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#300898 03/20/07 06:52 AM
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Wolf
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Wolf
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I saw a post made by a girl saying that she very much wanted a vibrator. But as she was less than 18 years, the legal age to buy one, she asked her Mom to buy her one. The mom agreed to buy a vibrator for her teen daughter if the daughter paid for it.

This flabbergasts me. What is the appropriate behavior of a mother in such situation?

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Zebra
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Zebra
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Why, what's wrong with that? Obviously it would depend on the age of the girl, but if the mother is responsible, and has educate her daughter well, and has taught her that her body is not to be guilt-ridden or considered shameful - what's the problem?

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Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
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I don't see a problem. Would you rather pay for:
1) A vibrator
2) Birth control pills or other forms of birth control
3) A baby born to a teenage girl?
4) Counseling for your teenage daughter after she has an abortion....



Jeanette Stingley - Women's Lit
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Gecko
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I can see why someone would be surprised to hear this - I was a little shocked, but when you really think about it, it's nice that they can be so honest and comfortable about something completely healthy and natural. Of course I'm assuming the mom isn't partying w/the daughter and maintains proper boundaries.

And JeanetteNorman is right - think of other consequences!

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Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
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Mom did exactly the right thing. Why is this such a shock? American puritanical morality at work again.


Jan Goldfield

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Gecko
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I think it's a bit of a shock that the girl was ABLE to be so open and honest about such a private subject. And the mom was also able to be open about it...alot of children for one wouldn't even consider talking to their parents about such things, and even if they did, alot of parents wouldn't be open to hearing about it.

As far as what the mother did was right or not?... I would say she did the right thing.

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Chimpanzee
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Quote:
I can see why someone would be surprised to hear this - I was a little shocked, but when you really think about it, it's nice that they can be so honest and comfortable about something completely healthy and natural. Of course I'm assuming the mom isn't partying w/the daughter and maintains proper boundaries.

And JeanetteNorman is right - think of other consequences!
by "Nosy"

Quote:
I think it's a bit of a shock that the girl was ABLE to be so open and honest about such a private subject. And the mom was also able to be open about it...alot of children for one wouldn't even consider talking to their parents about such things, and even if they did, alot of parents wouldn't be open to hearing about it.

As far as what the mother did was right or not?... I would say she did the right thing.
by "Lala21"

I liked both of these responses. I hope my daughter and I can have this open and trusting a relationship when she gets to be a teen that she can come to me with anything no matter how shocking it may seem at first. And I hope I'll at least be open-minded about it.

The only problem I have with the Mom buying the vibrator is that to me (personally) vibrators hurt! I know not everyone finds them painful, but I hope the mom at least took the time to use this as a discussion opening. Because a young girl could have a quite painful experience with some toys if the only people she is getting the education from are her other teen friends and magazines!


Michelle Taylor
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Shark
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Doesn't it seem odd that a young teen could be that aware of her emotional and physical needs. I may live under a rock, but it seems to me that the girl has either been reading way too much, or is having interesting discussions with friends or boys. Either way, I'm not saying she shouldn't be allowed to have what she says she needs but, that shouldn't be the only requirement. Some follow up and directional shifting may be needed. I have a son of similar age, I really can't say that I would buy him girlie mags. But, I understand your points.

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Gecko
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A really good points - hopefully the mom makes a point to keep a discussion going w/the daughter about sexual issues.

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Gecko
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To be honest, in today's world, it's not odd or strange for a young woman, or boy to be aware of these needs, physical or emotional. In today's world it is actually fairly common. And unfortunately, there are kids as young as 11 and 12 that are aware of these things, and are beginning to experiment. Which I don't think is a good thing, but the fact is that girls and boys ARE going to do things like this, and all we can do is teach them the consequences of it, teach them how to be safe, and hopefully they wait until they are mature enough to be responsible in everyway, physically, mentally, emotionally etc. If they aren't going to wait, then the least a parent can do is be open like this woman was with her daughter. Who knows, maybe this young girl would have turned to a boy if her mother hadn't bought this vibrator. I don't know the whole story, but there are so many ways of looking at it.

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