BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health My Wife Has Dissociative Identity Disorder

What they were trying to say is that a person pretends to have DID in order to get attention, making them a sophisticated boarderline.

I have DID. There is no way that anyone here can tell if she "has it" or not.

Because she has been diagnosed, that shouldn't even be the issue. That's not your question.

You can't let any mental illness take control of your life. If it's bothering you (which it sounds like it is) say something. It's not uncommon for married couples or s.o. to need couple therapy at the same time.

Unlike what the popular media seems to imply - Someone with DID is absolutley responsible for what everything their body does.

So if someone is 100% responsible for what their body is doing....then why do they do it? it's obviously not an illness making them do it..because then they wouldn't be responsible. If I have 100% control over whether I drink alcohol..then im not an alcoholic. Period. If you have a disease..you lose control.

So if you have 100% control and you are "absolutley responsible for what everything their body does"...then you don't have a disease..you are just seeking attention.

Hello, I�m DID as well. A quick background on me since I just joined �cos I saw this topic!!
I�m happily married, 33 y/o female. I�ve been DID since age 7, dx�d at 17. I�m also a Christian (not pushing it, just merely stating a fact) & after years of therapy believe DID is my blessing. I�m alive BECAUSE my mind split & created alters to cover up the abuse. Why would I want to cure something that keeps me alive? Granted, I would like the depression & anxiety helped, but the DID is a blessing to me, not something to be cured.
I have to agree w/ Ditto. There is no tests to determine if someone is a dissociative or is faking it. You just don�t know. You have to trust that person. But DID IS REAL!
Mental illness is not �that bad�. It�s not what�s portrayed in the movies. Now granted, it is frustrating, confusing & at times hellish, but if you want to be all nitpicky, mental illness is in actuality a PHYSICAL disorder. The brain is affected (the mind) & the brain IS physical. So when somebody says to me, Aww it�s all in your head.. My reply is �Duh!� Just like if one said to a diabetic, It�s all in your pancreas� Well of course it is!!
I don�t believe in mental disorders being cured �cos there is always that chance to relapse. It�s the personality that�s affected. Same w/ an alcoholic. One can be a �dry drunk� but they still have to be careful they don�t take that �one sip�. I do believe we can learn to manage our disorders.
Again, I agree. What my alters do, �I� am responsible for. I may not remember but it�s still on me.
Why do we do it? Ok, why does an alcoholic drink? A druggie use drugs? A bulimic purges? We don�t know those answers. It�s a mental disorder & hence we have dis order.
Let me answer your questions Skeeter (not picking on you, just answering your questions). Just �cos it�s a disease, a disorder, does not make one less responsible. While we did not choose to be disordered (beit DID, alcoholic, depressed, anxious�) we DO have a choice in how we let the disorders control us. We can choose to wallow & say Woe is me, I�m disordered, blah blah or we can stand up & fight to be as healthy as we can. I didn�t choose to be molested or raped. I certainly did not choose to be DID. But I DO choose to get counseling, to write out my feelings, to educate myself as well as others to what mental illness is about.
I hope this answers your questions.
For those who don�t believe DID exists, this is my theory. People would rather believe you are schizo �cos it�s an organic disorder. It can �just happen�. Chemical imbalance like one w/ anemia would need more iron. For DID to happen, you need trauma, usually in the form of sexual abuse. To admit DID exists would mean having to admit WHY it exists� namely abuse, child SEXUAL abuse. So you push it under the rug �cos humans just aren�t that sick.
The stats are high out there w/ child sexual abuse.
My opinions, my beliefs & I just hope we all are mature enough to accept each other & be willing to LEARN.
Love,
Reina

Very insightful Reina - thank you for sharing. I appreciate your thoughts. In any disorder, one can assume responsibility for themselves - whether (as you say for a diabetic) it is taking insulin, (for psychosis) taking medication, (for DID) self awareness and knowing triggers, or (abstinence) if there is history of substance abuse. Denial makes it difficult not only for the individual, but for those involved in their lives around them. Just as much as attention seeking behaviors, which sometimes CAN be difficult to decipher, make it trying.

shakabra - DID is a real mental illness. If you have confidence that your wife's doctor is correct in his/her diagnosis, then I would suggest that you consult with her doctor on how best to handle your wife's alter's relationships. The way that you interact with her alters is very critical to her recovery.

Even if a person doesn't have DID, the fact that they would pretend to have such an illness just to get attention indicates that they are having emotional problems anyway. So I think it is always wise to treat it seriously.

My wife was diagnosed with DID by a hypnotherapist who said he was ninety five percent certain of two personalities. We found out she was having gang banging sex in public restrooms. To fix this problem the two personalities have to merge to become one. I remember many occasions of her always needing to go to rest rooms while out and about, but when we talk about these occasions she remembers our conversations before and after, which leads me to think she has to be fully aware of what she has been doing. Does this make sense to anyone.

I agree with Diana. Valid or not, there is a real problem with your wife's well-being and mental state.

On the other hand, I think that new weekly TV series, United States of Tara, has promoted a lot of drama. Women who are not happy with their lives may use this fantasy as a reason to mis-behave and do things they have always fantacised about but were afraid to do. Claiming to be DID is an easy out. Still, your best choice is to do as Diana suggests, consult with her doctor to get the best idea on how to deal with this. Even a second or third medical opinion would be wise.

Drew,

Couples therapy might help you figure these issues out. A good therapist will have a better understanding of the complex issues involved for you, your wife, and your relationship.

In the meantime, I hope the community's feedback helps you sort through the confusion and complexity.

Thanks for your posts, everyone.
Erin