BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting "Entitlement" Adult Stepson

My adult step son hasn't talked to me or my husband for over a year (even after repeated attempts to communicate) right after we took our family of 5 (including him and his 2 sisters) on a great and expensive family vacation. The entire family had a great time as evidenced by "happy faces" on pictures. He stop talking to us right after the trip. When confronted, he repeatedly ignored the problem and stated something philosophical like "things are not always how you portray them". WE have consistently asked why and asked to work it out. Then, after months and before another family trip, he announced that everything was okay and that he would come with us (of course at our expense) and work it out at the family event. We said no. Not appropriate. Months and months went by again. Now, he is demanding that we forgive and forget, without even knowing what the problem is, and refuses to even talk about it or solve it. We have had repeated "control" problems with him in the past which we have always consistently shut down. How do we move on without risking his future controlling behavior?

He sounds passive agressive, just refuse to play his game. He is getting something out of his behavior, whether its feeling like a marytr or what, he goes this for a reason.

Personally, I would sit down with my husband decide what the criteria your willing to accept from this step son. Lets say you decided that you are not willing to continue until he sits down and has an honest open conversation about what was and still might be troubling him. If you think it might help, involve a family therapist. Tell him, these are your terms, they are not negotiable period. Let him know the reason, you need to have peace and stability in your family and if he is going to be part of the family then this has to be dealt with.

I can't stand people who are controlling and manipulative, just don't play their game. What they want is to be able to treat you like [censored] and there be no reprecussions for it. Thats not the real world.