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I actually think it's a really good sign that just one generation ago we all remember so vividly being hit - and that in our modern generation none of us would "pass that along" to our children.

That's a pretty impressive improvement record, after thousands of years of society hitting children!


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Mind you.... I can think of a few who might benefit from a little, gentle hanging, drawing and quartering.....

gentle, mind you....!grin

(In all likelihod, their parents might also benefit from a quiet word in their shell-like.....)

Last edited by Alexandra; 04/03/08 07:18 AM.
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I imagine there are kids out there who are terrors because their parents mis-raised them in one way or another. I imagine there are also kids who are terrors for "genetic" reasons - i.e. they have chemical imbalances or such that make them scream and yell and have no self control. I wonder if there are really any kids who do not fall into one category or another though ...?


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I was beaten...er...disciplined, I mean, when I was a kid as well.

My father would start out with ping pong paddles until he started breaking them. Then it was pieces of wood...er...paddles I mean.

This one time when I came home a half hour late my father told me to go to my room and he would be up in a few minutes. A few minutes later he came into my room with this thing that looked like a wooden cutting board with a handle only thicker. It was about 4 inches thick and the paddle was about 8 inches wide and about 12 inches long.

He had gone down in the cellar and made it with a piece of wood and a band saw. I called it the "Bed Wetter" because that is exactly what I did when he commenced to beating...er...paddling me with it.

My brother and I used to hide it but he was like a blood hound and would find it. I may have swatted my children on the butt a couple of times when they were younger but it was just a light "attention getter" but have never spanked them nor have I beaten them with paddles or belts.

My birth mother was abusive to us. I accidentally crapped my pants when I was three years old and she threw a shoe at me for it. She was physically abusive right up to the day when my father came home and caught her in bed with his best friend, but that's another story. She left that day, I was five years old and never saw her or heard from her ever again.

I always said I would never spank my kids and I never have. I guess I was lucky as to not grow up and be physically abusive... my kids are lucky too, I guess. lol.


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Vance,
Congratulations on breaking the cycle of abuse in your home. You are living proof that a child that has been abused can grow up to have healthy relationships with their own children and spouse.

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Vance, that is really inspiring. i am so sorry you had to experience that kind of abuse, and from both parents, but it sounds like you stopped the cycle of violence from going forward, and good for you! smile

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So many of use say the same thing.. we were spanked/ beaten/ paddled/ belted/ etc. when we were children and all managed to grow up and be healthy adults.

So short of what we feel was abuse at the time, in the long run it didn't hurt us. (although i'm sure in the cases where parents went overboard and truly abused their child it left a lasting impression) So what about kids now days? Most parents won't spank, or paddle, or do anything anymore. They rely on timeouts, groundings, etc. And what has happened.. We don't have well behaved children that listen to their parents. We have 8 year old who will stand toe to toe with their mother screaming and telling her no. Children are acting out every day, and as much as people want to feel like their positive reinforcements are working. There not. Children are worse.. much worse.. in aspects to behavior, and respect versus they were a generation ago.

So we don't spank anymore, but we arn't raising mature adolescants anymore.. is that a healthy trade off?

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Now before I get completely blasted.. I know that there are cases where parents were very overboard and crossed the line to abuse. I'm not arguing for them. I'm just pointing out that with the lack of "physical discipline" in some aspect or another, children have gotten worse. Period

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I don't think you can generalize like that, though. There were tons of obnoxious children 40 years ago. There are tons of obnoxious children in modern times.

If you want some fun, read back in Roman times, their actual accounts (which are still preserved in many books) of what the Romans thought of their kids. The Romans thought their kids were spoiled, jerks, did not listen tot heir parents, ran wild, and should all be beaten black and blue.

It is something *every* generation feels when looking back at their own childhood ...

If you personally were NOT raised to be allowed to be a jerk - then that is good. There are many children in modern times who can say the same thing.


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"So many of use say the same thing.. we were spanked/ beaten/ paddled/ belted/ etc. when we were children and all managed to grow up and be healthy adults."

While many of us that were abused as children (yes, I consider physical punishment abuse)grew up to lead healthy lives, there are countless that did not. Instead, these children grew up in confusion, pain, anger etc. Some grew up to abuse their own children and continue the cycle of abuse. I remember the times I was spanked with a belt. I remember the pain. I remember wondering what I had done that was so bad. I wondered why it was okay to hit me, yet at the same time told I could not hit anyone else. Physical abuse sends a certain message to children and it's not a good message. I realize this is a touchy subject, with so many emotionally involved in the discussion. However, I feel it is necessary to point out that not all children spanked with belts, paddles, sticks etc. grow up to lead healthy lives. Emotionally, many are challenged and spend years trying to heal from the abuse they endured at the hand of their parents or teachers.

Last edited by kellideister; 04/21/08 11:56 PM.
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