BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Inspiration How often do you smile?

I wonder if there has ever been a study on how many times a day the average person laughs or smiles?! How often would you say you do?

I never smile.

Well that's a bad thing das. I feel sad for you.

I never stop smiling.
I am never without a smile on my face...if it ever leaves, it's only lingering nearby, waiting to take its place again on my face.

Most of the times my eyes are filled with tears and my mind is full of torment. For me it it a effort to write on such forums and talk to people. I only talk to Mr. Mohatta. my doctor has told me that it will go on like this for some more time.

Your doctor is wrong.

If you believe such pessimistic, negative messages, how can you ever hope to make progress? By what authority does he assist in keeping you in this state? His job is to make you better - but perhaps it is more profitable for him to keep you as you are....

In any case, I think it is most damaging and unethical of him to relate such thoughts to you.

Remember this. Truly, remember this....
The only person - the only person - who has constant, reliable and permanent access to your Mind, is you.
if it contains torment, you open the door to this torment.

I am astonished that with all the positive messages you read here, from people who wish you well, and want healing for you, that you should still be so easily subject to the bad side of things.
The trick is to shun the negativity and remain with the positive.
if something deals you a heavy blow - don't go there any more than is necessary, and surround yourself with all that is good and beneficial.
And try to follow their advice!

Let us go back to the question of Lala- How often do you smile in a day?

Read my first response.
I never stop smiling. I awake with a smile, and I go to sleep smiling.
Happiness is feeling good all over, but showing it chiefly in one place. Your face.
That's my honest answer.

I was told something that I didn't really believe until I tried it. I go through little depressions here and there, and when I'm feeling down I get very emotional and it just wont go away. I continue thinking bad things and looking at the negative things in life and only get more depressed about every aspect in my life. And then I tend to exaggerate the bad things which makes me even more depressed. One day I was told by my husband that smiling will automatically make you feel better. It wont necessarily take it all away right away, but the more we practise smiling the more it will make you feel good. He told me to smile when I was sad, even if it was a forced smile, because it will turn into a real smile. Of course, I didn't believe that. But one day I tried it, and I am so serious, it worked. Whenever I am sad or upset, I force myself to smile, or think of something funny to make me laugh, and before you know it, you are feeling much better and wondering why you felt so awful before.

When you smile, your voice sounds happier. Like, when you answer the phone, if you are smiling you sound more alive, compared to if you answer just regular or frowning. Smiling is an amazing thing. When I smile I feel a calmness come through me. I find it hard to smile when I'm alone, but it's something to work on becasue it really does make a world of difference.

Lala, you are absolutely right! A few years ago I posted about a scientific study that stated that the neurons in our brains can be deceived into believing that we are actually happy if we SMILE. It truly does cause all kinds of things to happen inside our brains when we force our face muscles to smile.

I just looked back at my old posts and unfortunately Bella doesn't keep them but a year. I will look around and see if I can find the hard copy around my house somewhere. It really is a wonderful thing to realize that we CAN change how we feel by how we act, even if we just PRETEND to be happy.

Here is a perfect example... Have you ever been in a car and someone smiles at you? Naturally you smile back. On the other hand, drive around all day with a big smile on your face and watch OTHER people's reactions. Of course most of them will smile back at you, but usually with a puzzling look, but by the time you get where you are going, you will be in a fantastic mood.

My dad always said, "Smile and the world smiles with you". We all know what comes after that ... cry and you cry alone. Sadness makes a person feel so alone, even when others ARE around, even if it is only vitually. Lala you are right about how your voice sounds happier and your words sound lighter when you are smiling. Sunshine usually shines through what you are trying to say. I must admit that I must force myself sometimes to smile just to break a spell of misery, but it does work.

Alexandra, I am so happy that you are such a happy person all the time. It is a rare person that can say that without exception. I am usually a very positive person and have MANY smiles for everybody, but sometimes it just doesn't happen, so good for you!

Das, I am sending you a REALLY BIG SMILE and ((( ))) so, won't you fake a few smiles for us and see if you don't feel just a little better? We all REALLY do care.

Here is a silly little joke to get you laughing... or at least smiling... actually, I should say a DIRTY joke... a little white horse fell in the mud!~~~~ ~~~giggle~~~~ ~~~~ get it? ~~~~ the white horse is "little" ... and after he fell in the mud, he was "dirty"! ~~~~ ~~~ OK, So I'm not so good at jokes... remember I teach kiddos and sometimes my humor is kiddish (or childish). Are you smiling just a little? I sure hope so!

Your friend,

Trish

LaLa! I'm so glad you posted this! It made me smile I wholeheartedly believe that smiling makes us feel better, whether we want it to or not HA HA HA!

I occasionally deal with depression, and smiling ALWAYS makes me feel better. Especially now that I'm more willing to smile when I'm feeling so low.... smile and say "thank you, thank you" over and over and over again!

Hi Trish,

If you know which forum you posted your smiling article in you can go back through the forum posts and possibly track it down. I know there are old posts here in Inspiration that are 3 or 4 years old. I looked through Inspiration, but didn't see anything in particular related to smiling, but of course, maybe you didn't post it here

I would love to see the article for sure!

Das, I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. It can be hard to pull oneself up from the throws of depression. But honestly, it doesn't sound like your doctor is being very encouraging... and unfortunately so often that's the case. Have you ever considered talking with someone who is more of a life coach or personal motivator, in conjunction with doing your medical treatments? Life can be so much easier when we have a cheerleader on our side.

Big Hugs,

Bella,

thanks for your sweet words.
I am getting some very good advice on this forum now.

Deanna, I searched and DID find one of the articles that I was referring to and will post about it tomorrow (when it's not so late). It is from a 2002 Discover magazine - neuro quest. It really does have some neat stuff!

Trish

Yay! I found the original article which starts with a picture. I scanned the picture but I haven't figured out how to post it, yet. I'll get on tomorrow and then put the article with it.

Trish

So if anyone knows how, please let me know, so it will be quicker! Thanks!

T

Hi Trish,

So this is an article you scanned out of a magazine? Yikes! I have no idea how to get it here... I'm a link and surf girl Maybe you could scan it as a file and send it to me as an attachment? Then I could upload to my website and provide a link that way?

The article about smiling is called "Grin and Bear It". I'm posting the picture from the article for every one to look at to see what each one feels about it. What emotion does it create? Tomorrow I will post the first part of the article and what I had originally said about it. Okay? Trish

Trish,

I LOVE the picture! Thanks so much for sharing it HA HA HA! I am getting in a better mood just looking at it HA HA!

Deanna, isn't it great? That is the whole object!! I'll go on as I promised here, but do you think it would be fun to start it again with a different topic to catch more interest?

GRIN AND BEAR IT Can a forced smile make you happy?



VIEWING THE GIRAFFE IN THE ABOVE PHOTOGRAPH MOST LIKELY BROUGHT A GRIN TO YOUR FACE. If you were greatly amused, your blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, and perspiration might also have changed briefly. Common sense says that what just happened inside your brain was a chain reaction that went something like this: Your visual system processed the photographic image, eliciting a conscious emotion that caused contractions of your facial muscles and produced changes in your blood pressure and other visceral functions. But, as you'll soon discover, common sense and the brain only rarely agree with each other.

EXPERIMENT 1 Find an old pencil and bite down on it lengthwise, taking care not to let any part of the pencil touch your lips. As you do this, gaze at the photo of the giraffe for a moment. Then, keeping your eyes fixed on the photo, remove the pencil. Jot down whether you felt more or less amused by the image when the pencil was in or out of your mouth. Repeat the biting-pencil/not-biting-pencil cycle several times if you're not immediately sure which condition produces more mirth.

Come back and tell us what you found when you did this experiment. Remember, we are trying to see if we can change HOW we feel by how often we smile, even if it is forced!

There is an Experiment 2 that will follow after we have each had time to look at the giraffe and post our feelings. Let's see what we can find out! OKAY? I hope everybody that reads this will participate!

Trish

Trish, this is awesome! I tried to repost in a new topic titled "Grin and Bear It" but I couldn't get the picture to transfer - and we gotta have the picture

Could you repost?

Thanks!

I did repost it as GRIN AND BEAR IT!! Now I will finish the experiment 2 here, as promised. (It is the same as on Grin and Bear It, just in case someone does not move over to that site).

Trish

i am so glad i logged in after such a long time.wonderful threads!
:-)))

Hi cb! It's good to see you here! And yes, there have been some wonderful threads!

I love your quote about counting blessings helps to smile more. I made a habit of having to come up with 20 things to be grateful for when I get into depressed mode! It helps SOOOOO much! And the more I did it, the more I got used to it and could come up with even more things to be grateful for!

Hi, cb!

Your points are excellent! Time is precious!! Glad to see you back!

Deanna, I love your habit of coming up with 20 things to be grateful for when you count your blessings.

Trish

Smiling because I am happy it rarely happens (years ago was the last time). Smiling because of a news I saw or something else depends of course on how much happy things I see and hear a day. Smiling while in public I do it often, I am not social at all because I am shy and I also detest our species but I am polite so I do it to be polite.

I like smiling. It's my favorite

Nancy, anyone who reads your posts can see you are in pain. You continue to post here at BellaOnline, and I wonder if you are looking for interaction? Because honestly, when you make a statement like this, what kind of reaction do you expect in return?

This is a friendly community, with some really nice people - amazing people. And, if you'd give us half a chance, you could make friends here. I've made friends here, and I keep in touch with some of them off the forums too.

I know you have mentioned before that you are depressed. But have you thought that maybe keeping track of the bad things that happen to you may actually add to that depression?

I have enjoyed interacting with you when you post movie reviews, and I'd love to interact with you more. But seriously, when you say you detest our species, I think it greatly limits your joy because that thought only serves to isolate you.

Actually try the smiling exercise. Life can be pretty wonderful.

Deanna,

With that post I just expressed my opinion of that thread, I did not want any specific reactions to this, just me expressing myself about the subject.

I have met many great people here which is why I keep coming back. I was on a few other websites where I wrote my opinions and I was bashed on all of them so I left those places but the latest two places I did make friends and I speak to them via email.

I hate human beings as a species but I at least do not go around hating or/and judging the people I do not know. I have to have proof that they are bad people before doing that. A few times (less than 5) I have disliked or hated someone when seeing their faces and everytime it turns out there was a reason or more to not like them or hate them.

On November 9 it will be six years that my life has turned into a hell so it is normal that I focus on the negatives since it is just with that that I am surrounded by, the rare things that are not negatives are with the people I have never met, yes it is amazing that I have many people I can turn to but I have never met any of you so I do not have that physical connection that so many people are so very lucky to have.

Nancy, thanks so much for responding!

And I really don't have a problem with your opinions, and we do disagree on a few things, but I think open discussion is always fun, and it's a good opportunity to interact anyway - we definitely don't all have to agree.

But can you see why I asked you that? We are the human species. Me, and You too

I LOVE humanity. I just do. I believe that despite the crunchy exterior, most people have a soft, sweet, gooey center

November 9 sounds like a crummy anniversary to have to think about --- and I do wish that you can find yourself in a more nurturing situation sooner than you expected.

And it's okay to smile for no reason It really is.

Deanna,

Some of the most interesting conversations I have had are with people who disagree with me. The thing is that the other person has to have an open mind and not judge the others who do not think like they do which is the case with Bella Online. It is insane how people just get angry when they read or hear someone say something that they do not agree with then just proceed to attack them just because of that.

I know I am a human being and I also know there are other human beings that are not deranged evil worthless scum but the majority of us are. Empathy is the root and most human beings just do not have any. The worst is that some actually has empathy but at one point in their lives they just decide to not use that empathy anymore, that is scarier than the people who are born without any. My empathy is not used for criminals and the heartless (good example is on Live Leak theres a video of a teenage girl that is completely burned except for her eyes and teeth she went back inside her burning house to save her mom - in that video there are pages and pages of people who either joke about it or are disgusted by her - people who do that does not deserve my empathy and wont get it either).

I actually do smile without any reason why I am in public or when I just want to be nice, sometimes it feels good sometimes not.

I have money so a way out plus I live in a place that I like so it is not bleak like it was when I was in Ste-Florence. I just want to take my time before finally leaving my parents behind that the money I have do not run out before I get a job where I will start a new life, ending up on the streets or with a roof over my head but hungry would not be a great new start. At least here during my hell I am guaranteed a roof, electricity, water, food, satellite dish and internet.

Hi Nancy,

LOL.... yeah, sometimes it's hard to believe someone else's view could possibly hold any merit, especially when we feel very strongly we are right

I'm really okay with the idea that we each have our own personal truth, and it may not align with someone else's version of the truth.

Like for me, it has not been my experience that the majority of people are "deranged, evil, worthless, scum." I actually find that the majority of people are loving, and compassionate beneath any seemingly crunchy exterior.

I believe that only those who are in a great deal of pain themselves could possibly hurt another. So I don't think it's as much to do with empathy as it is feeling limited and isolated and misunderstood. Yeah, I do understand there are a small number of people who seem to have not a trace of empathy, but this us usually linked to pretty severe abuse, or abandonment and withholding of love, while that person is a newborn, or infant.

This is why the power of our choice is our greatest super-power. We choose how we perceive the world, at every level. If we believe in a friendly world, we'll experience a friendly world. If we believe in a chaotic, hateful world, then that will be our experience.

That's why two people who attend the same event can come away with two experiences - one may have enjoyed it, while the other hated it.

There is something that I like to remind myself when I start feeling that the world is out to get me:

Your life is governed by the truth, whether you believe it or not.
However, your experience of life is governed by your beliefs, whether they are true or not.

Thank the gods we have the power to change our perceptions, right