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Debbi99 Offline OP
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I had 3 miscarriages all in a row and at age 41 had my first baby. I know when I was in the midst of my losses that I found comfort from success stories and I hope you will find comfort from mine. All 3 miscarriages occurred between 8 and 11 weeks, where the ultrasound showed that there was not sufficient growth. 2 out of 3 had no heartbeat, and the 3rd had a heartbeat for a very short time. I had D&C�s with all 3. Also, my doctor sent the tissue for chromosomal analysis. 2 out of 3 showed chromosomal abnormalities. The 3rd did not have sufficient tissue for testing. This was important, because it showed me that the issue was with my eggs (probably from being older). I could rule out a uterus, hormonal or other problem. My husband and I were both tested for genetic problems�test results were negative (it�s a blood test).

As you know, the loses were emotionally devastating. I told people for the first 2 and told no one for the 3rd. It was bad both ways. Telling people was good, since they were supportive�but bad because they said stupid things or the pity was more depressing. Telling no one was good because you could hide it, but bad because I really needed the support. Again, the pain is horrible and there�s no right answer. Be good to yourself. And cry, it does help. And I cried a lot (and I am not usually a big crier).

After the 3rd loss, I decided to change EVERTYHING. Here�s what I did. I changed prenatal vitamins (which was ridiculous--- but I wanted to change EVEYRHTING). I dropped my OBGYN and went to a fertility specialist. I know it�s sound dumb to go to a fertility specialist, since I got pregnant easily�but they can be helpful. I actually went to FOUR specialist until I found one I liked. Most of the specialists that I met wanted me to go through a series of expensive and/or painful tests. Unless it made sense to me, I refused. One doctor said that they needed to do a test to make sure I didn�t have more than one uterus or a faulty uterus. I had to keep reminding them that my losses were chormosonal, I had D&C�s. and my uterus was fine. You can say no to tests, I did. I said yes to all the blood tests. I found out that I had no diseases or issues, as I suspected.

The other thing the docs were pushing hard for was Invetro (IVF). To me, that made no scientific sense--- I have a problem with my eggs�how is taking them out and putting them back in going to help them? Some docs also suggested IVF with PGD. However PGD (which analyses the eggs for defects) is fairly new and can damage already fragile eggs. Also, these procedures are VERY expensive. One doctor suggested a donor egg, which didn�t interest me. By the way, this was all very upsetting. In the end I found a doc that listened to me and I went on fertility drugs. The theory was to get more than one egg and if one egg was damaged--- maybe the 2nd would be good. My doc was pushing hard for insemination. I said no, I GOT pregnant, I just couldn�t STAY pregnant. We did it the natural way with the injectable drugs (Gonal F and Ovidrel) and I got pregnant with my son. I also insisted on hormones. My doc didn�t think they�d help, but it couldn�t hurt. I also received acupuncture thought this whole process. There haven�t been a lot of studies for miscarriages and acupuncture--- but again, it couldn�t hurt (and it�s very relaxing). There have been some studies with IVF and acupuncture--- and it showed that IVF women with acupuncture miscarried less. And that was good enough for me.

When I was in the midst of the miscarriages, I read a success story on this site about how your life could change. I promised myself that I too would write my story if I had success. I hope you will do the same. You are not too old. ALL of your eggs can�t be bad. Shop for a doctor the way you would for any expensive item. You are the boss. If your doctor won�t listen, find another. It can happen. I did for me.

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Debbi, congratulations to you and your new baby


Rosie L
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Congratulations on the birth of your son. My grandmother suffered through multiple miscarriages and when she finally got her little girl (my mother) I know she was also outspoken about the options and just...being strong...hanging in there. I'm so proud of the proactive and informed role you took.

Blessings,
Angela <><


Angela England
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I am in the midst of my second miscarriage and found your story to be a comfort. I have a three-year-old, so I know I can do it, but I'm also 40 now.

Pretty sure I will also have to repeat "no, I GOT pregnant, I just need to STAY pregnant" a few times, especially when they get a look at my health care plan (unbelievably inclusive and no copay). The most recent fetus had a strong heartbeat so I suspect I am suffering from a progesterone problem.

I have heard about accupuncture from another woman and will give that a try as well as hormones. She had more than one friend get pregnant while using accupuncture, but didn't elaborate.

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Dear Debbi99~
I am so glad you posted your story. I just had my third consecutive miscarriage (I am 35). First baby was conceived naturally and we found out very unexpectedly at first ultrasound that baby had died some time ago. After three more years of trying on our own, we underwent 6 IUIs with no success. First IVF attempt we got pregnant, but miscarried at 8 weeks. Karyotyping on fetus showed Trisomy 16. One year later (after a failed frozen IVF cycle) we got pregnant again following a fresh IVF cycle, but again miscarried. Both times we saw a heartbeat, but baby developed too slowly and heartbeat eventually disappeared. This time, there wasn't enough tissue to do a genetic analysis so fertility Dr. doesn't really know how to proceed. We have two frozen embryos, but I'm so afraid to try again if there is no chance of a normal pregnancy. Each time I've m/c I've had difficult D&Cs. I am just so discouraged. Do you recall how expensive the genetic blood testing you had done was? NONE of our infertility treatments are covered by insurance, so it has all come out of pocket. I think that is our next step. Thank you for sharing your story. I, like you, find great comfort in the success stories of others.

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Thanks for this post. it is so great to get some positive news, and thanks for going into such detail.
Am so happy for you.
Congratulations!

I am normally quite a positive person and after every miscariage I still believed that some day soon all would work out for the best.

Every miscarriage is heartbreaking, however after my 4th miscarriage, I couldn't help feeling dispaired and thinking maybe I will never be able to bring a child to term.

We decided to put our application for adoption and that was a relief. We felt like we were taking back a little control of our lives again. atleast there is always hope.

Well thanks again for this posting, Congratulations & God bless
xx

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Debbi99 Offline OP
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Paula-

I am sorry you had to go through all of that. I so understand how hard it is. The insurance stuff was always horrible. The rule seems to be that infertility treatments are NOT covered (I am in Pennsylvania). However, infertility testing IS covered. I am almost positive the genetic testing of me & my husband was covered partially. It's a long shot, but it gave me comfort (our tests were negative).

I stuck with my original doctor for a long time (3 misscarriages in a short time). I felt like he would work for me, but really he was in over his head (he was a regular gyno). If you have any doubts with your docs-- switch. You should also think about accupuncture. Accupuncture has had great success with IVF. At the very least, it couldn't hurt.

I couldn't find any good multiple misscarriage books-- but there was a good book called "A few good eggs." We all have a few left!!

For anyone in PA-- my awesome fertility specialist is Dr. Samantha Butts and the Hospital of University of PA.
My accupunturist is Steven Marvos.

Best of luck to you all. I will be thinking of you all. Think of me too, as I am considering going for #2 (YIKES).


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Debbi99 Offline OP
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Thel,

Best of luck to you!!! I completely understand. My original doctor used to tell us this story about how this one patient of his missed 6 times in a row. Then he always said, "and 7 and 8 were boys". This brought me NO confort, and my husband & I couldn't stand that story. Your baby is out there-- whether it's your biological one or not.


Deb

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Originally Posted By: llk


Pretty sure I will also have to repeat "no, I GOT pregnant, I just need to STAY pregnant" a few times,


I remember saying that a few times too.


Moderated by  Christine - Miscarriage 

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