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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20
Finally got a call yesterday. The earliest appt they had was May 24. So I took it. I'm not sure what I can do now. I might be able to get some kind of same day appointment on an urgent basis. I'm so worn down by this... it's always an uphill battle just to get NORMAL healthcare. My therapist is on vacation for 2 weeks. It's possible he could have intervened on my behalf, but I don't know that for sure. Just wanted to let you know where I am with all this.

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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
I am glad that you have an appointment scheduled finally. Try to stay busy and spend as much time here as you can and we'll talk and help you get to the 24th.

Are you working? What kind of work do you do? I haven't been working since I've taking care of my 86 year old mother. My brother is taking her back to Oklahoma next Thursday so I will be able to start teaching again. We all take turns of 2 and 1/2 months each year so she doesn't have to go into a nursing home until it is absolutely neccessary. Spring is always a better time of year for me because the days are getting longer and I love to see all the sun, flowers and the birds. I seem to have more SAD type of depression because light and seasons really affect the most. Does the California sun seem to help you at all? Do you have family close by?

Do you have any plants, flowers, or pets that you take care of? It might be a good idea to get a nice plant or fish to watch and take of for the next month so that you can concentrate on something that might be enjoyable. There are some really beautiful red and blue frilly fish that fight if put together. When either one is put in an individual bowl, they are fun to watch. Somtimes people actually have a water flower growing in the top of the water. You can see alot about this and talk to people here at Bella on the fish site. They have some beautiful pictures there, as well. I really enjoy visiting there, too!!

Write back and let us know how you are doing and keep writing so that we know that you are okay. Minute by minute, the 24th gets closer. Keep the faith and stay close to us. Just keep talking and remember we are here for you. God bless you.

Trish

P.S. I see you changed your avitar to a spring bunny...kinda like a Poo friend. Cute! I really liked your last avitar, too! She was so innocent and pretty. Were did you get it?

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 20
Thanks for all the suggestions. It sure helps. I think I'm the kind of person who needs have encouragement from others to do things, especially to spend my time in more enjoyable / productive ways. "Self-talk" just isn't the same as hearing it from a friend. I tend to be a chronic worrier and can waste a lot of time worrying. Another reason encouragement from others can be important.

I'm trying to do some redecorating in my home. It's just me living here now. I've finally figured out how I want things to be which is a big start. I've got lots of boxes of papers I need to go through, crafts started but unfinished, etc., etc. Probably the same stuff found in the homes of moms across America! We had a chance to get rid of our file cabinet (it was really too big) a few years ago, so I hurriedly emptied the stuff into boxes, where they still sit today. Then when my son moved away to college, he took a chest of drawers I was using for crafts 'n' stuff, so that got emptied... Several years of divorce stress and depression left me uninterested in cleaning things out as well as sorting the "incoming" and that's added to the piles of papers to go thru. I'm sure most of it's outdated stuff, garbage, but I have so much trouble getting up the "enthusiasm" to start working on it.

I have a suspicion many of us have these rooms where we close the door when someone visits! Seems to go along with our busy lives with kids and this "information age" we live in. Sheesh! Just the mail alone!

So there's that...

I have a dog, my trusty side-kick, and we recently got a lovely new dog park in my town. So I took her there a couple of times last week. She's still not certain she's a dog (golden retrievers a very much people-dogs), so that's a project she & I are going to work on.

I do love gardening. I just bought a couple of tomato plants. I've never put in a vegetable garden, just flowers and tomatoes for summer. Last fall I put my halloween pumpkin out next to the shed and let it "rot" and just last week I noticed pumpkin leaves where the pumpkin used to be. So this will be an unfolding mystery for me. Never done this before but my step-dad has -- that's where I got the idea.

My bunny avitar is actually Rabbit from the Winnie the Pooh stories. The picture of the little girl I had up before is a photograph by Anne Geddes. You can do a Google Image search and find many of her photographs. She specializes in children and babies. A very gifted woman.

Thanks again for your concern and encouragement! I can't tell you how much it means to me. Look forward to learning more about you as well, k?

Kath


Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Hi! I'm glad that you have your trusty side kick, your golden retriever to take "you" for walks. I used to have a dog that would take "me" for walks, too and that WAS fun, but we did not have a new dog park. You are very lucky to have a place like that to walk her. What is her name and how long have you had her? I have a cat named "Kelly", which we got when my son was in 2nd grade. Matthew graduated from HS in 2004, so Kelly would be 13 years old.

Matt went to college 3 semesters and decided to join the police department, like his father. He has been there over a year and a half as a cadet, because he started at 18. June 9th he starts the academy. Unlike you, however, my son hasn't taken anything OUT of the house; he just keeps bringing stuff IN. He played drums in a band all through high school, so the band stuff takes up half the basement and exercise equipment takes the other half. As you would say, sheesh!

You said your son emptied dresser drawers to take with him to college. Where did he go to school? Is he finished? Does he come home very often? My oldest son went to Univ of Md. and graduated 2004. He moved to N.Carolina 2 & 1/2 yrs. ago, bought a house, met a girl, got engaged, etc. and now they are expecting. Unfortunately, as close as we USED to be, I never get to see him now. I don't know what kind of grandmother the girl is going to let me be to their baby, so I wish I could just go backwards a few years and have him still live close. Isn't that selfish?

Well, those boxes that you packed with the stuff from the dresser and the boxes of papers from the empty file cabinet remind me of all the storage boxes that I have in various rooms that I plan to use for different projects in my house. You are right, many women have these "boxes" of ideas taking up space. There has been a conversation going on here at Bella about clutter and you and I would fit right in!

I like your idea of redecorating! That is what I've been saying to my husband for a few weeks. LOL I would like to just get a big slide to put out my window into a trash truck that I could just close my eyes and start dropping down the slide to get rid of. Talk about lazy and disinterested! I don't want to box it and carry it out, just get rid of it. Then there would be room to clean, paint, and maybe put a new piece of furniture.

I do crafts, or DID, so I have half finished stuff, too. I started putting photo albums together for our 4 kids before they started having kids (The oldest one had her 1st and was doing these great scrapbooks so I thought I could at least put pictures in a bought photo book.) Now I have 2 totes full of pictures and albums, sitting in my bedroom, along with all my crafts, and painting materials. Well, the room that you mentioned that gets all the junk, that has nowhere to go? That's our bedroom. It is ridiculous. I think when Mother goes home Thursday, that is the first room that will be GUTTED! LOL

My dad did alot gardening and I learned alot about flowers and plants from him. He always had flowers all around his vegetable garden to attract the good insects. He died in 1998, at 87, and that is when MY real spirit, "his sunshine" lost its sparkle. I was daddy's little girl all my life (the only girl with six brothers), and his death knocked me off my feet. That is when I started having alot of health problems, depression being a big part.

I'm getting tired so I'd better stop and proof read this. wink

By the way, I like Ann Geddes work. I had no idea that the little girl you used as you avitar was hers. I'll have to check it out! Take care of yourself. By the way, did you get a chance to check out the fish site here at Bella? God bless you, Kath!

Trish



Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
I don't have anything to say about depression (I've written articles about it, but never experienced it myself) -- but I have to say how COOL it is that you're all so supportive and honest! What a kind place to be when you have problems.

It almost makes me wish I had depression, so I could offer encouragement and really understand what you're all talking about! (just kidding, ha ha.)


Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 154
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 154
try some anti-depressant .... it will help smile

Good luck wink


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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 53
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Amoeba
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 53
I'm new here and I just thought it would be good to be apart of this. I'm on the highest dose of Effexor and am not feeling well at all. I've been on it for over a year now. I've tried Zoloft, Prozac and Paxel. None of them have worked and I've given them more than enough time to let them work. I called my doctor today to get something different because I feel as though I'm going crazy. That's something very hard to admit. I don't talk to anyone about my problem, I guess I'm ashamed of it and in denial too. I look forward to feeling better....someday!

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Hi, Chris! HANG IN THERE! There are LOTS of excellent people here who know how you feel and will keep you grounded to let you know that you are NOT going crazy.

Take care of yourself. I'll be back later. wink

Trish

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 53
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
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Posts: 53
Thank you for that. I REALLY need that right now.

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,726
Hi, Chris! I was wondering if you work, what kind of work do you do? Is it full time or part time? I substitute teach but luckily school is out next Friday and I can start to enjoy my plants and flowers. Do you do any gardening? It seems every year that I do less and less. A few years ago I started having hanging pots rather than flower beds so that I wouldn't have to bend over to weed. So far it has been great! smile

We have finally gotten rain in Maryland. I think I heard that we have been very dry for the last 4 months. Our grass is even starting to turn the brown color of Texas grass. LOL (I grew up in Texas). Anyway, with all the rain, my hanging baskets have been "flooded". I have actually had to go out and pour out the excess rain, because we have had so much at one time that it can't even drain quick enough.

I have enjoyed sleeping in the rain, though. It is so soothing. laugh Actually I did not sleep in the rain. I enjoyed sleeping WHILE it was raining. wink Now the sky is blue and the wind is breezy and the birds are singing. All the mama birds are teaching their babies to fly and it sounds like a jungle in my backyard with all the different birds calling and babies chirping. I actually saw a blackbird (starling, I think) head for a nest of cardinals that were chirping for food to see if she could help. Mama starling was teaching her baby to eat and fly but mama cardinal chased her away. wise move, probably! wink

I hope that you are doing better now and can take some time to stop and SEE what is happening around you that is different than it was a few weeks ago. I think that is what they meant when they said we need to take time to stop and "smell the roses" because my roses haven't started smelling very fragrant yet, but they sure ARE pretty to LOOK at! laugh

Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing and what is up with you! smile

Peace and friendship,

Trish

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