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#409453 04/21/08 08:07 AM
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I thought we could help eachother work on our self esteem issues.

I still sometimes dream of bad situations i've lived through, and when i wake up on those mornings it's hard for me not to notice my self esteem is realy [censored]. So i was thinking this morning, how can i cast off those bad feelings? And my first thought was, "I'm going to be good to myself today." Do you guys find that how you treat yourself affects your self esteem that day? And what do you do when you want to feel worth more?

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Goodmorning, Im with you today! Im feeling bla and drained from spending the weekend with my depressed husband. There are times I need to recharge my spiritual emotional well being. Today I will rise above the negativity that affect my self esteem. Im off to the gym, then I will take a walk, go out to my studio to paint.....yes when I do things for myself I become a better person to be around. I too have self esteem issues from the past. They still come into play sometimes in bad dreams also. And remaining strong when my husband is so negative takes its toll on me. So please go and treat yourself to good things....its our one life we should feast on the good things...God Bless

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laugh Would you mind exercising for me while you're out? Hahahaha... i can't seem to get out of my computer chair this morning, LOL.

Yeah, it is tough sometimes being around someone who's being negative. I mean, we love them, but sometimes negativity feels contageous, doesn't it?

What do you like to paint? I used to paint a lot but fell out of the habit. I've been asked to teach painting this summer, though, so i am going to get back to doing it. You inspired me! I think i'll pull out my paints today! laugh

...don't forget to exercise for me though... i could lose a pound or two! wink

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Hi Jennifer:
My husband is also negative and prone to depression - it does drain me.

Holly:
I have had self-esteem issues from past experiences, as a lot of us do, and I am working on it - it does feel great to re-claim self-worth. We can all talk about it here.....
I am thinking positively and not dwelling on any bad past experiences that have zapped my self-esteem; whenever my mind wonders I yell at myself to stop, and think of a more positive feeling instead - it works!

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As the new Self Development editor, one of the major issues I want to address is self esteem (in fact it is going to have its own subject area.) To me, it is the backbone of our success and happiness.

What areas would you like to cover in self esteem?

What is at least one positive thing you can say about yourself that you'd like to share with us today?

I'll start - I start out my day saying something positive and upbeat to my husband and dog. It makes me feel good emotionally and its start my day off positively. P. S. Both my husband and dog are not morning people.


Sharon Michaels
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That is funny - my husband is definitely not a morning person either! Our cat is though, he wants his morning treats!

Thank you for your huge participation & leading in this forum!

Back to your question:

Areas to cover in self-esteem -
The biggest issue for me and I am sure for many others is to escape the past when self-esteem was low. Even after striving for high self-esteem, there are always triggers that bring you back to the past. Whenever I have a crisis, I am brought back to the past and my low self-esteem from that time.

Positive thing about myself:
People at work call me "Sunshine" because I smile and say happy things...... I must be uplifting their mood, and it makes me feel good!

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Thank you!!!

Good for you, everyone needs some "sunshine!"

We'll definitely be covering the past - there are old baggage triggers for all of us. We'll find ways to counteract the triggers and go consistently foward positively. We'll also be working on recognizing and conquering self-sabotage.

Hopefully this will be a site you'll want to come back to often.


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Yes - self-sabotage is definitely a problem.

Triggers bring me back to being overwhelmed and disliking myself, even if I know better logically.

I love this site, and you are very good at writing smile

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Isnt it funny that our worst enemy is actually ourselves? The amount of times I have done/said something that I hated me for afterwards. I don't need enemies with myself around!

I also find it excrusiating to forgive me too!

My positive thing is, after being depressed at going back to work after my holiday I was so happy at work today! I really loved it!


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Yes, how do you let go of that old baggage and free yourself? It would be wonderful to have a clear mind without anything holding you back. How do you stop beating up yourself for past mistakes?

Positive thoughts- I feel so good today! I'm eating healthy and going to workout. I am happy and being positive to my family.




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LOL, well I did go and exercise and I was wondering why it was alittle bit harder this morning...Holly...LOL And in answer to your question about what I paint, its furniture, murals and watercolors. Id love to hear more about yours also. This is such a wonderful site. So many nice people to share thoughts with. I will be here as much as posible, Im interested in conquering this bugaboo of the self esteem issue. I think of all the accomplishments Ive made in life and I still have the thoughts that I have to be better. And its true we need to be our own best friend. Cant wait to learn more from everyone!

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Here is probably a typical self esteem scenario: It has just gotten dark out and i sensed my mood changing. I think, have i done enough today? ...and start feeling like i haven't accomplished enough and i'm not good enough and why would anyone love me. I mean, i'm not totally beating myself up, but i just noticed the mood change so i'm going to examine it and i know it's a pattern i need to interrupt if i'm going to improve my self esteem.

Well, i DID get a bit done today... not that i should have to get things done to earn my right to live today, right? So where do we get this idea that we have to measure up? Can't i just be loving to myself and like myself as i am? Does any of this sound familiar?

________

Jennifer, i've done a little bit of everything in art, but mostly figure drawing, acrylic on canvas (different topics), b&w photography and calligraphy. I started sorting through my art supplies today and checking especially on the watercolor materials, because i want to start that up again and also the calligraphy. There is a gallery here that wants to sell a little of my stuff, but i'll need to start making it again! Time to clear out the old and start new stuff. I've also been asked to teach painting and paper mache this summer. I thought i might try to draw or paint a small watercolor or do a calligraphy piece each day... maybe that's a bit ambitious, hahaha. How about you, Jennifer?

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I think you'll enjoy a new article posted on our Self Development site - The Basics of Self-Esteem - here's the link: The Basics of Self-Esteem

Enjoy!

~Sharon smile


Sharon Michaels
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Thank you, Sharon. Nice article. I'm sure it does help to sit down and write lists of accomplishments or look at photos, etc. but i've done this and it seems to go only a little way to help. Most of our self esteem seems to happen or not happen in those many ways we talk to ourselves or make decisions throughout each day as things come up. For instance, how often have we said yes to something we really did not want to do, and in so doing taught ourselves that someone else's wants are always more important than our own? And how many times do we do something well enough but make a comment in our heads to criticize what we did because it wasn't perfect? I think we have to address these habits if we're going to make much progress. Don't you?

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Great articles; I am will be doing the exercises!

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Enhancing self-esteem is a day-to-day process and some days are better than others.

How well you treat yourself everyday will make an huge impact on your self-esteem.

Take everything in bite-sized pieces - one step at a time. Some progress is better than no progress.

How about deciding to do one self-esteem enhancing activity a day. Positive self-talk, get your hair done, listen to self development materials, etc.

Praise yourself at the end of the day for having a great day!


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What a great forum!


My self-esteem seems to go down when I let things I need to get done fall behind schedule. The unfinished "stuff" builds up and it puts a gloomy feeling on everything.

I have to literally make myself go on a run. (Which I am not always successful at doing.) When I finally get out and run, it seems to make the whole day a little brighter, even if it's cold and rainy wink. I then find the energy to slowly tackle my "unfinished list".

I guess I should get of my derierre and run! Hmmm. smile


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smile

Yes, i'm also trying to exercise every day as part of my self-care.

What other kinds of things might signify progress?

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