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Re: Health Question [Re: Encore DT] #326482
07/03/07 06:56 PM
07/03/07 06:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297
Bay Area, CA
emeraldwednesday Offline
Shark
emeraldwednesday  Offline
Shark
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297
Bay Area, CA
Another thing to remember about those sorts of statistics is that they're very relative. Say, completely hypothetically, the risk of breast cancer is 0.01% for a woman who's had a child and 0.02% for a woman who hasn't. The press is able to report "Women without kids have twice the risk of breast cancer!" and get everyone freaked out, but really, is that percentage anything to worry much about?


"I may not agree with what's on your bumper sticker, but I will fight to the end for your right to stick it." --Unknown
Living Without Children - Automated Note
For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

Re: Health Question [Re: emeraldwednesday] #326553
07/04/07 01:59 AM
07/04/07 01:59 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 296
B
bassgrrl Offline
Shark
bassgrrl  Offline
Shark
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 296
I don't believe there's any merit at all to 'womb' / cervical cancer and not giving birth. The cause of cervical cancer has been linked strongly to the HPV virus. It's transmitted sexually (like children!), but isn't prevented by having them. Regular paps normally detect it in time to take care of it quickly and easily.

I've also read that the pill is a great preventative for ovarian cancer in the same way pregnancy is -- one doesn't ovulate as frequently or at all.

Either way, I've got to agree -- cancer is curable, kids aren't.

Re: Health Question [Re: Encore DT] #326598
07/04/07 09:12 AM
07/04/07 09:12 AM
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3
L
lawren Offline OP
Newbie
lawren  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 3

Hi,

Thank you to everyone who took the time to answer my question.
I have read everything you have said carefully and found your answers really reassuring and I feel more informed and not as frightened about what was said to me. I also read the article on bellaonline.
The woman who spoke to me at the pharmacy was not a doctor but a pharmacist. She actually began by asking my age and then asked if I had any children, this was while I was picking up a prescription from her. Then when I answered she said did I know I was in the high risk factor for all three cancers, breast, ovarian and womb cancer. She told me she thought having children at a young age would have been a good way to reduce these risks without knowing anything about me but basic facts, then asked if I could not have a child or if it was a choice. At that point I walked out. In the UK the pharmacies have changed and take more of an interest in the health of their customers. They actually ask me and my husband to join their health club many times which we have declined. These information booklets and questions are a new initiative by them, this is something that never happened in the past at the pharmacy.
Since I turned thirty-five years old I have had many negative comments from people about the fact I have not had a child including my own doctor. He told me twelve months ago that if I didn't have a child I would be stigmatized in society and would find myself an outcast.
I probably would have handled the situation at the pharmacy better if I had known she was going to spring these questions on me. I have an illness called fibromyalgia which causes me pain and tiredness and I think because of this I am not the greatest at handling stressful situations although I do try.
Thanks again to everyone.

Re: Health Question [Re: lawren] #326647
07/04/07 03:46 PM
07/04/07 03:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793
Calgary, Canada
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Pikasam Offline
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Pikasam  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 793
Calgary, Canada
You have fibro, and people think that having a child will cure whatever ails you? Ye gods, welcome to the dark ages!

Some people really do need a slap upside the head...


Childfree? Join us at www.thechildfreelife.com.
Re: Health Question [Re: lawren] #326648
07/04/07 03:59 PM
07/04/07 03:59 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
happytobechildfree Offline
Chipmunk
happytobechildfree  Offline
Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Originally Posted By: lawren
The woman who spoke to me at the pharmacy was not a doctor but a pharmacist. She actually began by asking my age and then asked if I had any children, this was while I was picking up a prescription from her. Then when I answered she said did I know I was in the high risk factor for all three cancers, breast, ovarian and womb cancer. She told me she thought having children at a young age would have been a good way to reduce these risks without knowing anything about me but basic facts, then asked if I could not have a child or if it was a choice. At that point I walked out... Since I turned thirty-five years old I have had many negative comments from people about the fact I have not had a child including my own doctor. He told me twelve months ago that if I didn't have a child I would be stigmatized in society and would find myself an outcast.


This is harassment. I would have been so mad if someone quizzed me like that. NONE of her business, period! What were you supposed to do, go into your entire dating history with her... Well, you see, I was dating someone in my 20s, but he really wasn't Dad material. There are any number of reasons why a woman wouldn't have children. My sister would LOVE to have children, but hasn't met anyone decent. These are the same people that would judge us if we married a loser and had children with them, or if we weren't good parents. I would rather be judged for not having kids. Sigh. At least I can retain my life as I know it.

I cannot believe your doctor said that either! You must live in a really conservative community? But my gyn made some negative comments to me recently, too. I really like her in general, and she's pretty hip. I can't imagine I am the only person she sees that doesn't want kids. People are so stuck in the past. Good for you for sticking your ground and not giving in to the pressure. I'm sure you will be much happier living your life the way you want. I'm glad we were able to help in some way.


Save your own life - don't have kids!
Re: Health Question [Re: lawren] #326650
07/04/07 04:05 PM
07/04/07 04:05 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438
F
flyingaway Offline
Chipmunk
flyingaway  Offline
Chipmunk
F
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438
Originally Posted By: lawren

Since I turned thirty-five years old I have had many negative comments from people about the fact I have not had a child including my own doctor. He told me twelve months ago that if I didn't have a child I would be stigmatized in society and would find myself an outcast.


Wow lawren, that is really awful that he said that. I'm so sorry. I just can't believe people say things like that, but then they say it to me too, so I understand how you feel.

I also have some chronic health issues that become more of an issue if I'm under stress. It's part of the reason I have not had children.

It's irresponsible of people to pressure women to have children. If the mother is not in good health, life will be hard for her kids, bottom line. If people love children so much, why would they want to condemn them to a life with a mother who has health problems, and especially one who doesn't want to be rearing children that much in the first place. We know how it would be beforehand, and people have the gall to question that? That is so wrong.

Good luck dealing with the jerks. Just think�they don't have to wait around till they're old to become social outcasts�they already are! I wouldn't want to hang around people who say that, and I certainly wouldn't want to do business with them.

There's more and more of us making this choice all the time, and they can just get over it.



Re: Health Question [Re: flyingaway] #326865
07/05/07 06:27 PM
07/05/07 06:27 PM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144
I
iluvsummer Offline
Jellyfish
iluvsummer  Offline
Jellyfish
I
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144
At my most recent physical my pcp asked if my husband and I were planning on starting a family. I said that we weren't, and she didn't ask why or anything, she simply accepted my answer and I wasn't forced to defend myself. I really appreciated that. I appreciated it enough to not tell her that my husband and I are a family and she should be careful not to imply that one must have kids in order to be a family!

I had an appointment today with a surgeon about a breat lump. (Just a cyst - no surgery - yay!) Anyway, she did say that I had some risk factors for breast cancer, and one of them was that I hadn't had a pregnancy. She said that the chances go up if a woman hasn't had a "complete" pregnancy before the age of 30. (It did occur to me afterward that I should have asked her what that increased risk was, percentage wise, compared to normal risk.) I know many women in their 20s have kids, but so many women seem to wait until their 30s that it would appear that many, many women, not just those who are CF, would also have this risk factor.

Re: Health Question [Re: iluvsummer] #326870
07/05/07 07:30 PM
07/05/07 07:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
happytobechildfree Offline
Chipmunk
happytobechildfree  Offline
Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Originally Posted By: iluvsummer
At my most recent physical my pcp asked if my husband and I were planning on starting a family. I said that we weren't, and she didn't ask why or anything, she simply accepted my answer and I wasn't forced to defend myself. I really appreciated that.


That's cool. The "why" question bugs me, too. It's not bad enough to get the "are you having kids" question. But then to follow up with why? The next time someone asks me that, I am going to ask them how many hours they have. Because, for me, it has literally been like a 20 year process, figuring out the many reasons I don't want to be a parent. I know they tell us to prepare an elevator speech, and it's a good idea, but it's not something you can boil down. Most of us have put tons of thought into our decision.

We have a really great massage therapist, and one night it came up that she doesn't want kids, and I always thought she did. So we bonded over that. The next time we met, it came up again, and she said something about "not being able to have kids." And I said, really? And she said she thought she told us previously that she has cystic fibrosis, and can't have kids. We were totally blown away. She said she genuinely doesn't want them either. You just never know why someone might not have kids, and it's so uncool for people to ask us about it constantly.


Save your own life - don't have kids!
Re: Health Question [Re: lawren] #327210
07/07/07 04:07 AM
07/07/07 04:07 AM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A


I talked about this on another post. I too have been told this by a nurse in the past. It is just statistics. Just because something is shown to be statistically related, doesn't mean it is causal. It is like saying that more people with red cars die in crashes...is it the red car that is causing the death or are red car owners more likely to speed and drive recklessly? See the difference? It is not direct causation. Anyway, I don't think this is any good reason to have a child...as a health preventative, statistics or not.

I mean, does your family have any history of these cancers? That is truly significant and can be directly linked via genetics. I personally have a family history of ovarian cancer. I already had my uterus and ovaries removed and I'm awaiting the results of my genetic BRAC test. I would never have considered pregnancy based on those statistical scare tactics...only on real tangible family history and genetic assessment.

If you do have a family history, talk to a doctor...get a referral to an ob/gyn oncologist. Don't fret over the pamphlet.

Re: Health Question [Re: lawren] #327211
07/07/07 04:09 AM
07/07/07 04:09 AM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
Unregistered
A


Oh, they have also shown that using the Pill for like 5 or more years helps prevent such cancers. So, put that in the hopper too.

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