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Tami, thank you so much for your posts. I will do my best to answer your questions.

For convenience of reference, I have numbered each of the beliefs, #1-#10. You asked me to rate how well I think I�m doing on each on a scale from 1-10. I put my score to the right of each.

#1 I am eager to celebrate my gifts and offer them to the world. 3

#2 I fully support my happiness and success through my focused actions and thoughts. 7

#3 I enjoy expressing myself freely and confidently, in harmony with my desired outcome. 5

#4 I openly embrace the abundant happiness my life has to offer. 6

#5 I transform all in my path into good luck. 4

#6 The more i am my true self, the closer i draw my true love. 2

#7 I choose to be confident, optimistic, and cheerful.
Optimistic - 7 Cheerful - 8 Confident - depends on what the circumstances are. In teaching or making art, it would be a 9. In some other situations I would rank my confidence as high. But in some ordinary circumstances relating to trauma, it may be as low as a 1.

#8 I am loving and open to receive love in all of my relationships. 3

#9 I am free to follow my heart and enjoy being and revealing my true self. 1

#10 The power to determine my destiny is in accepting full responsibility for who i am, my circumstances, and my future. 8
All the scores are better than I would say they were a few years ago when I selected them. I particularly worked on #2, #4, and #7. You also asked which of these have to do with my night terrors. The night terrors aren�t on particular topics, but I know what they are from, in general terms... from when they disappeared. #1, #6, and #9 are most closely related, as is the confidence aspect of #7, and an overall sense of security... though I didn�t write a belief for security. I don�t know if #8 is involved or not.

Once again, I applaud your awareness... and I also congratulate you on making progress from the last time you set these goals.

How interesting that you didn't write a belief for security because that is the one I have been wondering most about (based on what you've said before.)

Tami asked: What is this current belief that is keeping you from all you want to express and be in this world?

I would say my fear is that there could be more trouble, like that which I have experienced before, for being free. Is that enough?

To paraphrase what you've said here and in the past posts: Would you say you have made an agreement that forms the following belief system? "When I share my authentic self, including all my true talents with the world, I am not safe?"

Tami asked, Is what you have to gain worth more than what you have to lose?

It should be an easy question to answer, but actually it�s tough. Feeling free to be yourself and being at your best (flow)... for me, is like heaven. I can�t even describe how wonderful it feels. I want it more than anything else. There are no night terrors, then, either. But at the time in my life when I was most like that, my life became in great danger directly because of living my authentic self... I don�t want this to sound melodramatic, but several people feared I might be murdered and plans were starting to be made for me to run and start a new identity (under the urging of others, not my idea). Obviously I was not murdered and survived, but the losses I did experience were quite extensive... quite!... and I reached a point where I was completely devastated and emotionally broken beyond what I thought possible. There were other times in my earlier life, too, that I experienced significant hardships for speaking up or being independent, or just for being noticed as special.

I�m not sure that changing my belief in this area is necessarily the way to go for a solution. This is not my case, but say for example someone was in danger in their relationship... would you want them to change their belief so they believed they were safe even though they weren�t? No. That the same thing would happen to me again that did before, or even something very similar, is astronomically unlikely! But it IS likely that there will sometimes be some trouble as a result of my �living large and living true,�...it�s happened too consistently to think no bad things will happen as consequence... and I need adequate ways of dealing with it rather than to try to change my belief to something like nothing will happen. Whatever solution I find, I think needs to reflect real possibilities in life. I don�t want to work towards holding a belief that would be shattered when something comes along that proves my belief isn�t true, and even potentially would put me in harm�s way. So that�s the dilemma. I DO desperately need a stronger sense of security and safety, in order to improve my ability to thrive. A sense of security is one of our 6 basic needs. I just don�t know how to go about it and get that feeling back

When we put ourselves in the path of true danger, any one of us could be harmed! No, we must protect ourselves.

The question is, "How can you create a safe place for yourself where you feel free to express yourself in full authenticity and creativity?"

Once again, if we look at YOUR belief system, how can you get a sense of security if you feel you put yourself in danger by revealing your full potential to the world?

However, we can look at this a different way. What if we put the world aside for a while and just looked at you in a safe place?

What would it look like for you to be all of your authentic self inside your safe boundaries without sharing your glory with the world? This is for you alone until you may or may not decide otherwise.

Would you be willing to give yourself permission to be fully alive and free with yourself in the place of safety?

Where would that safe place be? Would it be your home? Would it extend further to a choice few friends or family? What is the exact limit where you know you are safe?

I thought I heard an underlying hint that the nightmares are based in a lack of feeling secure or safe. (Forgive me if I got that impression from someone else's post. I can't clearly remember right now).



Tami asked: Does your ability to sleep without nightmares depend on the time of day or night you are sleeping? For example, what happens when you nap during the day to make up for lost sleep at night?
No. If it�s going to happen, it will happen every time I try to sleep regardless of time of day or many other factors. It will usually begin within just a few minutes (sometimes instantaneously) upon falling asleep.

Tami asked: Besides lack of sleep, what other power do these nightmares have over you?
It takes time to shake it off when I wake... in other words, I�m depressed or frightened when I first wake, but usually only for about an hour. The links cdmohatta provided showed me this is typical of night terrors. I sometimes have more anxiety when I�m tired (from disrupted sleep)... whether that�s related to it or not I don�t know, but I�ve learned ways of dealing with anxiety to some degree.

How do you think it would affect your nightmares if you told yourself you would not be willingly putting yourself in any danger right now, including the fact that sharing your glory will not be in unsafe places?

Tami asked: So you've noticed a specific pattern when you begin to move forward. Have you noticed anything that trips up that pattern?

Do you mean interrupts the pattern between moving forward and then the nightmares undermining gains? Great idea, but unfortunately no, I have not noticed any. When I�m having �a jag� (that�s what I call it when the nightmares get bad for a little while)... I get dull-witted and can�t really think clearly enough to notice how the process changes. Focus disappears. If I lived with someone I�d ask them for observations, but unfortunately I don�t.

Tami asked: If you could only pick ONE thing, which one [talent] would have the most positive or powerful impact in your life?
When I was able to reach my authentic self before, one of the most distinguishing features of it......was that I was whole in a new way... and there was a lot of synergy between my talents... ways of combining things I�d never imagined before. I also had a much greater ability to focus and prioritize, and dramatically, to make decisions. I�m a bit tired at the moment so I�m having trouble explaining.... perhaps I should think more on this and the last question before answering.

Tami, I�m just so amazed by your generosity here. You�re offering me quite a bit of your time and expertise. Are you sure I�m not imposing? If you are enjoying this or think it will help promote your services I hope you will continue... but I don�t want you to feel obligated. Thank you for your questions and comments today... it has gotten me to think of things in fresh ways.

Thank you so much,
~holly

Tami, I�m just so amazed by your generosity here. You�re offering me quite a bit of your time and expertise. Are you sure I�m not imposing? If you are enjoying this or think it will help promote your services I hope you will continue... but I don�t want you to feel obligated. Thank you for your questions and comments today... it has gotten me to think of things in fresh ways.

Thank you so much,
~holly