BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Hi everyone - and thank you.

Hi everyone - just wanted to say hello, because I've got a feeling I'll be on here a lot from now on! And thank you for making my situation easier. I'm 32, my boyfriend's 28, and we've been together for eight years. He's known from day one that I don't want kids, but both of us thought there was a chance I'd change my mind, and at 20, he wasn't worried either way. But now he has a nephew who looks exactly like him, he's realised he definitely wants them, so we have to split up. I'm totally devastated and can't stop crying, but this site has helped me realise it's the right choice (despite LOTS of my friends trying to persuade me that if I just have them, everything will be fine). At the moment, we're still living together, and although I know it makes things harder, can't stop myself still acting like we're together. But on 12th Feb we'll be moving out and parting ways, and it will be horrendous! At least I'll have you all to remind me every day that however hard it is, having a child I don't want would be even harder.

Hi RosieM

Hello and welcome to our community of no kids. My heart goes out to you for being in this horrific situation of having to break up your relationship because your partner has decided he wants to procreate.

You have come to the right place for support. I have been married for many years. Before we got married I told my husband-to-be that I would never ever have kids. He was fine with that and we have never regretted that decision.

You sound like you are very certain re: your decision. Don't ever let anyone "talk" you into doing something that would change your life forever. Perhaps before you get into another relationship you should explain to that special person that you do not want to have kids . Hopefully this would prevent you from getting your heart broken, again.

I wish you the very best. You are young and you will find that special person who, like you has chosen not to have kids. There are lots of folks like us out there but most have not openly expressed their wishes regarding the childfree life they wish to live.

So be strong and take care.

Most sincerely.
cp

Hi Rosie, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Just remind yourself that if you were to "break down" and have a child to "save" this relationship, your relationship will change (as they all do when a child enters the picture) and may not survive anyway. Then, you'll not only be without your partner, but you'll be saddled with a child, custody agreements/battles, and dating as a single mom. Hang in there. I will be thinking about you.

Sorry for your situation.

I agree with the other posters. And I think it's very brave of you to stick by your guns and do what you feel you have to instead of giving in to someone else's needs.

You are strong and you'll be just fine. You just need time to grieve right now. Wishing you nothing but the best.

Thanks everyone! It's so hard knowing this will be our last Christmas together, and that I'll be leaving a home I love to live with strangers in a house share next year. Part of me hopes in a year or so he'll realise what we have is unique, and maybe children can't match that after all. But meanwhile I'll take all your kind thoughts on board and use them to help me through this awful time! xxx

Hang in there Rosie, my heart goes out to you, take care of yourself.