BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage I got married because...

Well, I love when she stops me from doing a blunder, I love when I actually succeed getting away from the mistake I am about to commit.

Actually it is always seen that the person on the other side see mistakes better than I see. So, it is better that someone stops me from committing mistakes.

Is this something new to you?

Very new and not something of which my husband and I approve. It is the word control to which I object. It seems archaic.

I could not believe what I just read. That someone still thinks "control" belongs in a relationship. Thank heavens I found someone who believes like I do that "partnership" belongs not "control". Wow, that statement still has me speechless.

Many thanks, Reddraken!!

Yeah, I think the word 'control' is what is tripping us up. 'Complimenting' sounds more appropriate to describe when a spouse advises you from making a mistake.
To me, it would be a difference between these two situations:

Wife: "I would like to buy this purse."
Husband: "No, I won't let you."

or

Wife: "I would like to buy this purse."
Husband: "Gee, hon, you just bought a new purse last month, and I thought we were going to start saving money for a while."
Wife: "Good point, I don't need this purse now."

I can't tell you how many times the latter has happened to hubby and I, on both sides. But never the former.

Thanks Rogue!

The word control conjures up images of one person being commanded. My husband and I personally find the word unacceptable and I truly believe it is detrimental to any marriage.

Don't you people really trying to get your ideas put forth if you think they are really right?? What if you see your husband is drinking too much and he is probably doing that a little too much, you will still not try to tell him, "buddy you are doing a little too much!!!" is that not called controlling?

No, it is not. Control is dictatorial.

"What if you see your husband is drinking too much and he is probably doing that a little too much, you will still not try to tell him, "buddy you are doing a little too much!!!" is that not called controlling?"

No, that's called caring. Those kinds of conversations take place with friends, too. "Buddy, you need to cut back on (fill in the blank)" is something anyone would say to anyone they cared about. There is a big difference between control and concern.