BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Good comebacks that are not TOO nasty?!

I think this is something some of us could really do with!
Whether it's people asking about having kids or trying to tell us how to run OTHER areas of our lives!
I can think of some but I'd LOVE to hear YOURS! Ones that are not TOO nasty, if you want someone to get the point but not to put their nose out of joint TOO much! Some of the less nice ones could be said with a smile?!

When are you going to have kids?
When are you going to start minding your own business?

When are you going to have kids?
You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?

Why don't you want kids?
Why don't YOU want to mind your own business?

You should have kids/dress differently..whatever
I hope ONE day I can work with/live with/have friends who don't feel the need to tell me how to run MY life!

Why don't you want kids?
Cos you're such a great parent, I'd only wind up being jealous!

Having kids is the greatest thing in my life
Yes, OK so having kids is the greatest thing in YOUR life.

When are you going to have kids/why don't you want kids?
Shocked look or whithering look.

When are you going to have kids?
WHAT?!

When are you going to have kids?
AH, so you want to know about my SEX life now, DO you?
(Esp. good one for prudes!)

So, let's here some from you!!

My favorite is still a quote from Sarah Silverman, compliments of someone who posts here often:

"When are you going to have kids?"
"When I get tired of all this freedom."

Ooh I LOVE it!
Or When I run out of other things to do.
(Or other things I want to do)

I saw this on Unscripted Life and I just LOVE it:
"..One way to curtail such a conversation is to say �I wonder why my choices are so important to you? Do you think you may be projecting your own issues or insecurities on me? I�m very happy with who I am, but you don�t seem to be able to accept that. I find that strange.� (Polite, but strong language....

I�ve only used it once, with a very persistant �must breed� person. Shut them up very quickly! Puts the problem right where it is � with them!.."

Hmm wonder if it would work for me!
I think I'd shorten it to: "I wonder why my choices are so important to you. I�m very happy with who I am, but you don�t seem to be able to accept that. I find that strange.�

Hey gang?

What's the comeback for "You would make SUCH an incredible mother...I know you. You're intelligent, you know how to discipline, good background...I know you'd be great at it."
Help me out here, I got a live one after me and just won't quit.

How about this? "That's one theory I don't want to test?"

Or you could go into a list of your bad habits or a list of things you enjoy that parenthood would take away (lazy evenings and weekends could play a part in this response).

And for the "When" questions: "Don't hold your breath. I hate going to funerals." (That's one of those that you might want to say with a smile to take the edge off.)

I'd say - "I am an incredible mother. My cat loves me!!"

When we were younger, to DH's very confirmed bachelor cousin:

"When you get married, we'll have kids."

That worked for a LONG time (10+ years). However, now this guy is engaged. So it's changed to:

"Yeah, we're breaking our end of the bargain. Deal with it."

Fortunately I really don't have any friends with children other than my cousin. So when anyone asks me when I'm going to have kids, I just shoot back, "When are YOU going to have kids?" This gets them talking about themselves and not me. Maybe this would work with anyone even if they already have kids... make them explain why they aren't having kids or more kids right now.

And my cousin... she used to bug me about having kids first. I'm a little older, a lot more stable, and she had fertility issues (though apparently not as much as she thought, because she got pregnant unassisted)... I couldn't help but think "That's what you get for wishing children on me"... fortunately she wanted a baby, so it's a good thing for her.

How about this?

"My tolerance for kids ends when I leave this building/walk through the front door of my house/apartment/whatever" ?

What's the comeback for "You would make SUCH an incredible mother...I know you. You're intelligent, you know how to discipline, good background...I know you'd be great at it."

Also (which I sometimes say) "I like kids but I also like to give them back at the end of the day!"

I had one of the women at work tell me the same thing after my border collie had cruciate surgery. Skylar was in the office with me for about 8 weeks doing the rehab thing. I'd carry her up and down the stairs, put ice packs and heat packs on her leg, and do her physio. My staffer would watch me do all this and say "you'd make a great mother".

My reply was "One important difference. I LIKE my dog".

Believe it or not, I got this one last week. From a 45-year-old single career woman I have contracted to do PR for me which is kind of weird! She said "ooooh, but you'd make such a good mother". I (bouyed up from recently finding this forum) said "So would you" (the tone was important, which I can't impart here - it was kind of yeah, yeah, but so would you). Then she said "But you're so caring and loving with people". So I came straight back with "that's because I don't have children!" Accompanied by a cheeky smile. Then I changed the subject.

I would be good at it if I wanted to do it. I'm good at things that interest me and that I feel passionate about. OR

But I'm good at so many other things. Do you expect me to give them up? OR

There are a million other things I would rather do with my partner. Thanks for thinking of me, though.

Happy, I LOVE the "thanks for thinking of me" comment at the end! That is a great way to end prying minds who insist on asking such personal questions.

This thread might be a candidate for being stickied on the front page, perhaps.

One of my bosses isn't married and doesn't have children. I thought maybe she was CF because she was saying once that she could never handle having a kid. Then a few weeks ago she asked me when I'm having kids. I said I didn't want them. She told me I'm young and I still have plenty of time to change my mind! Then she told me that she's too old now and doesn't have the energy for kids. I think she's in her early 40's and is in great shape. If she wasn't my boss I'm sure I would have come back with some kind of retort along the lines of "but you seem perfectly fit to me. I'm sure you could handle it. Maybe you should think about it."

It's almost like the conversation can't end with someone saying they don't want kids. It's an unsatisfactory ending, so they have to say something counter it. It's like when someone says they feel fat, often times people feel compelled to tell the person they look fine. But I don't know why not wanting kids falls into the same category.

It's like an automatic response, like when someone sneezes. But over time, hopefully people will be reconditioned and actually think before they speak. And, better yet, think about whether parenting is all it is hyped to be.

You know, the more I think about it, I do deal with this stuff at work. A little while ago, one of my coworkers who is in her late 40s was telling me about how she has had a hysterectomy, and that she never wanted children anyway. Which I thought was cool, right.

So then a few weeks later we were talking and I made a comment about strollers. And she laughed and said "I guess you aren't having kids." And I agreed. But then she started laughing hysterically, and said, I hope you don't mind that I'm laughing. I can't explain it, but it was clear that she wasn't entirely laughing with me. I can't put my finger on it. Why is it okay for other people not to have them, and for us it isn't? True, she's single, but she also made it clear she never wanted kids.

And my other cousin, that is CF, and has been married for ten years and I were talking about having kids. She said she and hubby didn't want them, etc., but said would love it if they had one, or something like that. And I said we are making sure that doesn't happen. And she looked really mad or judgemental. I felt like saying, you're right, I should just leave it up to fate, and let myself get pregnant with a baby I don't want. It was like somehow her and her husband not getting fixed made her better than me in the land of childfree. Whatever!!!

Happy, what your cousin said is very confusing. She and her husband don't want kids, but they are leaving it up to fate to determine whether they get pregnant? Sounds like they kind of do want kids! Sounds like she's more "pre-parent" than true CF, actually!

Not long ago an openly gay male coworker who can't stand kids asked me "So you're married now, when are you having kids?" I told him "As soon as you do!" He seemed surprised that I wasn't itching to get pregnant right away, or ever.

Cindy

I know, but I know for sure she doesn't want them. I think she was just saying *if* it happened, that's what she would do. She was telling me she and her husband are "selfish with their time," etc. I'm sure they are using regular bc, but she seemed to find the idea of permanent protection offputting.

I love that you said that to your coworker! Hilarious! I mentioned in another post that my fiance's gay uncle was going off on how no one wants to stay home anymore (with the kids). And I went off on him. I don't see him volunteering to do it, but he thinks women should know their role and adopt it. Coming from someone that doesn't know how to do any traditionally male tasks. Whatever! Gender roles work both ways! If women need to strap on an apron, I guess he should strap on a set.

Maybe, "I'd rather off myself than reproduce. The result is the same - a woman's life is over when she has kids." I know, it's pretty hardcore, but true.

That's actually my long standing comeback line when someone is particularly nosey or rude, or it's someone I'll never see again. "I'd rather slash my wrists with something blunt".

It tends to stop the questioning dead in its tracks.

I'm BITCHY today. We're having a work BBQ, and the boss's daughter, who is on maternity leave from the company, has invited herself along, and bought her 3 yo and screaming 6 month old along with her. The baby hasn't shut up wailing in reception for the last half hour. It's driving me NUTS.

My partner and I have one comment that we both use when faced with "When are you two having kids?"

We're not. We like nice things. (Which has the double meaning that we can afford them because we don't have children and they don't get broken because we don't have children)

If people continue, it gets back to some of these (the usage of which depends on my general like or dislike of the person and amount of respect I have for them):

- What's your sex life like? (shocked look) Oh, my mistake, I thought it was the time for inappropriate questions
- Why, are you looking forward to raising it?
- Good grief, do we look like we have nothing better to do?
- Why the sudden interest in my ovaries? Would you like to hear about the cyst on the left one?

Then there's the one, "But you'd make a great mother"
- I'm sure I would, just as I'm sure I'd make a great CIA spy. However, some things just aren't going to happen in this lifetime.

I just love it! Such a great way to round it off!

I had lunch recently with a gay work contact. I have recently got married. I don't know him THAT well but we have started to commence a kind of a friendship that might move outside work. He said "so, I suppose you're going to start having a family now". I said "Well, I'm 41 now, M, so it's not a given." He blushed and the subject changed. I truly think deep down he was asking me because he probably HOPED I wasn't going to be another person in his life who is having children, as he is gay and currently single. He had a sort of mournful tone when he asked. I also think he presumed I was early to mid 30's because I look younger for my age. So I forgave him

When I was first married, I was like 22 years old and my husband was 30. People would ask us when we were going to have children. I finally got sick of being nice and would just tell them "I'm not in the habit of discussing such intimate topics with the public at large". This usually made them feel badly enough that they stopped and NEVER asked again

That is just brilliant. After a while you do get tired of being nice. That is a great comeback that I am going to have up my sleeve. If said gently, it could really make people feel bad.

I find myself wanting to ask people if they are going to have children ... because sometimes I hope they don't! I haven't actually asked anyone because I hate it when people ask me.

Yes...I think most of us don't ask that question to people because we are sensitive about how it feels...and it IS a very personal question, and we respect that! I don't ask people that unless they've just asked me. Then I feel it's fair.

I like the "I'm not in the habit of discussing such intimate topics with the public at large" response, for nosy strangers. But people who are friend and family would feel that they're not "the public" and so have the "right" to ask, and dig! So they need other responses.

Cindy

I find myself wanting to ask people if they are going to have children ... because sometimes I hope they don't! I haven't actually asked anyone because I hate it when people ask me.

I was just thinking idly about that myself. People ask that because it is assumed that it is always a topic of conversation among married adults. I will never ask that question because of the following:

• I don't really care,
• I don't want to make the other person uncomfortable (like I would be), and
• I don't want my head bitten off if that person has had it up to here with that question, and I am the unfortunate recipient of that sentiment

I don't go around asking people "Did you enjoy sex with your spouse last night?" "What is your favorite position?" "Did you fake it or did you truly enjoy it?" "What contraception do you use, if any?" -- that is just plain rude, in addition to me not caring one bit what happens in the privacy of closed doors. Grrrrrr -- for American society to be so afraid of a female breast being shown publicly, people sure ask the most intimate questions of "friends"

"I find myself wanting to ask people if they are going to have children ... because sometimes I hope they don't! I haven't actually asked anyone because I hate it when people ask me."

I know, I am sometimes curious if someone is going to continue "to be around" or not. Because most people, mostly women, drop off the face of the earth when they have kids. And I think it's natural to be curious. But I refrain from asking, too, because I know how much I dread the question.

Hmm how about this one? This mother of three colleague who sometimes bingos me and gets on my nerves and yes I think is jealous of my childfree life and resentful of hers!! Well she clashes with another colleague.
This colleague doesn't have kids but we don't KNOW why. Maybe she can't.
Mother of three said "And she's fat! She's doesn't have any kids, she should be SO SKINNY!"
HELLO! SOME women - including me sigh! - have problems with their weight! Even if we DON'T have kids! I resent the implication I should look like Kate Moss just because I have no kids!
Some women have kids and seem to go back to their skinny selves. Some women have kids and get HUGE. Other women are already Huge even with NO kids. (No, I'm NOT huge! Just for the record!)
Just because SHE may have put on weight since having kids (and I don't know because I didn't know her before she had them) it doesn't mean that's the ONLY reason people do! JEEZ!

I would have LOVED to have had a good comeback to THAT one!

Thank you, Jez, for the first-time experience of spraying half-chewed lettuce at my desk. I BUSTED out laughing at the sight of "I'd rather off myself than reproduce." That's awesome.

Cindy,

In response to your post about when your openly gay coworker just assumed you'd be having kids b/c you're married, I can totally relate. I know several gay people who think that just b/c DH & I are married, stable, have good jobs, etc., that we should have kids and are surprised when I say I'm not sure we're going to have kids. I don't know people get these ideas/assumptions, especially the ones who don't want kids themselves! Yikes....

I know! And this guy is one who definitely does NOT like kids, he and his partner would never be the type of gay couple who would look into adoption or surrogacy because they wanted a kid. They enjoy the finer things in life, they love to travel, buy nice cars, remodel their house, upper end photography....every time they go on a trip, he comes back with stories about children in inappropriate places! LOL! But they just assume that straight couples are just going to automatically have kids, go figure!

Cindy

Angela: I'm glad you liked my comment. If it made you laugh, maybe I could start using it? Maybe we all need to have more of a sense of humor about all of this. I'm sick of getting upset about being asked "the question."

Cindy: It really annoys me when gays assume hetero = parent. If they can shirk their gender roles, why do we have to abide by ours? They are more than welcome to get in the game now and have kids if they want. I know I mentioned this before, but DH2B's gay uncle has commented on how "no one wants to stay home anymore." Read "women don't want to stay home anymore." Well, yeah, can you blame them?

It's a really good thing he doesn't have kids, though. Ironically, for a gay man, he's really intolerant of everything other than someone being homosexual. Go figure. He isn't even a good uncle.

Hmm a possible comeback: "Who says I HAVE to want what you want?"

Heterosexual couples, especially married couples, are assumed by ALL people, no matter gay, straight, US or non-US, to want to have children. Just think back to your childhood -- that is what TV, society, friends, family, and everyone else beats into you.

So when a gay man asks you "When are you having children?", it is because society has programmed him to think that way.

When a young 8 year old girl asks "Why don't you have kids -- isn't it automatic when you get married?", soceity and family has programmed her.

That is why we are the odd balls, the outcasts of society, looked down upon by everyone, because we are the rebels. We are the ones who are called selfish, because we choose the choice that has always been there. It is the choice never spoken of, that you never know about, because no one tell you about it.

Parenthood is a system. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside it, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The reproductive minds of the people we are trying to avoid. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Unfortunately, no one can be told what parenthood is. You have to see it for yourself.

What is parenthood? Control. Parenthood is a reproductive desire-driven dream world built to keep us under control in order to change an adult human being into this.
(Loads upBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

HAH -- great post, Duane! Love the Matrix parallels.

These are the other Matrix quotes I didn't bring into my last message (that I really wanted to, but overlooked). Just substitute a word or two, and the experience is the same.

==================

I imagine that right now, you're feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?

You could say that.

I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate?

No.

Why not?

Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Parenthood.

Do you want to know what it is?

Yes.

Parenthood is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

What truth?

That you are a slave. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.

================

I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without adults required to be a parent. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

===========

Ok, now that that is out of my system, I can go about my day.

How about "Thanks for the compliment. Fact is, though, that those attributes would make me better at almost anything I choose to do in life. Why should parenthood go to the top of the list?"

It's not even that straightforward, anymore. A 42-year old college prof pal of mine is single, gay, and HIV-positive (but healthy). He has been going around saying things like "I'm in my early 40s now <sigh>". I eventually called him on it: "You sound like a 42-year old woman who thinks her eggs are about to go stale". He answered that a lot of gay men, particularly in and around Massachusetts, where gay marriage is legal, want the whole "breeder" (a term gays have used for ALL heteros for years) picket-fence marriage PACKAGE. As he's not even in a couple at the moment, he's finding it all a bit daunting. No helping matters is the fact that his mom, with whom he's very close, has pancreatic cancer and he's been tending to her as much as possible (he lives about 90 minutes away).

Here's an excerpt from a letter I wrote him in July:

I hope you will continue to primarily focus on the things which you know bring you joy and energy and which are helping the world (you have all of that in your work, which is more than many people could ever dream of claiming about their lives). You�re the best friend anyone could hope for. You�re a loyal, loving son. I hope you will have the wherewithal to stay away from The Script, though. You must take care of those you love and extra care of yourself, not spend even one second worrying about How You Measure Up in the brave new world that is Gay Parenthood(�). Seems like there�s an awful lot of script-reading going on in that world, too. It�s made all the worse by the fact that gays never got to put their hands on all of the ingredients of The Script until recently (they had the picket fence down pretty well, but the marriage and kid thing were missing). So now they can simultaneously be Script-Followers while also perceiving themselves as dynamic pioneers. I bet it makes them pretty tiresome at parties --- but of course, they�d be the last ones to notice.

No matter�just because it�s all conveniently written in The Script doesn�t even begin to make it right for everybody. Gay or straight, I�m of the firm belief that we�d all be a lot better off if marriage were a lot more rare and if parenthood became a sort of unusual yet respected �calling�, not the ubiquitous choice that people go to because it�s just �what ya do� in order to complete the final phase of becoming a card-carrying Grownup (see The Script[�]). What about the legions of children who are already here and don�t have a caring adult in their lives? Everyone seems so hell-bent on replicating their own DNA rather than thinking about adoption, mentoring, or tutoring. Meanwhile, the planet is fairly groaning under the weight of our thoughtless excesses. Society, children, and the environment would all be a hell of a lot better off if we burned the Script�led by someone smart, creative, and heretofore bravely resistant to stupid peer pressure (that would be you).

I've been Bingoed by more men than women, thanks to working in male-dominated fields. When they ask "Why," I tell them I don't want to be stuck home doing all the cr@p work while my husband is out having fun, which is what I almost always see happening when a couple becomes parents. They get quiet and introspective at this point, probably thinking about all the times they've done this very thing.

I like this very much and am going to use it. We have a male friend who matched my DH and I up with each other, for which we are eternally grateful. We love our friend. However, whenever I am on my own with him, he starts trying to persuade me to have children and tells me how much it has enriched his life. This is because he, at 50, has recently become father to a toddler and a baby and his wife is over 40 (therefore there should be no barrier to DH and me). But the thing is, his wife loves staying at home with the kids and actually refuses to go out to work. She's never been in the least bit a career woman and insisted on being supported the minute he married her. So he gets to go to his cool internet job every day.

I wonder what he thinks when he hassles me about kids. He knows I am passionate about my work and a leader in the arts field. Does he think I'm just going to give all that up and stay at home like his wife does?

I find his wife unbearable by the way, in her suffocating baby-obsession.... I also happen to know from his confidences in me that their marriage is dreadful. It is the children that are currently providing the common thread and distraction.

hi everyone! it's been a while since anyone has asked me about having kids so i was really taken aback when it happened over the weekend. my hubby and i were hanging out with my friend and her family and i was holding my friend's little girl. i'm her godmother and i honestly really like kids(i really like dogs as well) but i just don't want one myself. anyway, apparently if show even a little bit of a liking to children right away people assume you should have one. my friend's brother turned to me and asked me when my hubby and i were going to have one. i was really floored b/c like i said i haven't been asked in a while and i assumed since i told my friend that i dont' want kids that he already knew.i told him that we like being called aunt and uncle(that is my new response.)i thought it was pretty self-explanatory without being nasty and would cut off any further discussion. no... he then asked me what i meant by that and i said just what i said and then i turned away. i don't know why it agrivated me so much but it did.i felt a little bad after b/c he's a nice guy and i've known him as long as my friend (over 21 yrs.) it just irriated me b/c i hate feeling like i can't be "too friendly" around kids or else people just assume things. it's ridiculous. my hubby really took to one of our friends dogs this weekend but i know that he really doesnt' want one. i mean just b/c you like kids or in my hubby's case dogs doesn't mean you want or should have one! ugh!

just my pet peeve i guess.

thanks for letting me vent.

indigo

I had a few comments this weekend myself. I was at my sister's, and my nephew decided I was his designated diaper changer and yelled if anyone else suggested they change his diaper. He said "NO! She changes my diaper!" (He is almost 3 - he knows how to use the toilet but won't. Apparently the doctor said that's normal?)

And then my 1-month-old nephew spit up on my sister's friend. She was covered, baby was covered, so I took the baby and cleaned him up and got him changed.

After that my BIL started commenting on how I was SOOOO good with kids and I should really have them because I'm SOOOO good with kids! And because my nephew loves me SOOOO much!

I just said I don't want kids, I prefer to be an aunt, and left it at that. He's cool, so he just said OK.

I do love being an aunt because, for the most part, you DO get the Kodak moments!

And is it bad of me to like that my nephew screams and cries when we leave because he doesn't want us to go, but just says goodbye to his other aunt?

Nah, it just makes you feel loved!

I just saw a good one on a blog: "Good heavens, no! I learned how to prevent that a long time ago".

I know what you mean. My husband has a group of friends who would like us (newly married, each on our second marriages aged 41,me, and 49,him) to have children. Whenever we see them (every month or so) I notice a couple of the women glance down to see if I have a 'baby bump'. Anyway, one of these women has two children - both lovely - and one is a baby. I just love holding that baby on my knee and nuzzling her soft hair with my nose and just marvelling at her perfect little hands etc. That doesn't mean I need to HAVE a baby. But then of course they all look at me with 'that look' - ooooh she really should be a Mum. I feel like saying "look, guys, it's more complex than that! Don't read into things!"

I too get the "you're so good with kids, you should have one!" comment, even from people who know perfectly well that I don't want them.

Usually, when this happens I say something like, "I'm so glad you think I'm good with kids. But, actually, if I were a parent, I'd be so stressed out from the drudgery of parenthood I wouldn't enjoy being around other peoples' kids very much. It's so much fun to visit with them - and not have to worry about raising them."

This usually shuts them up.

Interestingly, when I was growing up I had a number of CF aunts who enjoyed spending with me - did art projects with me, took me out to lunch, out shopping etc. It was great. Why were they able to spend all this time with me? Because they weren't busy raising kids. My other childed relatives were so frazzled dealing with their own kids, the last thing they wanted to do was spend time with other peoples' kids.

I think CFs play an important role in kids lives, which is why I think it's crazy for people to try to convince us to have them. Just let us be the cool aunts, uncles and friends that we are!

I'm sorry, but this new let's have kids in our 40s thing really bugs me. I have insider information on this, b/c my parents are in their mid 50s with a 7-year-old in their home. They are *exhausted* all the time. I know it's a lot more common now, but you certainly aren't obligated to have kids in your 40s.

There are lots of things we enjoy in life. I like fountains, waterfalls, fishponds, beagles, marble statues, etc. But I don't need to own one, or want to own one. And heck, it's a lot easier to care for a fountain than a child. It's *so* complicated and people gloss over that. They assume everyone feels the way they do about kids, and they don't.

A quote I heard, that applies oh-too-well here:

"Just because you CAN do a thing, does not mean that you SHOULD do that thing."

Just because it is technologically possible to conceive a child into your 40s now gives the breeders even MORE harassment time for older women, especially CF women! After the "universally accepted" upper limit of the upper 30s got breeched, now they can gleefully look down on CF women until menopause.

Gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I like children - some of them i love - but I do NOT want to be a parent.
I also like dogs a great deal and I HAVE thought about having one. But I don't think I'm cut out to have another dog and put into it what a dog owner must. (Now on that I could change my mind on the kid thing no!)
I'm not comparing kids to dogs either!
I'm just saying there's a difference between liking something (or someone) and wanting them permanently in your life!
Yes I would love it only people who like and want kids had them. There IS an overlap there of course!
But just cos you like em doesn't mean you want to have your own!
Some of us like them in small doses.
Some of us like to be with them then give them back!
Some of us don't like them at all - and that's OK too!

I use this one a lot:
"I love my life why would I want to purposely ruin it"

I get the "you would make a great mom" comment a lot too. Just like a lot of you I always tell people that I am already an awesome mom to my two dogs.