BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement bereavement

Welcome, Phyllis, NatAmEd. You bring up an excellent point - laughter. There is an old notion that laughter is disrespectful. When I officiate at funerals and wakes, I work to get the family talking and laughing. I can still see the face of one old Auntie that was so angry at people telling warm and funny stories, and at me for starting it. Sure enough, a story came up that involved her. Well, the old girl cracked, and a smile played at her lips. Then she got all flustered, which made people laugh even harder. Eventually, Auntie et al laughed til tears rolled down their cheeks. As Joni Mitchell sang, "Laughing and crying, you know it's the same release". And later I got a big hug from Auntie.
I try to live my life to give people plenty to laugh about. (which then freaks them out when they hear the topic i edit!)

Thank you, Jaclin. Yes, both tears and laughter are a necessary part of grieving. One cannot remember our beloved brother without also thinking of the laughter and joy he gave us in his lifetime. Does that mean we never cry - not by a long shot! We cry and we cry hard at times, but every time we think of something he did that was funny and we start laughing so hard, I believe that is Brother's way of sending us a message to go on with life because we retain the love and memories in our hearts.