BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse I was molested at 13 (my story)

But you see, that's not my job...its Gods. I know that he is in control, and that one day my Uncle is going to stand before the Lord and confess everything that he did to me, (he will pay for it). I don't know if you read the rest of the post, but I decided not to confront him. The bible says that we are to love our ememyies no matter what they do to us, and it's God job to deal with them. I feel a lot better about this from the first time I started this forum. From what the first message said, I did prey about it, and God answered it through a preaching I heard a couple days ago. My Uncle is no longer my problem and I refuse to let him put me down.

And a message to others that have been abused in the past,....you dont have to let this ruin your life either. You are in control of yourself, and they are not in control of you. It might take sometime but you can do it.

It sounds like you have a very strong faith in God and that's great that it is working for you and helping you through your process. While I understand your saying that "The bible says that we are to love our ememyies no matter what they do to us, and it's God job to deal with them," I also believe that God does not expect anyone to stay in an abusive relationship. I also believe that he understands our emotions and that the process to healing is such that our emotions must be addressed. It's not wrong to be angry, hurt, confused etc. It's part of our process. I believe that God walks with us on our journey. But, I also believe that he doesn't expect us to hide what we feel or ignore what we feel. Abuse digs up many strong and powerful emotions.

It sounds like the way you are processing is working great for you. Thank you for sharing. The process to healing will be different for everyone. No person's journey is like that of another. Some of us may process quickly while some may do so gently and slowly. Some of us may decide to cry while others will not shed a tear. Every person's process is their own and no one process is right or wrong.

O, I totally agree with you. Though I am a Christian, it does make me upset and angry at times, but I look at what happened in a different way. I don't view this as something that changed me in a bad way, but that I am stronger person because of it. I like to look on the positive side of situations. If I was to make a list of the good and the bad I got out of this situation, I would say that I would have a lot more good than bad. Though I would never wish it on anyone, I am glad that God picked me to go through what I did, rather than have it be someone else.

I liked how you said that you "like to look on the positive side of situations." That's how I prefer to view things as well. I liken it to walking on a journey and gathering jewels as I walk. The jewels are the positive gems that we may find along the way. Perhaps for one person, the jewel is having coffee with a close friend. Perhaps for another person, the jewel is time spent with nature. The jewel might also be a hug from a loved one. I can guarantee that there are jewels to gather along the way. Once we pick up those jewels along the way, we can place them within the pocket of our hearts. The jewels are the positive things in our lives.

Hi hon
I'm Racquel, the former Abuse Survivors editor here on Bella. I went thru a very simular sitch. I think confronting is a good thing. Confront, confront, confront. ...I do think that doing it in writing, perhaps, is more effective and less stresful on you. Granted, you can't make anyone read a letter (or email etc) but u can't 'make' them listen when you talk to them also. See, abusers honestly don't think they've done a damn thing wrong. They... are sick sick individuals. They either a) deny to themselves they ever did such a thing, b) think it's 'normal' or c) turn everyyyyything around on you.. including hatred, name calling, yelling, screaming, "you're nutts" etc..! So, in my case, I stopped down to my step fathers bizz he owns... he was not there... and I took time to use a sharpie and write "child molester" on all these legal pads placed all over the place. (he owns a sewing machine store) anyway, I hightaled it outta there but lemme tell u how friggin' liberating and great it felt. ha! It was like confronting without the actual pain of face to face confronting. Most (I say all but we'll say 'most' here) abusers are NEVER going to own up to what they did... and trying to 'make' them, or get some kind of apology or empathy from them is like pulling teeth. They just aint right... not normal... sick... If they were good ppl with conscious .. they wouldn't have abused in the first place. Anyway, good luck to you!
Blessings*
Racquel

that really sux you know? i was molested also but from the time i was 3 until i was 14 by my father...he did all kinds of things to me..it was horrible i didnt know waht to do..i started cutting myself at age 13...i soon got help but then i just got worse after 3 months and started cutting again and doing drugs and develpoed an eating disorder my dad moved out when i was 14 but the last time seen him i was fifteen thats the day i went to the hospital for trying to over dose and kill myself i go to court against my father in june on the 19th...all i can say now is..things are hard to get over..=/

Lacies,
How are you feeling about going to court? It is definitely hard to get over the abuse we endured. Are you in therapy right now?