BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids WOAH - My mother gave it to me today!

I was on the phone today with my mom talking about her flight to Miami for my graduation and she brought up the fact that my cousin just became a father. My response was, "Sucks to be him". She asked me what I meant by that and I said, "I'm never havin' kids mom youre gonna have to wait for Shantel" (my younger sister).

What she said to me next came out of left field, I had no idea this was coming. My mom said: "DONT TELL ME YOURE GAY! Thats something gay guys say before they come out of the closet. Youre my only son, whats going to happen to your fathers name? It'll die with you. Why are you thinking about kids anyway, youre only 22?"

I was like, "Um, uh", I had no idea what to say. Then I realized this was the first time she's heard me say this. I eventually responded and said "Mom you know I'm not gay and I'm thinking about kids because I'm looking into the future."

WTF?!!

Hi thedopespot,

Honestly try not to let it get to you too much. My parents said the same thing to me, except I am a girl and they told me that I am denying my husband of being a real man by not having kids. Boy that [censored] my husband off. She is just reacting normally because she is trying to get used to the idea of no grandchildren. I do not know if this was the first time you mentioned this to her, but give her time. I hear parents stop harrassing kids about children when they hit 40!!!
Sending hugs and sympathy your way.....

oh i almost forgot, you can use the gay thing if you absolutely want her off of your back. Use as a last resort. I may use that on my parents one day...:)

Yeah, I do think they let up with time. My parents said they always could tell I didn't want kids...no interest.

As far as the family name.....I don't know why people say that. I don't know what your last name is but I am sure you guys are not the only ones with that last name in this country...so who cares. And if all of you died..gosh forbid!! then what the hell??? And what if you were gay? What would she say then? Parents can't hold their future up in their kids...we have to be who we are.

Good luck to you...I am wondering if she will want to continue the converstation when she sees you in person??

Unfortunately, the most unreasonable people in life seem to be family, since there is so much emotion tied up in those relationships.

Still, I'd like to know how your mom correlates responsible intelligence (not having kids) to being gay. I mean, it's a compliment to homosexuals and all, but I think heterosexuals are capable of intelligence, too.

I have heard of gay couples adopting kids cos they wanted to be parents.
BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Here's the point:

It is against the laws of nature and man for a person to be gay.
It is against the laws of nature and man for a couple to not want to have kids.
It...just....isn't...done! It...is...just...wrong! That stuff happens to OTHER people's children! It can't happen to MY child!

(according to the norms of society)

Remember, we are not dealing with intelligence as a factor -- we are dealing with "the herd" -- ie non-thinking people.

I'm sorry this happened, but this happens when you are in the minority of society. It doesn't stop the shock and surprise when it happens.

I am so sorry your mother made an assumtion about your life choice. It does not mean you have any preference. It is your choice what you do, And Good for you that you had the courage to be truthful!

God Bless you!

thedopespot,

WOW! I'm sorry she reacted like that. I wish I had something brilliant to say. I hate confrontation, so I'd probably just not bring it up any more unless she does. So many men get married later in life and have kids late in life, you'll probably not get too much flack while you're a single guy, anyway.

Like Duane said, it's not the norm. Most people are not comfortable when you want something other than the norm--especially your parents.

Let us know if she brings it up again.

Take care

Oh jeez! I've never heard that one before. I wonder if it would be worse for her to admit to herself that you are gay, or that you don't want children! :-)

Either way, it's YOUR LIFE.

But moms do tend to be a bit irrational...

Kim

Kim Kenney
MNK Editor