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#303003 03/27/07 08:22 PM
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Megan M Offline OP
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I was interested to read your article "Is Cyber Love real Love". I belive that, like any relationship, you need to work at it. Last year, I did something that I swore I'd never do: not only did I get involved with a gentleman 10 years younger than myself, it is also a Cyber affair.

I've known him for some time before that, and we found ourselves talking more and more, and sharing more and more, and we really did just drift together.

Love took time, but it grew. I fully understand how people can be deceived, but then that can happen in "real life" as well. My boyfriend and I speak on the phone, via e-mail and every day via instant message. We both have webcams, so our conversations are mostly using a webcam.

Interstingly enough, we tend to talk through problems, rather than ingnore them, and we also are fully aware of the downside of each other.

At 40, yes, I think that I have found love. I know I'm not the most attractive person around, and, to be honest, neither is he, but we are happy and are making plans to meet.

Will what we have survive the meeting? I believe it will. But only because we've both been completely open and honest with each other.

I suppose, as I said, it's like any relationship. Honest, trust and loyalty will ensure that it continues and grows.

Have I found love? I believe so. I miss him if I don't "speak" to him each day, he does little things to make me feel loved and desired all the time (he's a rel closet romantic!), and he admitted to me first that he misses me when we don't "speak" each day.

We support each other in our daily lives, using words of support and love, and "virtual" cuddles (and a virtual cuddle, with loving words, works just as well when you're feeling down as a real one does).

I suppose love is how you find and nurture it. In that way, I suppose Cyber Love is as real as any love - espeically if you call it a long distance relationship. It does need a lot more work and trust - but then everything worthwile needs work.


Megan McConnell
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Megan M #303008 03/27/07 08:40 PM
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you fall in love with a person - not a body.. a person is as much a person behind a keyboard as in person. Congrats on your new found love and much luck on your first physical meeting..


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Mindy - #303051 03/28/07 01:03 AM
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Hi,

Megan,

Are you sure that this person is a man and is 10 years younger to you?

Mindy - #303052 03/28/07 01:04 AM
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Originally Posted By: Mindy86
you fall in love with a person - not a body.. a person is as much a person behind a keyboard as in person. Congrats on your new found love and much luck on your first physical meeting..


Yes. you fall in love with a personality.

Modern Woman #303148 03/28/07 10:55 AM
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Darlin she talks to the person on the phone and webcams with him - Thats about as sure as she can get without asking him to pull out his private parts smile


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Modern Woman #303257 03/28/07 07:52 PM
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Megan M Offline OP
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Definitely. Not only from webcam & phone & skype chats, but also from mutual friends who live in the UK.


Megan McConnell
Megan M #303299 03/29/07 12:01 AM
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It is OK then.

Modern Woman #305628 04/07/07 12:36 AM
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You have to be really careful with people you meet over the internet.
I work on cyber stalking cases and people that are married but posting ads on personals sites.
You really have to do your homework and check them out.

lasvegaspi #305653 04/07/07 05:54 AM
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Originally Posted By: lasvegaspi
You have to be really careful with people you meet over the internet.
I work on cyber stalking cases and people that are married but posting ads on personals sites.
You really have to do your homework and check them out.


that is very correct.

Modern Woman #307399 04/16/07 10:44 AM
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I appreciate your comment about my article. I agree, you must be very careful, which it sounds as though you are. I wish you the very best with your meeting. Just please do it in a very public place so if you ever feel threatened or uncomfortable in any way at all, you can leave. I pray your relationship will be as wonderful as it sounds.

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Yes. These precautions are necessary.

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HHMM...DANG...NOW...i MUST tell you of MY experience...if i may?? in'03 &'04 i was the assistant manager of a site for Indigenous People. it was my job to post wisdom, tidbits and to operate the chatroom. one evening this young lady came in and we began chatting, i explained my duties to her and to my surprise, she started coming in every evening. one evening sometime later, we talked about our heritage and we exchanged pictures and what she said tickled me. she asked if we were twins !!! odd comment you say?? i thought so too but...i DID however LIKE it. i must add, that the very first evening, there was something familiar about this young lady but...at the time...i didn't know WHAT it was.

management of the site was poor so...the site folded...however...i still had(i'll call her Flower)Flower's contact on my computer. after we left the site, we got on with our lives and forgot each other, she went one direction and i...the other.

in April of'05 i was visiting family. as i sat there, i had a Vision. i KNEW who Flower WAS/IS.

when i was 5 years old, i began having a dream about a little girl who was my playmate. i kept having the exact same dream every night for 21 years. when i was 26, i made a rash, stupid decision and while following through, i heard a voice. it was Flower asking me NOT to follow my plan. i didn't and...that night had the dream again and you guessed it...the same face in the picture in the chatroom; was the same face i saw in the dream !!! these two occurences were 26 years apart and yes...i have looked for Flower for almost 52 years.

last Sept.14th i was having an ill day...not for myself but...for Flower. i took a chance and emailed her to ask if she were ok. i got an answer 2 days later...on the 14th...she almost choked to death !!! we have corresponded on the computer and phone every day since !!! and YES...we HAVE met. we ARE in love !!! so...it CAN happen...and YES...it DID to us...AND...we WILL MARRY having a Traditional Cherokee Ceremony.


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Well, I don't think I would do it. 1. Person isn't telling you the truth. 2. Webcam isn't good ideas. (Person who may have friends joking around with you or others) Person isn't alone. 3.Someone is posing fake person which is dangerous. 4. Phone calls isn't good ideas and it is wasting time.

Mindy - #631539 09/22/10 11:05 PM
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I agree with Mindy. The person is just as real to you as you are to them. Maybe they are worried about you as much as the other way round? Cyberspace is an alternate to real space. You have real friends in the real world and cyber friends in cyberspace.

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I met my current boyfriend online via a free dating site. I used it hesitantly at the recommendation of a friend. After a couple of months all I was getting were either lewd emails on the site or ones with no personality. Then I met my boyfriend. He sent me an email that was neither lewd nor boring. It also showed he had actually read my profile. We continued talking through the sites email then moved onto our personal email accounts. After a month of emails and texting we started speaking on the phone. This went on for about a month. One day he announced he had bought a ticked to fly up to see me. Same state but being California it was still far away. When we met in person the connection we already felt was solidified! We moved in together after six months and a couple of weeks ago celebrated our one year anniversary! He and I were recently discussing this very topic and we both agree (of course we are a bit bias!) that online dating is quite ideal. Mainly because individuals are more inclined to get to know one another. This is especially true if there is a bit of distance. Plus, there is the added benefit of not meeting in a club or a bar where alcohol and possible outside influence from friends come into play. In our case we were on a site for dating. So, even though we took it slow we both knew the other was looking for something. Still, no matter how anyone finds a person to share their life with I wish them the best of luck. Love, true love, has really changed my life!

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