I had 3 miscarriages all in a row and at age 41 had my first baby. I know when I was in the midst of my losses that I found comfort from success stories and I hope you will find comfort from mine. All 3 miscarriages occurred between 8 and 11 weeks, where the ultrasound showed that there was not sufficient growth. 2 out of 3 had no heartbeat, and the 3rd had a heartbeat for a very short time. I had D&Cï¿½s with all 3. Also, my doctor sent the tissue for chromosomal analysis. 2 out of 3 showed chromosomal abnormalities. The 3rd did not have sufficient tissue for testing. This was important, because it showed me that the issue was with my eggs (probably from being older). I could rule out a uterus, hormonal or other problem. My husband and I were both tested for genetic problemsï¿½test results were negative (itï¿½s a blood test).
As you know, the loses were emotionally devastating. I told people for the first 2 and told no one for the 3rd. It was bad both ways. Telling people was good, since they were supportiveï¿½but bad because they said stupid things or the pity was more depressing. Telling no one was good because you could hide it, but bad because I really needed the support. Again, the pain is horrible and thereï¿½s no right answer. Be good to yourself. And cry, it does help. And I cried a lot (and I am not usually a big crier).
After the 3rd loss, I decided to change EVERTYHING. Hereï¿½s what I did. I changed prenatal vitamins (which was ridiculous--- but I wanted to change EVEYRHTING). I dropped my OBGYN and went to a fertility specialist. I know itï¿½s sound dumb to go to a fertility specialist, since I got pregnant easilyï¿½but they can be helpful. I actually went to FOUR specialist until I found one I liked. Most of the specialists that I met wanted me to go through a series of expensive and/or painful tests. Unless it made sense to me, I refused. One doctor said that they needed to do a test to make sure I didnï¿½t have more than one uterus or a faulty uterus. I had to keep reminding them that my losses were chormosonal, I had D&Cï¿½s. and my uterus was fine. You can say no to tests, I did. I said yes to all the blood tests. I found out that I had no diseases or issues, as I suspected.
The other thing the docs were pushing hard for was Invetro (IVF). To me, that made no scientific sense--- I have a problem with my eggsï¿½how is taking them out and putting them back in going to help them? Some docs also suggested IVF with PGD. However PGD (which analyses the eggs for defects) is fairly new and can damage already fragile eggs. Also, these procedures are VERY expensive. One doctor suggested a donor egg, which didnï¿½t interest me. By the way, this was all very upsetting. In the end I found a doc that listened to me and I went on fertility drugs. The theory was to get more than one egg and if one egg was damaged--- maybe the 2nd would be good. My doc was pushing hard for insemination. I said no, I GOT pregnant, I just couldnï¿½t STAY pregnant. We did it the natural way with the injectable drugs (Gonal F and Ovidrel) and I got pregnant with my son. I also insisted on hormones. My doc didnï¿½t think theyï¿½d help, but it couldnï¿½t hurt. I also received acupuncture thought this whole process. There havenï¿½t been a lot of studies for miscarriages and acupuncture--- but again, it couldnï¿½t hurt (and itï¿½s very relaxing). There have been some studies with IVF and acupuncture--- and it showed that IVF women with acupuncture miscarried less. And that was good enough for me.
When I was in the midst of the miscarriages, I read a success story on this site about how your life could change. I promised myself that I too would write my story if I had success. I hope you will do the same. You are not too old. ALL of your eggs canï¿½t be bad. Shop for a doctor the way you would for any expensive item. You are the boss. If your doctor wonï¿½t listen, find another. It can happen. I did for me.