BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse Adult children of abusive families

Kristen84, thank you so much for your wonderful reply :) It sounds like you have done an amazing job coping with your situation and finding your own path through life (congratulations on law school!!!). I hope your dad's recent diagnosis can help you understand the things he did, but you are so right - it is absolutely NO excuse for him to be abusive and unaccountable for his behavior. My father blames his depression constantly...but he is exactly the way he was then, even though he says the depression is gone now. I've luckily been able to find a wonderful counselor at the school I go to (I definitely had to go through a few to find someone I was truly comfortable with). It's so crazy you bring up being an animal person! My dogs were my saving grace growing up when I had to be alone with my dad a lot because my mom worked/I'm an only child. I'm looking into training a therapy dog (for me too) but to help other people b/c I know how healing animals can be :) I'm hoping to get my master's in Social Work to hopefully work as a career counselor, academic advisor, or with domestic violence shelters. I hope doing this can help me through the healing process too. Thank you for your kind reply - I can't tell you how comforting to hear everyone's stories of strength and perseverance. I'm deeply sorry for your anxiety issues...I know how horrible that be. But you have the best attitude: "I've tried to turn the focus to myself and making myself feeling good rather than allowing anyone else to make me feel horrible." I'm really trying to do that too, but it's been baby steps so far which is ok. I still feel guilty at times but I have to remember to protect myself and my well-being. It's like I finally have a chance to breathe now since I don't have to deal with him everyday...and I don't want to go back to constantly catering to his needs and feeling suffocated like how it used to be growing up. I hope you can find peace when you no longer have to have forced interactions with him because of finances etc. You really gave me a lot of hope that things can get better...I wish you all the best!!!

Hi to all in this forum. I have an adopted daughter that was the victim of abuse in her most formative years. She is now 14 and is a very unhappy teen. She cares about nothing, trusts no one and we don't know what we can do for her. She was just diagnosed with PTSD of the complex nature. The complex part is that those who were supposed to care foe her and nurture her were the abusers. She was probably not held much as an infant and had to learn that the only one that she could trust was herself. I grew up with parents who cared about us but didn't necessarily show as much affection to us as they showed to each other. They are still married after more than 50 years and are unable to understand the difficulties that come from infant neglect and abuse that were part of my daughter's life. Any suggestions as to how to help my daughter would be greatly appreciated.