BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids "Don't think about having kids, just do it!"

Oh, and I'd like to add, that even in my friend's current situation, she is considering adopting or becoming a foster parent. Sometimes when she talks, I just want to shake her. Don't think - just do!!

'Don't think about having kids, just do it' - maybe a new advertising slogan for Nike if they start making overpriced baby clothes??! That is honestly one of the most stupid reasons I've ever heard - possibly takes second place to 'all your friends are doing it, why don't you?' (actually a quote from my mother as part of her argument that I don't want to leave it too long or all my friends will have much older children and my children will miss out on having a ready-made circle of friends!!!) There are plenty of things I would like to do, for instance: sell everything I own and travel the world until the money runs out - doesn't mean I'd ever do it without serious planning and due consideration though!

Capybara, that's my dream! Sell everything I own and travel the world till the money runs out...LOL

Mine too Love Muffin! And yet another reason to not have kids - the freedom and money to travel.

I can't say much as to why people have kids but I think that having kids makes them feel important. I mean- when having kids, kids are completely reliant upon the parents and will NOT survive without the parents taking constant care of them.

My opinion on the definition of "having a purpose": Some people believe that by having kids that they now are important because if it weren't for them then the child would not survive.

To me, I enjoy helping a company grow and succeed. I feel important by contributing to the household in a monetary manner rather than by doing chores. After all, paychecks pay the bills-laundry, dishes, and kids do not. I don't mean put put anyone down or hurt feelings as both, moms and working people, are needed to keep society running and expanding.

"Don't think about it, just do it" is the most ridiculous thing I have heard when it comes to having kids.

I have kids and I love them. I have wanted kids ever since I was a kid. Unfortunately, I have five kids with three diferent women because none of my marriages have lasted. Actually I was married twice and one I hadn't had a chance to marry before she left me for someone else.

The mistake I made was "just doing it" without thinking about it first and making sure my marriages were secure before bringing kids into the world. I had my first two kids when before my first marriage was barely a year old. We did last 11 years but most of that was me staying married because of the kids and thats no way to be. We had them when I ws 21 and she was 18. I wanted kids when I was young so I could grow up with them. Thats no way to think either. They are both in their 20's now and living on their own. I have custody of an 11 year old boy and a ten year old girl and my fifth child is six and living with her mother in Michigan.

I didn't live with any of them before getting married except for the one I didn't get to marry before she left me and the children I had with her are the ones I have custody of.

I don't regret having my children, I just regret the circumstances. As a Christian, I have a moral obligation not to "live in sin" but to get married first and now I can say that's hogwash. You should live with someone for a year or two before getting married and deciding if you want kids. I can attest to kids are very expensive to have and if you both don't have good jobs or good medical insurance, you have no business wanting or having kids. I wish someone gave me that advice many years ago.

If having kids was as easy as "don't think about it...just do it" then there would be no problems in the world.

Please, as a father who has had problems with having kids without a secure marriage or a good job, I am asking you to pleas think about it. Think about it long and hard before making a life changing decision.

Them: subscribing to the "just do it" idea and allowing themselves to succumb to their most basest simian impulses= you are now a loving, selfless responsible person. Us: taking time to think the impulse through and concluding it's not a good idea= now considered selfish, deficient, immature people! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD???

Going along with the "just do it" theory is utter nonsense. Only YOU know what is right for you, and nobody should be trying to influence you into having children you may not want or are ready for. Considering the great responsibility, money, time, effort, and stress related to having children, it is never a good idea to succumb to outside pressure. It's not like getting a pet that "maybe" someone will take off your hands if it doesn't work out, and even here I think you should only have a pet if you will take it on for life. Having children is a lifelong commitment and ought to be treated as such.