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just a thought #411638 04/26/08 02:19 AM
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Keaghry Offline OP
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About friendships in general, and relationships in particular, been considering this for a while. I am the only woman not married among my friends and coworkers, and I have/had, not sure whether it is coming to a natural closure, someone who seemed to care about and be ss interested as me as I was in him. We have been friends, with an occasional hint of more, for seven years, and in the last year he lost his job, and has been working on rebuilding his life.

While I accept that, losing someone I cared for hurt deeply, and I am trying to decide whether to just walk away from him, I feel pretty much like I'm nothing, and not because of him. What stings is the past few years of my life, it seemed people blamed me for what was wrong in their lives, and for me having so much when they had nothing, blaming me when I didn't just do what they wanted, and god forbid I have someone who gives me joy, because their spouses aren't that great and they wrecked my sense of joy in life.

I didn't use to care so much, I made good decisions and didn't rely too much on others. How do you choose whether to stay or go? I had enough to deal with, maybe you people should have taken responsibility for your actions rather then dumping it on me.


Last edited by Keaghry; 04/26/08 02:28 AM.
Re: just a thought [Re: Keaghry] #411773 04/26/08 08:27 PM
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SILVER50 Offline
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HI,
I'm not sure what you meant about staying or going? From this man or your friends? Well, about the part of some people blaming you for their problems, that is not your fault. Manipulative people will try to make you feel guilty when you don't do what they want you to do. Those people do not sound like good friends to me. You might be better off without them trying to drag you down. Well, they are responsible for their own actions just as you are. You should not allow them to take any joy out of your life.

Some married people think that single people don't have any problems & that is silly. We all have to deal with good & bad things in our lives. I'm not sure if you wanted the relationship with this male friend to become more serious or not. If you want more then you should talk to him about it & don't settle for less. Well, it is great to be very independant. But there are times when we want to & need to rely on other people. It sounds to me that these other people in your life are rather miserable & they are a bit jealous because you are doing well for yourself.

Good friends would be happy for you. Not blaming you for their problems. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Have a wonderful weekend. Judy K. Chicago Lady.

Re: just a thought [Re: SILVER50] #411781 04/26/08 09:22 PM
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bahrain Offline
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You said that you were having trouble deciding whether to stay or to go. I have been through some of the same things as you and what I have found over time is that once you find some true peace within yourself and your heart, then and only then will you find the courage to just walk away and at that time, you will feel good about it because it will be ok.

And you will know when that is. Some people can just be toxic to be around and unfortunately, that's just life in general.

I wish you luck and God Bless.

Re: just a thought [Re: SILVER50] #411805 04/26/08 10:44 PM
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Keaghry Offline OP
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Re: staying or going, both from the man and my friends, I have a hard time trusting myself or others, even when they are trustworthy.

The old, bad friends/associates are history, but I have one female friend from that time that I can't bring myself to stay open to. I have no faith in myself and need to get over that.

Yes, it seemed like more might be developing between my male friend and I, but exploring that is going to have to wait, he in particular isn't in a position to do that right now. He's good to and for me.

Thank you for your feedback, you have a wonderful weekend too : )

Last edited by Keaghry; 04/26/08 10:49 PM.
Re: just a thought [Re: bahrain] #411808 04/26/08 10:48 PM
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Keaghry Offline OP
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Thank you for sharing your experiences and for the best wishes, peace is missing. Most of the toxic I have left behind, just have to finish the process. It will happen, I just get frustrated.

Last edited by Keaghry; 04/26/08 10:50 PM.
Re: just a thought [Re: Keaghry] #423511 06/04/08 04:50 PM
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marina123 Offline
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Thank you for your feedback, you have a wonderful weekend too : )


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