logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 26 1 2 3 25 26
#403688 04/07/08 05:13 AM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
OK I've read about this in several places now and it seems like a great challenge.

Can you go a whole month without complaining?

I am quite willing to give it a try!

I suppose we will have to judge what a complaint actually is. If you write in your journal about your day and you talk about a rough situation, is that complaining?


Lisa Shea, Low Carb and Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
this sounds both hard and complicated (which is, right there, me complaining), but also very intriguing. I am willing to try it, depending on which month. smile

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 998
Parakeet
Offline
Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 998
What qualifies as a complaint is so subjective. Is telling my finace all about my day (even the bad parts) complaining? If a certain co-worker screws up yet another customer's order, is making sure management knows about this problem complaining?

I don't see Jilly simply stating her belief that this challenge would be difficult as complaining, for example, but she does. Does that make sense?

I couldn't pledge to take on this challenge, simply because the line is so blurry. Best of luck to those brave enough to try it, though!

Last edited by myrabeth; 04/07/08 09:14 PM.

Happily Living The Childfree Life!
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
I think it's fair if each of us draws a personal line between what we feel is inappropriate and appropriate behavior. To say "I will try to do what I feel is right for 30 days" seems a great aim for all of us!

I think you can talk about a bad day in a way which is constructive - and also in a way that is whining. One way points out problems which could be fixed. Another way just expresses anger about issues.

Now, for example I just finished up a series of reviews. Some of the items I reviewed had issues. So I talked about these issues, like "the font was hard to read". This isn't complaining. It is explaining a problem. If I wrote "this brain-dead jerk didn't know what he was doing!!" that would be complaining smile

We can always bring up examples in this thread as we hit them, and see what we think about it!

So far I think I'm doing well smile


Lisa Shea, Low Carb and Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
so are we trying this now? or will it start at the begining of some month?

It is pretty hard to draw the line b/t a complaint and just talking. Dan says I am complaining all the time when, to me, it's just talking.

So i am a little sensitive to it. And I have no idea if that statement i just said is a complaint! smile

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
I promise I will try. Is it on now? - or do I still have time to complain about something?


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
Zebra
Offline
Zebra
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
Why don't we start from Monday 14th April?
That way we can brace ourselves for the effort - and get any arising complaints out of the way here and now!!!

The OED defines Complaining as a 'verbal expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance'.
So the way I see it (and it is just MY way, I would emphasise....)we need to make sure that whatever expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance that comes up in our minds is not verbalised. This could range from anything between the fact that the dishwasher repairman arrived in the afternoon instead of the morning, to the fact that Mother has just been the big Drama Control-Freak Queen, yet again - !!

Any takers on this?

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
The 14th sounds ok with me. Anyone else?


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,934
Likes: 4
It doesn't matter when you start - because the point is if you complain you start again. The aim is to try to go for a real month without complaining, not to for a month try to complain as little as you can and feel guilty when you do complain smile So you can start right now! Heck we can see by the 14th who has even made it that long without having to start over.

Bob and I were talking in the car tonight about what constitutes complaining. The thought is that you want to fill your world with positive energy and encouragement. So focusing on negative things is unhealthy for you. If you spend 20 minutes talking and musing about "how much that clerk at Home Depot was rude" then whether you call it complaining or sociological discussion, that is 20 minutes of your life that was wasted, spent on a "bad situation" and focusing on that "bad situation".

Now if you have a dog that peed on your carpet and you spend 20 minutes discussing methods of training him NOT to do that - that's not complaining, that is being productive in finding a way to better your life. But if you spend 20 minutes just ranting about your dumb dog and why he peed on your carpet again, that would be unproductive and complaining.

But again we can all bring up situations here in the thread to talk about, and to figure out if it is a positive or negative situation that time was spent on!

I don't *think* I have complained since I first posted. I'm trying to be aware of what I say but it's hard to be aware all the time. I'm thinking back over the Geek Girls dinner I just came from and pretty much the entire dinner is us all talking together and helping each other with ideas and brainstorming, so it is generally a long, positive talk, not a complaining one.


Lisa Shea, Low Carb and Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
Okay, i guess i need to know what more people think, since Lisa's statement here: "but it's hard to be aware all the time" sounds like a complaint to the way DH gets on my butt about complaining. smile

Page 1 of 26 1 2 3 25 26

Moderated by  Lisa - Buddhism 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5