BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage insensitive comments

Hi, new here. I just miscarried about two weeks ago and for the most part I feel numb. My husband complains that I don't seem like i care, which was hurtful. The worst thing so far that has happened to me is that people i told i was pregnant, told many people too. As such, i have people coming to me congratulating me and it hurts worse than everything else i have been through. I can't go anywhere without someone coming and congratulating me! I was at a girls only get together, which i thought would be good since i hadn't been out of the house in about two weeks. Everyone there knew, but a friend of a friend showed up and congratulated me loudly in front of everyone. Even though we were all ignoring the big purple elephant, i was having fun and that went right out the window for the rest of the nite. The next day i finally got out bed about 1:30 in the afternoon (unusual for me). I know the girl didn't know any better but my friend who told her was there and i can't help but wonder why the friend that told her, didn't tell her the bad news!!! Very upsetting and insensitive!

The response to this would be, "Yes, but it won't be THIS child."

That tends to shut them up pretty quick.

I've had several miscarriages... finally I did have a daughter, and now am pregnant with a second child. It's been a struggle each time.

After my daughter, I suffered not so much insensitive remarks, that I can remember, just the company of insensitive people in general. I was doing volunteer work for several organizations, and one that had to do with working with children more or less dumped me because I was going through a hard time... I'm happy they did show their true colors, in the end.

This stuff is hard for other people to understand... lots of women don't even know they're pregnant when they miscarry, for that matter. Some of us are more sensitive to these things than others.

I guess it's all relative... but one could hardly be "glad" you lost him now rather than later!

I had a D & C the day after Thanksgiving after 3 weeks of having to go back to the doctors to make sure the baby had stopped growing. When I told my family, my sister in law kept saying "It's a blessing in disguise." She meant well, and I do believe that things work themselves out in the end, but that was the last thing I wanted to hear. It sucked, and none of that cliche [censored] makes anybody feel better.

I was told by the docotr that they may have to remove "the products of conception." Every time they mentioned my baby they called her that. I was so hurt and devastated.

Mine came from the father after I got hom from the ER. I was crying a lot, and in the midst of my depression and self hate over my body's failure he said "This totally spoils the memory of my first Atmosphere concert." Yeah it is his favorite band, but I can't help the fact that it happened the exact time he was at the concert. I never spoke to him again. *hugs to everyone* People should learn to not make jokes, rude comments (honest or not) during a emotionally devestating time as a miscarriage can be.

Newbies, just want to welcome yous to the forum, We hope that you enjoy your stay. And were very sorry for your loss
Rosie

Hi everyone I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and am devastated. I've had: 1) Well, you can always have another one 2) At least you've already got children 3) At least you know you can get pregnant 4) You just need to try and get over it now (the next day!) 5) It was probably just as well And these comments were all from family. I can't even rely on the ones I needed most to support me! I'd be interested in finding out when others who'd experienced miscarriage started to "feel better" (so to speak). I'm finding it very hard to cope with.

Well I had several of the same that were mention above, but to Fayebelina ballerina, it took me months to realize that I "felt better." Each day that passes it will hurt a little less and less, and no matter what anyone says YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT. You will never "get over it" or "fully heal." But the days will get easier. For me, it took about a month before I wanted to do anything that I didn't have to. It took a year before I spent a day without thinking about it. It sounds wierd, but now I can even smile about it what my little Gabriel might have been. It has been a year and a half. Does this help any?