BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Deafness 10 commandments of dealing with hearing impaired

I have many funny things happen to me because of my hearing loss, and its all from not hearing the correct words, I can really stir up things. most things i can laugh about because what i hear most times has nothing to do with whats been said. I can cause a lot of confusion at times. I do get my feathers ruffled when i will tell people i can not hear them and they look like at me like there discussed because they have to repeat them selves, And they do it in the same tone of voice, so once again i have to say I can't hear you.! I try to avoid people because of my hearing lost ;o(

It is a shame you try to avoid people because of your hearing loss. But.... it is a common thing for us. I know I became isolated because I couldn't hear, because I got bored and I found many people downright rude. Recently when we were in the UK in Stonehenge I watched a lady take photos of her husband and baby. She then turned away. I turned around to take photos of the stones and then walked away. A short time later my husband wanted to take a picture of me with the stones in the background so I turned to face him. This lady I had seen before moved into the photo. My husband beckoned me to move aside a bit, so I did and she moved with me. This happened a couple of times until we asked why and she said "Well your wife did it to me!" I hadn't even know I had done it. Apparently she had spoken to me but even with my implant, with my back turned in a high noise environment there is no way I would have known. I got really upset because she didn't even consider I might not hear her and was very rude.

My son and I watch The Amazing Race regularly and have enjoyed the Mother/Son team of Margie and Luke progressing through the competition. I know that they edit the show and may have made one episode more dramatic by emphasizing a conflict between Margie and Luke and another team, but I found the episode two weeks ago showed a great lack of awareness about disability etiquette. And the comments about that show written by viewers took things a step or two further.

From Terri Mauro's blog:
Defending The Amazing Race's Margie and Luke

Did anyone else see the episode in question? A gal on another team laughed when Luke was signing, and the host explained at the end that he was satisfied that she was not laughing to insult him for signing. I was mildly annoyed about the incidents until I read comments from other viewers, and now feel really steamed.

I have been told to both 'toughen up' and to 'lighten up' about this type of thing for years. Apparently there's no chance of that happening. Am I the *only* crab apple?

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Signing, Reading and Spelling for Communication

It is unfortunate that there is a lack of understanding about deafness and signing. I don't watch the show (and was away from home in any case)so I didn't see the episode you mention. Deafness seems to be the 'poor relation' in disabilities and it is such a shame because it impacts on our lives horrendously.

I think you can watch episodes and specific scenes of The Amazing Race at CBS online. We have the conestoga version of being online so video takes longer than a sequoia growing to 100 feet.


It is often assumed among advocates for individuals with developmental disabilities that intellectual disabilities are the 'poor relation' section of the hierarchy.

I did read that people with disabilities would rather reveal a diagnosis than to let people know they are poor, so poverty is probably still the 'poor relation' in any hierarchy.

My daughter and son's high school offered sign language classes where Deaf culture was featured in the curriculum, but ignorance about improvements in living in the world as a deaf person does seem rampant otherwise.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Universal Design - Canadian Association for the Deaf

CHAA guidelines and best practices in Universal Design - English and French

The Disability Hierarchy, Equity and Advocacy

Thanks Pam. I hope my site helps improve the ignorance :-)

Yes! Your site, and the discussion here ~ so much depends on reliable information, support, and person-to-person contact.

Pam W
SE of Seattle

Thanks Pam - I was pleased to see that my site is linked to Western Oregon University -BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

[quote=Felicity Deafness]Thanks Suzi Your comments about talking with or taking someone to help them through the mine field of hearing aid issues is very valid. It surprises me that people, in this day and age, still think that a deaf person can put on a hearing aid and suddenly hear everything. As you say it takes a lot of visits and help to get the best you possibly can from a hearing aid and of course if your hearing is deteriorating then you need to continue to have them adjusted.[/quote] Goodness, you are SOOO right. I have actually been accused of having "respect of hearing;" in other words, I hear what i want to hear when I want to hear it. I have a 65% hearing loss in my right ear and a 35% hearing loss in my left one, and they tell me I have respect of hearing! Even when I put on my hearing aids, I still have to remind people to speak facing me and to speak clearly. My dad actually said to me once, "Aren't those things working?" Well, he wears glasses, so I looked him squarely in the face and told him, "Wow, you must have super X-Ray vision with those glasses, huh?" Imagine his repsonse: he immediately be quiet and never asked me that question again. LOL.

First of all, I would like to say whoever start this forum, THANK YOU THANK YOu THANK YOU!! I'm a 25-year old beautiful, intelligent female who have moderately severe hearing loss in both ears (65% loss in right ear; 45% in left). I've been like this since I was born and have endured some high teasing from people who thought that I was deaf and dumb. I was a straight honor student in high school, graduated valedictorian from the community college that I attended, magna cum laude from the university that I attend and currently have a 3.4 GPA in the grad school I'm attending. I am currently in the workforce (been at the same job for two years). Everyone I work with has perfect hearing. Even with my hearing aids, I can hear okay, but it's not PERFECT, as some would expect. Well, for some ODD reason, the only working hearing aid that I have has gone out, and now I'm feeling insecure. I called my pastor for spirtual counseling; he was very understanding. He built me up. I go through sometimes with my hearing impairment; sometimes I cry and question God why did He make me like this? But then I remember, He made me in His image, I'm special, one of a kind, top of the line. He doesn't make mistakes. Sometimes, I want to shout and say, Jesus Christ, I'm not perfect. I have a hearing impairment; I"m not dumb, I'm not stupid, and I have some common sense. By the Way, I love the ten commandments and pointers flyers. I'm going to pass them out to the people at work.