BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids *sigh of relief*

I am twenty-seven and the only one of my friends that hasn't had kids. I always thought that it was a little irritating and unfortunate but I thought that as time went on and the kids got older they would get off the "parental high-horse." It gets bad when your high school misfit buddies now have more in common with your middle aged parents than they do with you.
It all came to a head last year when I went to my best friends baby shower and it became immediately apparent that I was an outsider. My child free status became the butt of all the jokes. I left nearly in tears. The friends that were unique to the cliquish crowds in school now are no different. It's just a bit bewildering.
I don't mean to pout like a child but I am so pleased to find a group of like-minded women!

What a horrible experience that shower must have been! Believe me, I HATE baby showers (I recently decided I will no longer attend them), but I am usually invisible at them. I can't imagine being the butt of friend's jokes.

I know how you feel. There is nothing more isolating and painful than realizing your friendship will NEVER be the same again. I never felt quite prepared for the fact that once I reached a certain age, I would constantly be around pregnancy, birth, and children. I am so tired of it! I am so tired of feeling like the weird one. I am so done with pregnant friends looking at me with that STUPID smile and saying, "So, when will it be your turn?"

I don't go to baby showers either. Not fun. I would rather be home doing something, anything, else.

Ditto for me. I stopped accepting baby shower invitations and anytime someone I know goes off on a tangent about their kids, I start the same about my pets. Enough already.

I haven't gone to a bridal shower in over 5 yrs. now and refused to have one when I got married! I once told a friend that I hated them and she looked at me like I was insane. She looked forward to all her friends' showers and helped plan all the idiotic games for them!

There is nothing worse that losing your old friends over this issue and being made to feel like an outsider, when a few years ago you were all hanging out and having a great time. I've even come to loathe family events, including weddings, for this reason. Welcome to our little group!

Hi all! I'm new but thrilled that I've found you all! I have to agree, that I think the only thing I didn't think of was the preparation for when EVERYONE around me was procreating.....any tips on how to deal? I wouldn't do a baby shower on a good day so that helps...its weird though that I can feel like less of a woman simply by being surrounded by swollen bellies.....

i don't understand it at all either. people take no consideration of the feelings of others it seems. no matter what your reason is for not having children, they shouldn't make it a joke. what if they do that to someone who actually wants kids but can't conceive? ugh. that would be devastating as well. what is it with people? don't they think about how their words affect people?

i'm so sorry you had to be treated like that. what a horrible experience that must have been. that stinks that no one even stood up for you. rotten crowd.

right now, i have 2 preggos at work and a girl who's engaged. all people talk about is babies and weddings, and it irks the tar out of me sometimes. the girls are more than their reproductive and marital status. i try to talk about other things. but people think i'm nuts for that.

What a horrible experience. I think I would have reacted just like you. I am so happy to know only baby showers through American TV shows, and I thank God that such a thing does not exist where I come from!

I'm sorry you had to be subjected to that experience especially coming from so called friends. Not only were you put on "display" as an outsider, it seems like it was a slap in the face that friends would treat you in that regard. I was invited to one recently (which I never go to these things)out of obligation (my fault!) was subjected to the same scrutiny. It was embarassing being the only one who was childless and then asked to coordinate the gift cards and present openings in front because i was the only one with two free hands. Note to self, I will be politely declining from now on. Reading many of these posts by women have experience the gammit of opinions, suggestions and orders from others who have children, is to decide what's best for you and keep a running mantra in your head: "this is my life, these are my choices and I'm glad children have worked so wonderfully for you - it isn't for me!"

I have kids and I hate going to baby showers for the very reason of my child free friends getting picked on or jabbed about when they are going to have kids. I have even said in the past to girls at the party "what about she doesn't want children do you not understand". And I got tired of hearing "she will change her mind". It is a shame to loose friends like that but you are better off getting away from such negativity directed at you.