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#458182 10/09/08 08:49 PM
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I'm just wondering if anyone else has had an experience with Misoprostol for a missed miscarriage and the recovery. The explanation is long: Two weeks ago we had an ultrasound (by dates I was 10 weeks), Baby only measured 6,3days weeks,no heartbeat. They gave me a week to see if there was any change, but there wasn't. I was told I had a missed miscarriage and that the Baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks but my body had continued with the pregnancy which was why I still had all the pregnancy syymtoms and was getting bigger. They told me it obviously wouldn't happen on it's own and sceduled me for a d&c at 730 the next morning. When I got there they made me wait in a delivery room of all places and after half an hour the on call doctor came in only to say the head of maternity decided this wasn't the course of action he wanted to take and made me do it myself at home with Misoprostol. The medication made me dialate and contract, labor in other words. The pain was terrible and finally at 1am the next morning it happened, but instead of being clotts like they told me it was one large mass. God help me it got stuck and I had to pull it from me and couldn't think what to do. The whole thing was traumatic physically and emotionally. I haven't completely stopped crying since then it comes in jags, they put me on Ativan for three days to calm me and I'm to go back to work on Monday, but I dont' think I'm ready. I'm getting so frustrated at myself and feel ridiculous at how I'm carrying on. I know in my heart a miscarriage occurs when something didn't go right, but it's the rest of the experience on top of the grieving that I'm having trouble dealing with. Can anyone relate or give me advice?

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suzyq073 #461885 10/22/08 12:52 PM
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Hi Suzyg073.
on May 30/08, I was given Misoprostal for a missed miscarriage. My experience was similar to yours. I went home, and passed all the "products of pregnancy" on the toilet.
This was indeed horrifying.
Then in Aug/08 we discovered we were pregnant again! What a miracle. But before my first ob/gyn appointment, I started to bleed. No cramps at all, but I knew right away that the baby was lost. That is the most dissapointment I've ever felt in my life. So I went up to emergency at the hospital on Oct 12/08, where I am made to wait for 5 hours. They tell me to go home, and come back in the morning. There was no thechnician there to give me an ultrasound. So, the next day, after waiting another 7 hours in the hall at emergency, I was sent home with a prescription for misoprostal. This time I was 12 weeks along, so ther was much more material to pass. And I did have bad cramps for almost a week. But my follow up ultrasound was clear, so we are going to try again next month.
Don't feel guilt or shame about what happened. You have every right to grieve. You lost a baby. Once we know it's alive & growing in there, it's our baby. It doesn't matter if you were not far along. You were already attached. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through.
As far as how to deal with things, I take it one day at a time. Some days are better than others. It's ok to break down & cry, that's how women relieve stress. Take time to take care of yourself. You are in my prayers.
Tracey

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suzyq and mammawannabe,

I am so sorry for your losses! I had the same experience on October 1st - I was 10 weeks along with twins. We knew one baby's heart had stopped at 8 weeks, but were shocked to find out the second one stopped also. We were sent home with Misoprostal and after 18 hours of labor, delivered the dead baby. The emotional pain comes and goes. Some days I'm fine and others I'm devastated.

You're not "ridiculous" nor are you "carrying on". You're grieving a great traumatic loss. I'm so sorry.

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Thank you so much for responding, no one I know here had even heard of Misoprostol nevermind experience it. Miscarriage are all devastating, but to me using Misoprostol is different in that it's not spontaneous and you are taking the situation into your own hands. I still have thoughts of what if I had my dates wrong and they just couldn't see the heart beat yet and find myself counting on the calendar. I think it's barbaric they send you home to do this, other countries keep you in overnight to monitor and give pain meds. I have written a letter to our health board, though I doubt it will do much good. I have a guarantee from my doctor that I won't have to do this again, he will arrange a d and c for me, I couldn't do that again.
You are trying again next month? Did the doctor say that was okay? I was told (not by a doctor) to wait at least 3 cycles.
Some days are better than others. The next 5 months are going to be rough, I planned everything around being pregnant and the Baby was due the week between our 1st anniversary and Easter so that will be a very sad holiday. One of the guys brought his baby dressed up on Halloween and I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom getting control over the tears, but it is easier each day. I hope things go well for you and again thank you.
Tracy

MegMarie #465909 11/05/08 10:02 AM
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MegMarie,

My long response was to you as well as mammawannabe. Thank you for responding to my post and for your support.
Tracy

suzyq073 #466151 11/06/08 10:07 AM
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I wish you all the best. I am recovering from a D&C after a missed miscarriage. I should have been about 12 weeks, but the baby stopped developing at 9 weeks. At our first appt, there was no heartbeat. I don't think there are words to describe the feeling, it just sux.

I've found that getting my feelings out seems to help. I don't know anyone who's experienced a miscarriage, so no one really understands. These forums are great, and I've decided to start a journal.

I think for me, so much pain comes from having nothing there when I lay my hand on my belly. Just that feeling of emptiness.

My husband isn't one to show emotions, which makes it a little harder on me because I want to know what he is thinking. I guess that's just a difference in men and women.

You mention the date that your baby was due, and I totally understand. My baby would have been due at my birthday (mid-May). Which is also right at Mother's Day. I dread those days. We had the terrible dr appt on the day before my husband's birthday, and the D&C on Halloween. So I fear that our birthday's aren't going to be a time to celebrate for a while. What a birthday present.

jennyp410 #466384 11/07/08 01:45 AM
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jenny,

I'm so sorry for your loss, and agree there are no words to describe it other than the emptiness that's left. I cried for days, but it does get easier with time though it may not feel like it now.
My husband doesn't show his emotions either, we don't talk about it which to me feels like he's pretending it didn't happen. Within days he was laughing again, I still find it hard to laugh somedays even now. Everything reminds me because everything was planned around the pregnancy. There is also a "baby boom" (as the maternity clinic described it) going on in our city, so everywhere there are pregnant women and babies. My office is also right next door to a maternity/baby clothing store, so I pass that 4 times a day.
I find this forum helps as well, it's a way of getting the feelings out without making anyone uncomfortable, they've been throught it too.
Take care of yourself,
Tracy

suzyq073 #466419 11/07/08 09:59 AM
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The journal also helped. I've never kept one, but once I started writing, it just kept coming. It really has helped me sort through my feelings.

jennyp410 #466803 11/08/08 10:10 PM
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wow, jennyp410, your situation is so similar to mine its crazy. i'm so sorry to everyone that we had to go through this. its also nice to hear other's experiences too. i still had some pregnancy symptoms like getting bigger and found that so confusing. i have to say that i found the misoprostol actually a huge relief. i found out the baby had died and for 3 days tried desperately to get someone to help me get miso. i actually ended up asking a favour from a friend who's an obstetrician. even though the whole process was difficult, i was so happy to be able to be at home and to at least end the pain of knowing my pregnancy was over, but i was still in the purgatory of knowing the baby was still there. i'd have to think a surprise miscarriage has to be even worse, not that this was easy by any means. and my husband is wonderful, but i've experienced the same thing, he just can't quite understand. i think i'm lucky because in my job i knew about misoprostol and basically what to expect. i can't imagine what the rest of you went through without having some understanding of the process. i have to go back to work on tuesday where i counsel pregnant women, so wish me luck! all the best to all of you, and do know that the odds are so, so good for better things in the future. sorry for the long blab, it was just so good to hear other people's stories


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