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#280154 11/10/06 10:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
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Wolf
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Wolf
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Posts: 5,004
Buddhism teaches compassion. Why then your posts many times reveal hidden anger? To be compassionate is the first step. Have you arrived there?

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#280155 11/10/06 11:23 AM
Joined: Mar 2006
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Zebra
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Zebra
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No. But then again, I never claimed it to be so....I am merely saying I am striving to follow the Eightfold Path. I sometimes go astray, but then again, who doesn't....? I do however, practise Compassion. But I am not alone in this, either...

Being Buddhist does not make me perfect, you know, and I would never claim to be, either. I'm sure other Buddhists would say the same...Just like followers of any Religion, in fact.

Are you sure you haven't mistaken my frankness for anger? Believe me or not (as you wish - you have my word for it) I very, very rarely get angry. Where have I demonstrated anger?
Is it possible you might have mis-interpreted my intentions?

Just curious...


#280156 11/11/06 08:28 AM
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Wolf
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Wolf
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Do not think that I am taking the discussion in another direction. They are related.

When you write, you sound superior.
When you talk about Buddhism, you sound superior.
I remember my school mistress after reading many of your posts.

Sometimes we are not aware that instead of talking and teaching, we may gain more by learning From somebody else.
To immediately counter any statement is not a good habit. That shows lack of contemplation. Those who contemplate, think and answer.

I have been reading your posts and posts by few others with great interest. My teacher is making me do this. I know that. Why I do not know.

My failures in my life taught me onething- I may not have been right at all the times. I may have been wrong also. Fate did have a role to play, but my mistakes were great contributors.

In my inital years under my teacher, I used to get reminders of my mistakes. My mind used to go back and tell me how I went wrong. Now that phase is gone.

Request- Please be compassionate in your words. Sometimes sad people do not need teaching, but a shoulder to cry upon.

Sometimes those who are talking a lot and showing their knowledge are not informed but hide their complexes.

A human being has many facets. Because you are essentially a good human being, I wrote this. I would not have otherwise.

I respect you for tolearting my bad english. Thanks.

#280157 11/11/06 10:07 PM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 829
Parakeet
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Parakeet
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Ahhh, men. Ahhhhh, women. I was just discussing this very subject with some women that I know and we have all passed 50. Is it education? Is it money or is it just self esteem? Not a single one of us is the least bit concerned about our husbands straying to "more beautiful(I suggest this means YOUNGER) women..now do not misunderstand me. I am not suggesting that none of us think we have men who have not/will not/ or do not stray. I am Saying we are not threatened by the notion or the act.

Several of these women have had younger lovers(yawn I say)and have not confessed to the husband(although husbands are notorious confessors). Are we out of the mainstream? Maybe..Maybe we can take care of ourselves in all the ways that matter to us and a man is not necessarily neccessary to that equation...I have been married 39 years next week. I love the man and I like to have him around. But he is NOT the end all and be all to my existance...what do looks have to do with it...well, nothing that I can see.


If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker
#280158 11/14/06 05:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
Newbie
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Newbie
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Posts: 9
Quote:
Ok. Why do men who themselves have stopped looking handsome expect their wives to be beautiful at all ages? Why do men go to prostitutes? Do not they hate buying a body for some hours? Why are they not ashamed of their conduct? Why sex has become a commodity for men? They should hate themselves. But they do not. They boast about all their misdeeds.


You know.. I, myself, am one person who understands "to an extent" the necessities of a womans heart from the wonderful time I've had with my Aubrey. I dont fully realize these needs.. But the "beauty" aspect, I do understand.. Really. How can ANY girl feel beautiful when media makes their OWN beauty on a computer out of an already NATURALLY pretty woman. Just look at the Dove commercial.. Its very true..

However, onto my point.

You speak as though EVERY man has a complex that is only satisfied by the collection of notches on one's bed.. Or the numbers posted in a black notepad.. Can you really say this with truth in your heart? Do you know for certain every man's heart? Or do you see the Men with the minds of BOYS?

I've promised my life, my full life, and effort to one girl. I have never strayed from her, nor will I. The way I see it, she will be beautiful to me as long as we both share in the love that we've found and live out. Shes beautiful to me because of the way she makes me feel, so I guess it is kind of selfish in some aspects, because it makes me feel great too, but really.. Her apperance, is beautiful, her heart makes her gorgeous. I dont really know why guys feel like sex and beauty are the only things of worth in a girl, or that "worth" is even adaquate to speak of when talking about a girl. But I can guess its because they havent figured out that her heart accentuates her physical beauty.

ON to the matter I am concerned about. WHY do WOMEN not believe in the true words from MEN that truely love them? I do love Aubrey, with my full heart.. And shes beginning to see that shes truely beautiful, and its not me who makes her beautiful, i was just the catalyst for her to see it within herself, because shes never had anyone telling her this befor.

So, yes, it is common, to you the first poster.. But it is not without help.

And certainly not nessicarily healed by MEN. I do, however, say that we help, some of us.

#280159 11/14/06 12:05 PM
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Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
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Lovely post. Congratulations.

#280160 11/14/06 03:28 PM
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Newbie
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Newbie
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I'd rather it be taken to heart not considered "just talk" <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> If you will..

I like to better understand my girlfriend and at the same time help if I can.

You take care ok?

#280161 11/15/06 01:06 AM
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Wolf
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Wolf
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It was taken to heart.

#280162 11/15/06 04:28 PM
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Suppose, for a moment, all human beings were born sans sight. Without our vision, to see a woman's physical appearance, what then would we consider a woman's beauty? The tone of a voice, her particular touch, her individual scent, would these then determine a society's judgement as to who would be considered beautiful? Or, would a woman's actions, as a human being, play a far greater role, in that consideration?

As to men, and the whys of their straying ways...I feel it has more to do with the male ego. A man, who begins to feel less attractive, physically, or feels he is some how less than other men, perhaps one who is aging, or one who has self-doubts, and low self esteem, one who greatly needs to feel important, may stray merely in order to boost a flagging ego. His doing so has nothing to do with the woman who is his life partner. It has to do with something lacking within himself. If this is the case, and he feels his woman is not giving him what he needs, to feel worthy, as a man, he looks elsewhere. But, he will never find self worth in someone else. He must find it within himself.

Last edited by JeannineEvelyn; 11/15/06 04:32 PM.

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#280163 11/15/06 04:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 63
Amoeba
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Adamc gets my respect. But sadly, not all men are like you. On the contrary, there are so few of you these days.

My view of men may be a little cruel. When it comes to love, sex, and relationships, I think men have a hard time controlling themselves. correct me if I'm wrong, but men has a greater insatiable lust than women. women tend to be more reasonable. and so even if their husbands have grown white hair and all that, their sense of reason tells them that they've committed themselves to this marriage, surrendering body and soul and heart.

For men, however, well... they're not the one who gets pregnant, they're not the one who carries babies in their wombs for nine years. they're not the ones who hold virginity as sacred (well, not all women nowadays think like this). but, anyway, a woman's sacrifice is greater than a man's when entering into marriage.

Actually, my thoughts are bordering into a rather uncivil discussion. i'll stop here. i just hope you got what I was saying... or trying to say... lol...

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