BTW - the link is working fine now!
to breastfeed all 3 of my children. I was able to for about 6 months with my first, then my milk just wouldn't produce much for some reason (and I had pretty much my entire family against me and trying to sabotage me which didn't help). So I finally had to switch over to formula.
My daughter (2nd child) I was able to nurse a full year, and it was wonderful. I felt so close to her (and got all sorts of lovely comments from my family - but I was older, more experienced, and had a tougher skin).
My last child was born about a month preemie, and had to be kept in the NICU - and the hospital very much encouraged pumping of breastmilk, and then nursing once he was strong enough. But I went 2 full days without seeing him to begin with, and had full-fledged PPD set in, so it was very hard getting my milk to start. It finally did and I tried to nurse as best I could, but my health problems were severe after his birth. My "pre-eclampsia" did not go away with birth (which happens occasionally I found out), and my kidneys started shutting down. I was on several medications - and these made him sick as well.
Add in a screaming case of thrush (his mouth and my breasts) and we finally had to switch over to formula.
I felt horrible. I felt guilty and like a bad mother that cousln't take care of my baby. But once I got through those feelings, and started on treatment for the depression; I realized that my baby was wonderful!
He was actually the easiest-going baby I had. When I had ben nursing him, because if the meds - he had horrible colic and was unhappy and uncomfortable. But when we switched, this baby hardly ever fussed - and he stayed that way - he's still my happiest kid (he's 5 now).
So I really loved the nursing, and I missed like crazy that I couldn't do it with my last (and we knew he would be our last - can't have any more). But it was much better to have a snuggly happy baby on formula than a colicky, fussy one on breastmilk. And I just found different excuses to cuddle with him as much as I did my daughter whom I nursed, and my first (who I was just scared to put down, LOL!)