Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Is "too good to be true" really bad? #311998 05/08/07 04:04 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 110
Kat Wilder Offline OP
OP Offline
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 110

"He's perfect!"

I've heard women say that about a man a few times � shoot, I've even said that once � but I'm wondering if believing someone's "perfect" � in other words, the Too Good To Be True Guy � in the early stages of dating is a good thing.

I met Dennis about two years ago online. Because of crazy schedules, commitments and kid arrangements, it took us about two weeks to actually getting around to meet each other. But after all the e-mailing and phone calls we'd made, I really felt I knew him.

After about three amazing weeks of dating � you know, the kind where lust and love get so mixed up you don't really know which is which, nor do you care � he said, "Kat, I don't want to just be your lover. I want to be your boyfriend."

Wow! Who's gonna turn that down?


Off went the online dating profiles, all other men I'd been flirting with got the boot and my flirty Kat on the prowl mojo was neatly folded and put away. "What's he like?" my friends asked. "He's perfect," I said, dreamily. "He's just too good to be true!" And he was.

About a month later, I introduced him to a few of them .

"You two are so perfect together!" one exclaimed as we all sat in a cushy booth of the trendy bar.

I cringed inside a bit, not because I didn't think we were � we were! � but even though I confided that to my girlfriends, it felt too premature to be announcing something like that out loud and in front of him. I wasn't the only one who felt that way, either, because when I looked over at Dennis' face, it sure looked like he was cringing, too.

I don't think I need to tell you how it ended up a few months later.

So when a girlfriend gushed recently about a new beau who was "too good to be true!" it made me nervous.

It's natural that in the beginning, all you focus on are the best parts of the person you've flipped for. Even the red flags don't seem really red � just a very dark pink, right? And, really, who wants to pop the intoxicating bubble of lustful excitement � especially when you know it doesn't last forever?

But, still, I wonder � is it a good thing if someone is "too good to be true"?
And is it unfair to see someone as perfect, and not just a good person with flaws like everybody else?

Is it better to follow Patti Scialfa's words in the beautiful song "Spanish Dancer":
Oh mama when you were a young girl
Did you ever love a man so much
As if he were some fantastic jewel
That you should never be worthy of
But all those illusions strip and fall
And he is just a man after all

Re: Is "too good to be true" really bad? [Re: Kat Wilder] #312000 05/08/07 04:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
Alexandra Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,313
That's the problem with putting folks on a pedestal.
Sooner or later, they fall off.

If someone is too good to be true, generally, they are.

Don't enter into a relationship nursing any illusions. They lead to disappointment.
Just accept that the person is just as wonderful, just as flawed, just as human, just as vulnerable and just as unique -
- as you are.

Re: Is "too good to be true" really bad? [Re: Alexandra] #312004 05/08/07 05:09 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 110
Kat Wilder Offline OP
OP Offline
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 110
That's because you've got a Buddhist sensibility ;-)

Yes, Alexandra, that's the lesson I learned ... eventually.

I'm still trying to help my friends with that, though. But I'm here with a shoulder to cry on until then!

Re: Is "too good to be true" really bad? [Re: Kat Wilder] #312565 05/10/07 07:53 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5
KCLady Offline
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5
Wow ... sigh ..... unfortunately, if it seems too good to be true, it usually IS. Murphy's Law, just the way it is I guess. If something, even intially, seems to have NO flaws .... I would be very wary.......

Brand New Posts
2020: On this day . . .
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/28/20 04:25 AM
Plant propogation
by followinghim - 09/28/20 03:33 AM
Hanging Fuchsia
by followinghim - 09/28/20 03:28 AM
What are your Container concerns right now?
by followinghim - 09/28/20 03:16 AM
Non-hodgkin's Lymphoma
by followinghim - 09/28/20 03:00 AM
Autumn Equinox
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/26/20 08:39 AM
Container Gardening TIP OF THE DAY
by Lestie4containergardens - 09/26/20 04:37 AM
Europa - Facts for Kids *new article*
by Mona - Astronomy - 09/25/20 01:44 PM
Uranus and Neptune - Twin Planets *new*
by Krztypie - 09/24/20 10:03 AM
Moisturizing Winter Skin the Right Way
by Krztypie - 09/24/20 10:00 AM
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!
Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!

| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2020 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.3