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das Offline OP
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I think that you make sense.

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Instead of focusing on the pain of a relationship, look at it as a path to understanding yourself and life better. Look at it as two people who came together and then, for one reason or another, decided that they were not meant to be, but that does not in any way negate or destroy what they had -- for however brief a time.

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Wow - I missed this one somehow!

My 2 cents: I think that sometimes pain in a relationship, or even in anything, gives us a greater appreciation for the good things that happen. Pain can also make us stronger.

If our lives were always filled with happy-happy days, then we will never be prepared for when something bad happens. It's kind of lie an immunization, I guess.

As to the question of whether to seek out relationships or remin alone; that totally depends on the individual. I have several friends that have decided to remain single, for one reason or another. They don't want a romantic relationship - and not because they have been hurt.

Some of us need to have others around. I for one gain strength from my husband and family.


Michelle Taylor
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das Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Kat Wilder
Instead of focusing on the pain of a relationship, look at it as a path to understanding yourself and life better. Look at it as two people who came together and then, for one reason or another, decided that they were not meant to be, but that does not in any way negate or destroy what they had -- for however brief a time.


But this separation can give lot of heartache.

das #321673 06/13/07 09:28 AM
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das Offline OP
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I was thinking of relationships like cigarette.
Relationships can give pain. Beware!

das #321707 06/13/07 12:06 PM
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Zebra
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Originally Posted By: das
Originally Posted By: Kat Wilder
Instead of focusing on the pain of a relationship, look at it as a path to understanding yourself and life better. Look at it as two people who came together and then, for one reason or another, decided that they were not meant to be, but that does not in any way negate or destroy what they had -- for however brief a time.


But this separation can give lot of heartache.


Only if you let it do so.

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Wolf
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Alexandra, heartache is the worst thing that can happen. Only some super natural beings can avoid that.

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Zebra
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I didn't say we can avoid it. of course you can't. I only said that things can give you heartache if you let them do so... what I mean by this, is that we have a tendency to prolong our own agony long after the event which caused the initial heartbreak has passed. people have a tendency to continue clinging to the emotion, when it would be so much better to just simply let it go.

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Wolf
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How do we let it go?

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Zebra
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you just refuse to give it mind-space. or as a friend put it, deny it the right to live rent-free in your head. When the thoughts come to mind, dismiss them and tell yourself you have better things to think about, because you're a happy person.
After a while, the thoughts give up.
It's only your Ego keeping you down.

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