Sean and I walked into one of our favorite restaurants Saturday, when the hostess greeted us with The Look.

Well, not us, him.

"Wow, you're cute," is what The Look was saying, which seems to prompt this response "Wow, should I be jealous?"

It's funny how women can pick up when another woman's acting flirty with a man. I'm assuming men can see the same in other men, but I'm not so sure; Sean was oblivious to the cute young hostess' suddenly flustered demeanor and nervous attempts at eye contact with him throughout the night.

I imagine there might be a missed connections posting on craigslist any day now:
"You walked in Saturday night and I couldn't take my eyes off you. OMG, you're so hot! I think you were with your mother or ...? "

Sean and I aren't in a committed, monogamous relationship, so there isn't any energy around that sort of thing. In fact, I like to tease him. "Should we ask her to join us in a threesome?" I'll ask him if he's mentally undressing another woman instead of me when we're out.

But I know I've been guilty of reacting poorly to other women's ogling of "my guy" in the past, and mostly it's been because of the way the guy reacted. I remember one time Rob, my former hubby, spent a good portion of a party chatting up and dancing with a pretty blonde. Not OK, and there were a few cross words about it, but he didn't get it. "I was just having fun. What's the big deal?"

One time, I had a quickie coffee date with a man I'd met at a local music club. He was tall and cute and smart, but he gave the barista The Look when we ordered, and spent most of the hour checking her out as we got to know each other better. I think I learned a lot more about him from that than anything that was coming out of his mouth!

Why do we women get angry and jealous if another woman thinks our date is hot? Shouldn't we be flattered? Or do we imagine that she'll steal him from us � although if she's able to do that, he wasn't too committed to us in the first place, was he?

We're all guilty of checking other people out when we're with a date. At what point does the line get crossed?
How do you handle it if you think he's crossed that line?
Is it disrespectful?
And if it bothers us a lot, does it say more about him or us (as in our own insecurities)?

Read all my stuff at Kat Wilder's My So-Called Midlife