I do!
My mom's birthday is March 12, and every year i try to do something special in memory of her. But i don't do things like visit a grave, instead i do something she would like to do with me if she were here! Sometimes i don't do it exactly on the 12th, but i'll do it near the date, but always with her in mind, and always with the idea of celebrating life.
Because her birthday is in March, i'll often plant seeds. When i was a little girl my mom explained to me how she planted something for each of her children... a white lilac for my sister, a maple tree for my brother, and a flowering almond tree for me. Now i plant a vegetable garden for her. She loved her vegetable garden... particularly cherry tomatoes. She also loved to bake bread, so sometimes on the morning of her birthday i bake the cinnamon swirl bread she taught me how to bake so many years ago. She also used to sew clothes for children in need. Sometimes i do that. For me these things have more meaning than leaving flowers by a grave.
I'm a big believer that when sad or difficult things happen in our lives, we absorb the energy. We must then do something with the energy or it works against us. Take for example, someone who had a hard childhood. It they don't find a way to direct the energy... say perhaps by becoming a good student and going on to be successful... then i believe that energy will work against them... they might become alcoholic or chronically depressed or something like that.
I view grief similarly. I lost an older sister when i was a kid, too. I did many things to show my love for her... i read the book she had given me, Jane Eyre. Couldn't get through it until she died, but now it is one of my favorites. I took the stamps she had collected for years in a shoebox, and put them into an album as a way of being closer to her, understanding her. I started liking philately because of it. But the best thing i did was learn how to be a good student. She had been a great student... Phi Theta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude... and i had been an inconsistent student at best until she died. Then i started thinking... could i do that? It was hard for me, but i did.
