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Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: Jennyt] #663712
02/17/11 10:06 AM
02/17/11 10:06 AM
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optimus2535 Offline
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That does sound a bit crazy in this ear of birth control, abortion, and sterilization.

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: calligrapher] #663713
02/17/11 10:12 AM
02/17/11 10:12 AM
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optimus2535 Offline
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Are women not entitled to have a life without children if that's what they want?

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: kmom] #663714
02/17/11 10:49 AM
02/17/11 10:49 AM
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You need to take yourself out of the environment in which you are constantly being criticized because that is no way to live. If your family is criticizing you every time you go to their house, stop going to their house. They should get the hint but if they ask, tell them you are sick tired of the constant put-downs and unsolicited advice and criticisms stripping away your self esteem and you will be happy to resume visits when they can stop belittling and demeaning you and start treating you like a human being; until them, you will not be visiting them and their visiting privileges to your house are rescinded. As for total strangers, well, they don't deserve explanations or courtesies because they clearly have no boundaries. I simple "Go to hell" or "get lost" should do but you can get creative. "Are you the mother/father of this child? No? When you are, then you get a vote. Until then, mind your own business and I won't call the police and have you throw in jail." When people harass you, well, they should know better but if they don't, that's what the police are for. As for your husband, sit him down and have a talk with him about how his constant criticisms and damaging your self respect and your sex drive and you will not allow it. No one has the right to do that to you and let your husband know that you won't tolerate it. Listen to what he has to say, ask him why he married you if you thinks you're stupid, incompetent, or whatever. You are his wife, why is he not supporting you and putting you first instead of tearing you down? Why is he listening to strangers instead of you and taking their word over his? As I write this, it occurs to me that you need a marriage counselor. But you need to stand up for yourself or they will be walking over you forever. If you have to yell to get your point across, go ahead, stop restraining yourself, lose your temper, yell and swear if that is what needs to happen to get your point across and get these arrogant people who are under the delusion it is any of their business to leave you alone.

Last edited by optimus2535; 02/17/11 10:54 AM.
Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: Madness] #663715
02/17/11 10:55 AM
02/17/11 10:55 AM
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optimus2535 Offline
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There are options.

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: Heam] #663716
02/17/11 10:57 AM
02/17/11 10:57 AM
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Why would your family not allow you to? How would they stop you?

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: Mommync] #663717
02/17/11 11:09 AM
02/17/11 11:09 AM
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optimus2535 Offline
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This might sound radical but maybe you should consider moving closer to your family so they can help. Of course, you may lose your job if you do that so bad idea. Maybe they could visit and help or you could hire some help because your husband is no help. He is clearly damaged and you can't help him. You are not a professional and he needs counseling and probably drugs. You should see a marriage counselor. If he refuses, go alone and maybe you will find insight as to how you would up with this guy. It might not be a bad idea to consult a divorce lawyer if he refuses to see a counselor about his problems. If you are being abused, then please call the domestic violence hotline and they will help you make a plan to get out.

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: jools987] #663718
02/17/11 11:18 AM
02/17/11 11:18 AM
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At six weeks, you still have options.

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: Susannah] #663720
02/17/11 11:29 AM
02/17/11 11:29 AM
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IS it even remotely relevant to you that it is a gift they didn't actually want?

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: fluffernutter6] #663725
02/17/11 11:54 AM
02/17/11 11:54 AM
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Your husband says "no?" This may sound silly but do you do everything your husband says? Did he buy you at a slave auction? You don't need his permission and if you want an abortion, the time to do it in the first trimester. The longer you wait, the less options you will have.

Re: Need support - I hate being a mom [Re: optimus2535] #663727
02/17/11 12:08 PM
02/17/11 12:08 PM

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i dont think abortion is the right answer here, it is a horrible thing for any woman to even think about never mind do? there are thousands of women that could give that child a home who cant have children, thou shalt not kill, even worse if you kill your own.

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