BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Relationship- why?

And before someone comes in and says so, I also know animals are capable of emotion. They are friendly, warm and happy when they are well-treated and looked after and respected. tehy return this treatment with unconditional love and affection, in a domestic environlment. Even in a zoo, where animals are kept in captivity in the most natural ways possible, if they are fed, well tended and cared for, they thrive....
My point is that the lives of animals are not as over-complicated as we as humans have made ours.
This higher intelligence level we insist we possess, has also been a disadvantage at times...It has not always counted in our favour.

Dogs do seek packs outside of their domestic families, stray dogs are often in packs.

Here's an interesting picture of the dogs relationship to their human. My sister in law had a seizure (they think) a couple years ago and collapsed in her kennel. She has about 5 dogs and was fostering a couple puppies. Her kennel is quite extensive with seperate fenced areas and a large running area for them. Anyway, she collapsed and fell to the ground in the running area while running the dogs. When my brother got home, probably 20ish minutes after she collapsed, he found her pit bull lying by her head, protective. He found another dog jumping at her, as though to wake her up. He found the puppies running around her. And another dog was lying at her feet. The others were still kenneled. My brothers first instinct was to get the dogs off her and he kind of flipped out, but it was a stressful situation. In retrospect, he thinks the dogs were trying to protect her, watching over her, and wake her up.

So I know that animals can think, reason to a degree, and even have emotion. I am not even altogether convinced they don't have this thing we call a "soul".

However, they are still largely based on instinct and react to events with many prewired reactions. Humans don't usually do that, we have morals because of religion, and we have religion because of a need to have something higher than ourselves. Also, humans are different in terms of mates in one other very large aspect: the women are largely defenseless while carrying and then caring for a child. Without a mate to protect her, in many cases (ie ancient times) she would be lost. So from that point of view, it is in a womans best interests to find and mate with a partner who is not going to run off at the sight of another woman, and who will provide for her.

This is one of the issues with todays society: we have the concept of family still, but the dynamics of a family are much different than years ago. A woman can provide for herself and her children just as well as a man can. A woman can have children with or without a man around. So what, in terms of role, have we left the male? He isn't required to take care of the woman, he isn't required in the household, he isn't even required to raise the children. He is completely expendable except in the inital act of procreation. And we wonder why they can leave at the drop of a hat and never look back? What is there to keep them?

Dez

" And we wonder why they can leave at the drop of a hat and never look back? What is there to keep them?"

Choice. Men and women alike choose to stay or to go.

Let us not stray from what we are discussing. Dez has made a great post and Alexandra has spoken about emotions in animals. Yes, some animals are little evolved and lot of research is going on in that.

I could not understand what His Brandy said.

Now-

Are we supposed be like animals. Can we drop a relationship as casually as an animal does?

We can get away from pain only if we are very highly evolved. Not everyone can do that. It is also not a matter of decision- I will not feel pain about this and done.

No it does not happen. It sounds very good but practically it can not be done . It looks good to preach, but it can not be practise by the student.


I can answer many posts on this forum saying-

Decide and drop the pain. Get free now.
Will the poster be able to do that?

yup.

Alexandra,

I completely disagree with what you say.

Holly, Tami, Andidetal, babyquacker,please clarify -
Do you believe that any mental disorder can be cured in a moment by deciding to do that?
I am not talking about daily depression, but serious disorders.
Please , can you give your views?

I would be delighted if you could clarify please.... What do you disagree with and why ?



This was not part of your original question my friend, and you are moving the goal-posts again. If this is the basis of your disagreeing with me, then little wonder. You didn't mention this before, hence I failed to see the connection.
You never mentioned serious mental disorder in your previous question, and I don't know why you are diverting the topic away from the original thread topic of relationships.

What is it exactly you are seeking here?
What do you need in your life, from us?
What do you want from us?

Alexandra,

This is my query-
------------------------------------------------------------
To my statement that-


I can answer many posts on this forum saying-

Decide and drop the pain. Get free now.

Will the poster be able to do that?
-------------------------------------------------

You answered yes.

Now I was referring to serious mental disorders when I referred to pain. sorry if I mislead you.

Which pain did you understand?

Alexandra-

To your query-
What is it exactly you are seeking here?
What do you need in your life, from us?
What do you want from us?
-------------------------------

I want nothing from you.
I am here like all of you trying to get help and give help if possible.

I understood the pain of rejection, the pain of abandonment, the pain of solitude, and of having to detach one's self from a relationship...

Just to let you know though, that I frequent another forum and we have several people there who have serious mental health issues, (bi-polar, schizophrenia, seasonal periodic depression) but who have found much relief and improbement by the practises recommended on there by others.
One person manages to control the fluctuations in their moods that they have (with cooperation, support and assistance form their doctor) managed to reduce their medication by a significant amount.
so I think there is evidence that there is a great deal that can be done for such chronic mental states, apart from medication.