Thank you so much, both of you, for your mail. I really appreciate you taking the time to write.
I'm sure that I'll be mailing you often; I really find it helps to be talking to people who understand what I'm going through. I'm always here also if you ever need advice, a chat or to let of steam about something!!!
Take care. x-x-x
Reality: I'm really sorry about your so called 'friend', I can't believe some people. I have a sister in law (brother's wife: 2nd marriage), who herself has been through 2miscarriages (with 1st husband) at 6&7months. When I found out that my baby had 'no heartbeat', I called my sis (husband was at work...mobile always off!!!) we then returned home, told my mum, then called my brother (didn't want him to think he was the last to know; he has a complex like that), I also specifically asked of him not to tell the children as I would tell my little girl in my own time, my sisters youngest 2 aged 13 and 10 also had no idea. Anyhow he came with his wife; his son; her daughter (who is the same age as my little girl and in the same class at school). That day they seemed so sympathetic (my brother is usually quite good in a crisis). He kept saying that they needed to ï¿½get it outï¿½ that I should call the hospital, that they couldnï¿½t expect me to ï¿½carry itï¿½ any longerï¿½I told him that it wasnï¿½t a bad tooth that needed pulling ï¿½outï¿½. Although I got 2txï¿½s from him that night, one asking how I was; one asking sarcastically if mum was over reacting!! I never heard from them for the next couple of daysï¿½while I was in hospital the next couple of days they were unaware, they were too busy sight seeing (his wife is relatively new into the country!!!). Now I know that heï¿½s a brother and has his own life, but weï¿½ve always been close (until he married this woman!). When I gave birth to my little girl (he was still married to wife No1), she had breathing problems and was in special care unit for a few days, he was by my side (more than my husband), he cried with me, supported meï¿½he was by big bro!!! This timeï¿½well she (wife) planned to go to the Zoo, so they did. They never called or anything. On the Sunday (last saw him Thursday), he was meeting up with my dad, he was then told and came to see me. Sunday night I came out of hospital and the whole family came to my family home. My brother came down saying that we should call my nephew down (sisï¿½s son) as heï¿½s telling my little girl about the babyï¿½ï¿½I said well thatï¿½s funny because he doesnï¿½t even knowï¿½. Well against my wishes they had told my nephew Broï¿½s son and step daughterï¿½my sisters children were told by themï¿½ but didnï¿½t have the courage to ask us if it was true, so all weekend they were unsure and continued with this knowledge alone! My sisï¿½s boy wasnï¿½t telling my little girl, but my brother was over exaggerating. I told them that they were wrong in not respecting my wishes in not telling their own children until my daughter was toldï¿½his wife replied that it doesnï¿½t make any difference to her daughter anywayï¿½I was so hurtï¿½I know that the reality is that her daughter is 6, yes it probably doesnï¿½t make a difference to her, but if she had told my little girl while at school it wouldï¿½ve made a lot of difference. Anyway they left that dayï¿½For the next week we did not see each other as I stayed home (my mum brought my little girl to school and back for me. Later that week I told my little girl and Tuesday was her first day back at school after being told, also the first day I took her to school. I was on my way to the school office to notify them, of what had happened, just in case my little girl got upset at school. We came face to face with sister-in-law, but she walked straight past me, not even acknowledging me. I was walking with one of the other mumï¿½s from class who even said good morning to her, who she ignored also. I couldnï¿½t believe it. I sent my brother a TX saying that he should teach his wife some ï¿½humanityï¿½!!! I was so upset. Despite the grief and hard times I was going through, she had gone back to my brother and told him that I had ignored her!!! They never attended my babies funeral, which also upset meï¿½donï¿½t get me wrong, I didnï¿½t want her there anyway but I am very hurt with my brotherï¿½So family can be just as hurtful as so called friendsï¿½My mother/father-in-law also didnï¿½t attend the funeral (we donï¿½t talk but my husband asked them to come, which with all honesty would have broken the ice between us), they should have come for their sonï¿½mother-in-laws comment was it wasnï¿½t a baby yet anyhow-just a piece of flesh! This is what Iï¿½ve had to deal with, on top of everythingï¿½My brother up to date still doesnï¿½t speak with me directly and recently refused to even come to my house to pick his son up (sister in law No1 had brought him along)ï¿½I canï¿½t believe that people can be so insensitive as to add to my grief in this wayï¿½ (I know that usually my brother wouldnï¿½t act in this way)ï¿½
Well thanks again for reading on and listeningï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½
Best wishes to you all