BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage your thoughts on polygamy?

The topic of polygamy is very much in the news now and I would like to know your thoughts on a polygamous union.

For me personally, I could not share my husband with anyone else. I believe that marriage is one man, one woman-that is me. Bear in mind that most of us have not been raised in polygamous households so we do feel differently than those women who were.

Give your opinions on the plus and minus of such unions.

I've been watching all the news on this with much interest, even my daughter has been interested in it because I seriously think that these woman are conditioned from a young age to accept this as normal. Watching the news footage, all it reminded me of was a commune.
Women all dressed the same, hairstyle the same, even the children. Please.....
If you notice men are always involved in stuff like this. I have never to this day heard of a woman brainwashing a bunch of men and sleeping with all of them and marrying off the offspring to older women, etc etc.
I think it's extremely sick. I feel sorry for these women and I feel sorry for the children that were brought into this mess innocently.
Nothing personal guys present on the forum, but this needs to be said. Men have been undermining women for generations and it's getting old real quick.

The things that bother me about this kind of cult is that the people aren't there of their own free will, and that underage girls are forced into marriage and raped by much older men. But, those are really separate issues from just straight polygamy.

If it was a question of consenting adults who are there because they choose to be there, I don't see what is so wrong about polygamy.

Personally, I'm sure the sexual side of things would be very difficult for me. I would have trouble dealing with sharing my husband's affections and love. It would be hard not to succumb to jealousy or competition, especially if you're in a regular marriage and suddenly your husband wanted to get another wife. I would have a problem with that!

But, maybe there are situations where the women are bisexual, or the sexuality issues weren't a problem...perhaps everyone entered the relationship at the same time, or it's the man and woman's choice to marry a 3rd person...then, that should be their right.

I have to admit, sometimes it seems like it would be fun to have another woman in the house if you had a great relationship like a friendship, and could have more people to help with housework and childrearing. So, if the sexual tensions weren't there, it wouldn't seem so bad.

I can completely see why the men would be happy to do it.. they get to have sex with more than one woman.. and the women aren't supposed to get annoyed about this.

I wonder how they would cope it the wives did exactly the same and slept with / married more than one man...

'But that's not God's will' I can hear all the men who believe in polygamy cry...

Odd, isn't it, how so many of 'God's will' seem to demean women and reduce them to second best compared to men?

I wouldn't say that polygamy is necessarily a bad thing as I think 'open' relationships can work as long as both parties are completely honest with each other... however I would argue that polygamy is bad if it's only open to one partner - that's not equal and just an excuse to sleep with other women.

Personally, I just do not see where the women could really be happy with the arrangement. Nor do I like the fact that a lot of wives aren't even 18.

I have heard that "it takes a village to raise a child" and in this case, it appears so.

It should be up to the men and women of the religion if it were equally balanced to benefit the women as well as the men.

I was watching some segment on GMA the other day. They were explaining what the difference in height of their hair means and also the color of their dress has a reference as well.

This one person was saying that their hair is this way because it is so far removed from what we have in society that they would not fit in and this would keep them isolated.

I dont really understand where the kids are in the foster system? are they all in homes already? Anyone in that state?

The two major problems I have with it is marrying children and having the government support your children. Most claim they do not know the father of their children so they can steal from the system. So they are breaking law in both of these instances, and harming children. There is polygamy going on outside of their church which does not do this.

As far as the adult women who choose to do it, that is fine if they are truly happy. And many have stated, like Freida aluded to, that it is great to have support in the home, and they do make friendships, but I'm thinking that is not the norm.

I'd rather be alone than with a man that wanted to be shared with another woman.

HI,
Wow, there are some really powerful posts here. I feel sorry for the children in these situations. I loved what Bahrain had to say. It is so true, you never hear of a woman with several men in her life. The children are the victims. The women who decide to do this, just make their children victims of some male pervert. I will hear of some older man with a 15 yr. old girl that they force into this life style.

I would not like it. If a adult woman wants to do this, it is up to her. But when she decides to have children, this is not good for them. The women always seem brainwashed to me. Maybe they were victims of different kinds of abuse too. Some of these women & young girls could be runaways also. I think that some of the men who are in charge of these groups look for women to recruit for this life style. It's not for me, that's for sure!
Judy K. Chicago.

Religion or not - the men that were with people underage should be arrested.

Hey, they used to say keeping slaves was in the bible, and that is against the law; so yes I agree gypsyinpurple! They should be arrested regardless of religion.