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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 592
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Gecko
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Gecko
R
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 592
Great advice, gorgeousred. So many well-meaning people tell you to let them know if you need anything but for so many us it is hard to "ask" for help so it is really nice when someone just picks a task and offers to do it (such as walking the dog). We had a dear friend who took over mowing the yard when I was going through cancer treatment. He showed up every Thursday morning and mowed. It was such a welcome relief not to have to worry about it.

Congrats on finishing treatment. Yea!!

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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 101
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 101
Just imagine yourself with a serious flu. When you lie there, couching, wheezing, aching - what do YOU wish for? Those are the same things you can/should assist your cancer friend with. Cooking, kids, pets, garden.... It's actually quite simple if you think about it in that way.


Adelle Ottavini, Cancer Editor
Cancer Website
Cancer Forum
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 12
Newbie
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 12
I have had three cancer diagnosis. My "friends" all (as in every single one of them) stopped calling. No invitations. No offers to help. No checking in to see how I was doing. It was hard (impossible) to ASK for help from any of them - especially as the time became longer - so I basically went through all of that with my partner as my only support. She was fabilous. Now 10 years and 3 diagnosis later, we are just making new friends. It is wonderful that you are concerned enough to offer tangible support and trying to help in other ways as well. I would have loved to have you around when I was going through all those treatments. In addition to the physical issues I also had to deal with the pain and resentment of those lost "friends". You are invaluable to her in ways she may not even know - yet. Just being there for her is invaluable. Good for you!

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 101
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 101
I am so shocked to hear about your (x) 'friends'!! Do some people think cancer is contagious?? Can human beings be so selfish as to run away from a friends' anguish? All I have to say is: 'Good riddens.....'. I am so sorry to hear you had to go through so much. Thumbs up to your partner!!! Good thing you moved on to new circles. May the best of friends befallen your path in future. I sincerely hope you-and-cancer are now done with one another?? Strongs!


Adelle Ottavini, Cancer Editor
Cancer Website
Cancer Forum
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