BellaOnline Forums Home and Garden Cats How do you know when it's time?

I just got home from the vet and found out my sweet precious kitty has cancer.

The vet said we could try exploratory surgery, but the mass is very large and xrays show it in her bowels. He said they often have to call people during surgery to tell them it is so bad, they aren't going to wake the kitty up.

He said she only has a few weeks left. My husband asked if she was in any pain, and he said she wasn't showing any signs of that.

He has been our vet since we moved here 8 years ago, and she's been in to see him A LOT for an unrelated skin condition. So we trust him. We asked what he would do if it was his cat, and he said he would put her to sleep. Not now, but he advised us not to wait for her to die on her own.

So my question is, how on earth do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a cat you love more than anything in the world?

If you've had to make this decision, how did you know?

I have been crying since he told me 3 hours ago. I knew she had lost some weight, but I truly didn't expect this news. It is just such a shock.

Heartbroken doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling.

Kim
I sent you a PM.

Oh, Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your precious kitty. I am going through the same thing with my baby kitty, Kelly. She is 16 years old and has been losing weight and throwing up for the last 4 months. The vet told me 2 months ago that she has a tumor on her thyroid. He wanted to do all kinds of tests, keep her in the hospital and give IVs and put her on medicine. I have declined those offers and decided I wanted to keep her with me as long as I can. I am trying to make her comfortable and give her as much attention as I can.

Sometimes I just want to cry when I am holding and loving her and she is looking up at me and laying her head on my chest like a baby. She is happy and.... I started to say "healthy" but that seems silly...I guess "not in pain" would be more accurate, that I want to keep her around me. You can tell if she is in pain by the way she acts, if she is crying alot, or if she moving around frantically or not moving at all.

If she starts to really appear sickly or suffer with pain or continually vomit, then I will need to put her to sleep. I am trying to make sure my baby can be comfortable and yet die with dignity. I just want to keep her close to me for as long as I can.

I don't want to see Kelly suffer and it really pains me to know that she is dying, but it gives me a chance to give her special foods that she is not used to getting. I boil water and make her dry food with a gravy; I give her milk and cheese. She doesn't know why I am giving in to her wishes for comfort food, but that is okay, because I know. How long will I be able to do this for her? How long will she continue to be able to get around and be comfortable? How long will I be able to stand watching her shrink and shrivel away? I don't know. It is so sad.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kitty. I hope that you can take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I think it is best to treat her as you would any loved one who is dying. Remember that you can let hospice give her morphine when she is at her end (meaning take her to the vet and let him make her comfortable for the last time.) I just lost my mother after I found out Kelly was sick and I am trying to follow the same path to make her passing as easy as it can be.

Good luck, Kim. Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love, Trish

I'm glad I happened on this thread. My kitty is 19. She had lost alot of weight. I took her in for an infection and the vet found a mass in her belly and one in her ear. I think the vet thought she would die soon, if not when she was working on her. She got over the infection an is acting normal again (sort of)

She is still skin and bones and can't seem to get her whole body into the litter pan at once. Her kidneys seem to be going too.

I ask myself everyday, if we should make that decision to have her put down.

Heartbreaking.

I have always wondered what I would do in your situations. Unfortunately, my pet losses have been both untimely and unexpected. Though, very fortunately, very quick (at least I'd like to think so). I can only offer my opinion and thoughts. As a pet owner, my child 's grown up, so it's me, the man, and our beloved dog. We also have a house mate with an elderly, 14 y/o pit/chow mix, who a couple of weeks ago became very ill. While none of us had the funds to put towards a vet bill, I felt that it was only right to at the very least make sure that if it was something serious, that we'd have that knowledge and be able to make him as comfortable as possible. We did find out that he has liver problems, but lab tests didn't appear to indicate anything necessarily terminal. He shows obvious signs of some aches and pains of old age, I'm 49, and I can relate to some of that stuff myself, but neither one of us are ready to NOT get up, we're down with the struggle (so to speak). I think that when "that" time comes, you'll just know. You'll be able to feel your pets discomfort and know that the only benefit of them being alive, is for you, and not them. Take joy in the life that they've had with you and you were a part of. Pamper and care for them, show them your appreciation for their friendship. My prayers and thoughts are with you all. You are Joy, Joyfully, Janet

I have had to put down (how I HATE that term!) several old sick cats in my lifetime, and it is always so hard. But for me it was a decision made when the dear old fellow seemed to be struggling with pain or incurable illness, so that keeping him going was not a blessing for him. Each one took a piece of my heart with him, but that is the price you pay for their wonderful companionship for all those years.
Hugs to all of you going through it now.

There have been some wonderful observations here, and I have nothing to add except to reiterate, you will know. The look in your pet's eyes can tell you more than you know about how they feel. When the quality of life is gone you will know. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I think it's time.

We are going to spend one more night with her and take her in tomorrow. Our vet doesn't work on Wednesdays and it is important to us that he be the one that does it.

I am heartbroken beyond words. This is the first time I've lost a kitty. My husband and I have loved them both more than we ever thought possible. When we moved to a new state 8 years ago, we didn't know anyone and had no friends. But we had those two sweet kitties to come home to every night. They are our family, our very best friends, and we are so attached to them.

I don't know what it will be like to only have one cat. We got them as a set. Two identical silver tabbies, sisters in the same litter. They've never spent a day apart in their lives. How can I look at one and not think of the other?

This has all happened so fast, and yet it has been so slow. Watching for signs, getting false hope, feeling like the world is closing in on you. We only noticed her weight loss last week -- I called the vet one week ago today and took her in on Monday. And already we are looking at the end. It is heartbreaking.

Thank you to all of you who have written. It helps to know someone else knows what you're going through. There is always some doubt when you talk to people who just don't like animals. You feel like they are judging you, and ridiculing you silently. It helps to talk to other animal lovers. Only you know what it feels like.

I'm going to pet her and love her for one more night on my pillow. I doubt either of us will sleep much.

((Kim))
Take good care of the remaining sister kitty, she will be heartbroken too. At least you can console her when she mourns her sister, and she will.

Well, she is gone.

We took her in on Thursday. Our house is so empty and quiet and lonely without her.

Her sister seems to be OK right now. She seems more affectionate. She is eating. Since we've always had two cats, we're not sure what's "normal" for her to eat. I suspect she is going to overeat rather than stop eating, so we're watching that.

I can't bear to retell the story of taking her. For now, I'll just say it was peaceful, even though she cried all the way there. It broke my heart and made me sob.

Thank you for all your words of support this week. I can't believe one week ago I didn't have a clue she was sick and now she is gone...