If your spouse gained 100 pounds, would you split?
I was listening to the radio this week ï¿½ not NPR because I'm not an intellectual that way, but a music station ï¿½ and a female caller said she and her husband had a clause about weight in their pre-nup. If either he or she hit a certain weight, they'd have cause to seek a divorce.
That's interesting, I thought, although, I have to admit I laughed out loud at the weight restrictions ï¿½ her top limit is 240 (for a 5'2" frame!) and his is 280. I'd say they are being very generous ...
The caller said, for her and her husband, it's about taking responsibility for one's health, best interest and looks.
I agree that it's important to respect yourself enough to keep yourself fit and healthy ï¿½ not for your spouse, but for yourself. I know that I would have a hard time feeling attracted to someone who weighed 280 pounds. I might have a hard time feeling attracted to someone who weighed 220 (unless he's 6 foot 4 or something like that).
But I think that I'd address that issue as the pounds started adding up ï¿½ I mean, going from 118 (which is what the female caller says she weighs now) to 240 doesn't happen overnight. Somewhere around 135, I'd want to check in, if I were her husband, because I think those extra pounds would signal an underlying emotional issue. And as someone who loves her, I'd want to help her figure that out and support her in working it out.
Maybe that's the problem, though. I have read lots and lots written by women who get upset ï¿½ dare I say [censored] off and defensive ï¿½ when their lovers call them on their weight. "I'm still the same person inside. Why is he so shallow? Doesn't he know I can see what I look like and I hate it, too?" Well, then please do something about it! Is it easy? No, but ... so?
So maybe he doesn't say anything ... he just waits until the scale hits 240 and slaps her with divorce papers! Problem solved. Even if it's not in a pre-nup, it seems some men think divorcing over weight is OK.
Many years ago, I worked with a beautiful, sexy blonde who was having an affair with our married boss. He eventually left his wife for her, they got married and started having kids. And then, she got fat ï¿½ really fat. You can read into that what you want, but if I were her hubby, I'd be upset and unhappy that my little sex kitten had turned into a flabby, matronly housewife.
How have you handled your lover's weight gain?
Is gaining 100-plus pounds reason enough to divorce?
And if your lover actually expressed his/her unhappiness with your weight, what would you do?