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"I am not an incubator"

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Awesome article, Stef! Welcome to the board!

I love this article. I am engaged and people are astounded that I'm not jumping at the chance to bear my fiance's child. They make it seem like he'll leave me if I don't 'give' him a child. I've even heard people say that it would be 'the best way to show him my love.'

Yeah right! If I want to show my love, I'll get him Super Bowl tickets.

I want a t-shirt that says "I choose not to use my uterus."

Yeah, that is a good one. Thanks for sharing.

just b/c i have one doesn't mean i have to use it! i just don't understand why other people feel like they can put in their two cents in where it's not wanted. i mean when people tell me that they have kids, are expecting, or want them i don't pound them with questions : like why did you decide to/want to have kids?i mean i have better things to do with my time than worry about what other people are doing! don't these instrusive people have anything better to do? it's just a pet peeve of mine and it's not only on the CF issue.it's also annoying to me when "so called christians" keep harping on other people's lives.i feel like asking them if they have nothing better to do than worry about other people! if more people worried more about themselves than what everyone else is doing than i think the world would be a much more accepting, tolerant, and happy place.

i feel like b/c i don't have kids that i have more time to give to other people's children which actually helps them out. for ex.) yesterday my contractor was over installing our bay window(which we have wanted for 2 yrs. now,it looks gorgeous!)and his son was over. well obviously the guy didn't have time to entertain his son so my hubby and i did so guy could finish.if i had my own kids i'm sure it would have been a little more of a challege. i didn't mind , his son is cute but i was thinking after about 1/2 hr. that i couldn't imagine having to do that everyday!

indigo

my SO gave his mom The Talk (she pesters him about grandkids, sometimes in front of me, and I finally told him she had to STOP IT)

Had I had that T-shirt all along, we could have all saved some breath!

Stef: Welcome to the group and thanks for posting that great article.

Some comebacks from a happy NON-FATHER
to people like my father, my oldest brother, my former busy body neighbor and former nosy colleagues/co-workers.

1) from my dad: What if you meet a woman that wants a family?
Me: I don't care if she is a supermodel who can jump 100 foot cliffs on skis and stick the landing perfectly or ride the 48 switchback Stelvio pass six times in a day. Here are a couple photos of the Stelvio BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

That's hilarious! I mean, not that your Mom had an H or your Dad broke his pelvis, but your delivery is hysterical.

Refreshing to hear from a man who has applied his mind to the issue. It always seemed to me that men either wanted kids or were flexible - if their partners wanted kids then they went along with it. I think also, men often end up fathers and then wonder how it happened - my brother dated a single mother with 3 kids and no child support for 3 months - on the 3rd month she announced she was pregnant! His life is now an utter mess - it breaks my heart.
I think the fact you have taken steps is sensible and responsible - I'm sure my brother now regrets leaving the contraception up to his girlfriend - yet so many men do just that - you are at the mercy of a woman who doesn't really care whether she gets pregnant or even worse, one with an agenda. So many men delay commitment, marriage etc. these days and sadly, some women make foolish and desperate decisions - make a baby and he might marry me or at least he'll have to pay child support for 18 years. Sadly, I've seen it quite a few times.
Really enjoyed reading your post.