I think of suicide manytimes. Then I think of my afterlife and think that suffering here is better.
Having a strong faith is very good. It gives you something to anchor onto. I've been exactly where you are- thinking about suicide and that it would be better if done with. But ultimately it was my faith that gave me the "handle" to try and work through this.
Let me tell you, when you and your Dr. hit the right medications, and you are where you need to be in therapy - it will
get better! I liken it to being in a dark pit; in the very beginning when you are diagnosed you see a little pinpoint of light that is your hope, but as you climb and struggle to fight this disease (which it is
a disease) the light gets brighter, and the hope greater.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
<img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" />