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#265307 08/27/06 04:07 PM
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So me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year, and everything, including our sexlife was great. But a month ago, the condom broke during sex. I took the morning after pill, and thought that was the end of it - its happened before, with no problems. But then whenever we tried having sex after this event, as soon as he put a condom on, he lost his erection, cos he was so paranoid about it breaking again. So after a week of this, we just went back to basics, i.e, handjobs. Then when I came on my period 2 weeks later, I thought great, he won't be paranoid anymore! =) but now he hasn't even tried to put a condom on. He just expects me to give him a handjob. I've tried hinting at it, like when he came over to mine, I asked if he was bringing condoms, but to no effect. It's been a month since we last had sex and it's really worrying me. He's still as affectionate as ever, and says he loves me, but I feel so low about it, and don't know what to say. He's started to notice, and when he asks whats wrong, I just say nothing. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

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#265308 08/27/06 10:28 PM
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G
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G
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I would sit him down and have a talk with him about it. Tell him how you feel and while, even though he is still be being affectionate as ever in other ways, you miss being intimate with him. Tell him his fears are natural but that he should not let them take over that aspect of your relationship, that you love him and want to work through this with him.

#265309 08/28/06 06:35 AM
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Wolf
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Why not try BCPs?

#265310 08/28/06 04:56 PM
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Parakeet
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Parakeet
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there are propholactic films and foams that may be used with condoms...the likelihood of a condom breaking is verrrrry remote...so one and foam should do more than what is actually required..


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Dorothy Parker
#265311 08/28/06 08:04 PM
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Shark
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may be this would be a great oppertunity to talk marrage (commitment) if thats where you want the relationship to go!!! that way if life happens life happens but if you dont want to go that way after a year why are you with him? Or maybe he doesnt want kids...if you feel the same way then heres what i did IUD this is a form of brith control that last up to 7years!!! but this will increase your chances of getting a STD so if your not mongamis and-or he isnt either then DONT DO THIS!! up if your in a committed relationship and you trust him then... go for it. if you dont know what IUD is pm me and i will explane but im not sure what is premitted on the forum so.... cant explan here.


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#265312 08/28/06 10:04 PM
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Chipmunk
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Can you go on borth control pills? That would be the next venue I would explore.


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#265313 09/05/06 09:20 PM
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Gecko
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Or even better, condoms AND pills...

#265314 09/07/06 03:28 AM
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Wolf
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Wolf
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This man has developed fear of condoms. What katja says is good- condoms and pills.

#265315 09/07/06 04:21 AM
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Zebra
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Quote:
.....He's started to notice, and when he asks whats wrong, I just say nothing. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Well silly you!
Communication is the fundamental underlying crux of any relationship.
He's not psychic - and men occasionlly have more difficulty than women at 'opening up' - !
If you don't speak your mind, and tell him exactly how you feel - dissatisfied, rejected, abandoned, used, unfulfilled - then you have nobody to blame - for the lack of communication - but you.

Be fair.
Open up, discuss, and sort it.

#265316 09/09/06 02:15 PM
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We've discussed the idea of me going on the pill, but I don't like the idea, cos everyone I know who is on the pill has either put on weight, or got terrible moodswings. So he said he didn't want that either and wasn't going to pressure me.
And he actually tried to use a condom the other day, but he just lost his erection again. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
So now I'm back where I started and I still don't know what to do.

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