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I think the most frustration I heard after my miscarriage a week ago when I was 10 weeks and had gotten back from a cruise was from my OBGYN financial dept. The girl was telling me that I did not suffer a financial loss....and was arguing with me about it. And when I asked her if she had any children she said no and that she didn't have to disclose her medical history to me.

The other one was talking to my health insurance CS and them trying to explain to me that my ER visit was not considered an accident...that this miscarriage was somehow meant to be.

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Oh my God!! What kind of an insensitive clod would tell a woman that her miscarriage was"meant to be"? Don't get me wrong, she's entitled to her opinion, but there's a time and a place and that certainly wasn't either.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've been trying to have a child for about 2 years on and off and i'm about to have some tests done to see what the holdup is.
May the healing powers of the universe always be with you.There are some more caring practioners out there,don't let her ill-timed comments sway you from getting better care elsewhere.

peace and love, always

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I think something the world needs to know about miscarriage is that just because (if) a woman manages to have another child later on, it doesn't mean she automatically forgets about the baby she lost before! Even after the other child is born. The lost child is always with her - wondering about lost birthdays, lost Christmases - that he'd be the big brother of the one that is here, etc.

Everyone else seems to forget about "the other one". <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Michelle Taylor
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The world needs to know that miscarriage is a hard thing to "get over." I do not understand how you can get over losing a kid. I was a month along. I told friends that I thought I was pregnant. The guy I was with totally ignored me and treated me like [censored] when I told him I was. A month later after the stressful times and worry I had a miscarriage and just blocked it out. Then my friend had an abortion and I was devistated. I talked to her about what happened. I didn't even go to the doctors and she told me that yes I did have a miscarriage. I was so upset. The world needs to relaize that miscarriage is so hard to get over. Months later and I am still suffering over the loss of my baby. People should not expect you to just move on. You lost your flesh and blood. People need to be a little more understanding and talk about it more. I am so glad I found this site cause I was struggling with it all alone, or so I thought. Thank you for this!!! I am glad to have people to talk to about my pain!!


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Dr.Seuss once said "a person is a person no matter how small."

You never forget, you never stop wondering what could have been and you never quite know how to answer the question of how many children do you have?

Jonathan [09-11-1990] Missed baby @ 20 weeks Molar pregnancy
Jacob [10-22-1992] Born still @ 38 weeks Cord Strangulation
Rachal [12-09-1993] Earth Angel currently 12 years old
Evan [02-05-1998] Earth Angel currently 8 years old


Have a blessed day-

Erika Lyn Smith
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i've been tru 2 miscarriages in 3 mnths. And my mom has been more worried about her in laws and my husband told just to get over it. I can recall the exact time that i miscarried and the night. And that was about 3 weeks ago and i was about 7-8 weeks preggo and the one befor ethat was 6 weeks and the back in 2001 was about 6 weeks almost 7. In 2001 my aunt(shes had 3 healthy girls and no miscarriges) told me you can have another and im like i dont want another i want that one. and on my third the dr told me well at least she is up in heaven with god. My thught was i dont wnat her up there i wnat her with me. So i guess you can say i've been oing thru this in secret, bc my husband dont wanna talk baout it. So im suffering alone
with no help from no one. What the world needs to know tis that women whose had a miscarriage just need a hug and a willing ear and shoulder to listen and a cry on.


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In my Mother's house there are many
Rooms.
Brain and womb
Heart-my tomb. It rains
Cells in bundles-rearranged
In meaning no more
No less than skin or nails
Complex in form and
Animation.
Tiny daughter. My soul's salvation.

Know you were not cast aside
I did not conjure-or abide
With carelessness-how you could
Hide! Could I but know
Your peace. My soul-at last
Would rest-released.

Three times I failed, though
Did not try, and each cost me
Some pieces more. I pray that
You embrace the sky and live
On moonglow-evermore.

I have miscarried three times. I never wanted to get pregnant, yet each is a loss I cannot describe (this may be hard to hear when you have desperately wanted to conceive-but I must be honest). I worte this last week, after miscarrying at 9 weeks. There's no way to explain how we feel, is there? It's such a mystery of magic and life. I am a biochemist by training, so I tend to think in terms of cells and molecules, but no training prepares us for the greatest mystery of all-to create life and loose it. My love is with you all-and I pray for those of you who seek to have children, that you are gifted with them. There is a small blessing for me in having been pregnant though- for while I lost lives, I saw-however briefly-into the unknown.
Nicole K.

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Let me first say I am very sorry for your losses. My opinion may not matter much, because I myself haver never had a miscarriage but my daughter just lost her first baby on the 27th, and I have been reading these forums to find a way to help her cope. I am truly shocked at the things people say to my daughter as well as reading the postings here. Ignorance seems abundant. I am devastated hurt and angry. I went to both sonos where we were told everything is GREAT baby was dancing around. within three weeks that precious life was gone. I cant get the visuals out of my head, so I can only imagine the horror my daughter endures. As for what the world needs to know about miscarriages is that the medical world needs to catch up. They are all about fertility, they can tell which embryo on a petre dish will have a problem, but cant tell my daughter or any other woman why they miscarried. The standard reason doesnt make sense. I truly find it disturbing that Doctors see this so much they call it a norm, and say no one knows. Well I think its about time someone figured it out. I wish they would all get on the same page as to when its ok to try again she gets a diff opinion from each doctor, she is anxious to try yet scared to death at the same time.

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(((((((HUGE HUG))))) sorry for your loss but even more sorry that those people closest to you are not able or willing to walk with you through the stages of grief..

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I am not even a week after mine but if one more person says well you can at least get pregnant and you can do this again.. it makes me so mad.. yeah I can get pregnant which we didn't think would ever happen.. but having another one isn't going to replace this one.. I am diabetic and if one more person blames that was the reason I am going to flip out.. all of my drs said that.. my diabetes did not cause this I am in great controll it just all hurts so very bad.. sometimes I wish people would just shut up if they have no idea what they are saying..


Melanie mom to an angel baby 1/9/08
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