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Joined: Mar 2006
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It seems like I know a lot of people who just got married because they felt like they should... Right age, right stage in life, wanted to have children, etc.

Is this common or is just the city I live it?


Emily Zachery
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Gecko
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I would imagine it may be fairly common...after all, the culture of this society is to get married. Girls are often raised to think that their wedding day is this fantastic, magical thing. Everywhere in society is the message that you need to find someone to be in a relationship with, if you're not in a relationship/don't get married, there's something wrong with you, etc.

And then there are the people who reach a certain age where I think they just lose hope and settle for someone so they don't have to be alone.

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I WANT TO GET MARRIED, SO MY BED IS NICE AND WARM.

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I bought a heated mattress pad to solve that problem. Plus it has the added bonus of being way less high maintenance than a boyfriend or husband. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What are some of the other reasons you've heard for getting married? One reason I hear a lot is to have kids.


Emily Zachery
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Companionship. That's why I'd like to get married and what I miss about my relationship with my ex. I don't want kids, I don't much care about sex, but I'd like to love someone and know they love me, spend a lot of time with someone who's my absolute best friend, just plain have another person who's a part of my life. And somehow Platonic friends aren't quite the same, nor is my current situation of living with my mom.

There are times when I think I wouldn't even need to be passionately in love with someone--as long as we both really care about each other and get on well and are best friends, and as long as we're both 100% committed, that would make a happy marriage for me.

It's not so much that I'm all "OMG I AM ALONE WHAT SHALL I DO I MUST HAVE A MAN" as that I found out with my ex how nice it is just to have someone who's always there, and I miss that. I enjoy my solitude, but not ALL the time, and not at the expense of not having someone other than my relatives who cares about me. But then, I guess that's not really "for the sake of getting married"--i.e. being able to say that I am--it's more for the sake of the benefits that come of it. Which is really anyone's reason, I suppose.

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Jellyfish
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sometimes you can get married and your bed can be cold as well when your partner is unfeeling towards you...but alot of people get married to start a family and they feel like they are inlove with their partner and they really cant see themselves with anyone else

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I guess I just always considered getting married to start a family the same as getting married for the sake of being married. After all, if you want to raise kids you can be a foster parent, adopt, get artificially inseminated, or marry someone who already has kids.


Emily Zachery
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i would like to get married one day when i find the right person, but i do not want to have any children within a marriage because i already have one and have no feelings whatsoever to have any more in the future, i would like to be able to enjoy the other person and build a bond with them and would like to be able to enjoy life with them, i have seen marriages that survive having children in them and some that actually dont, but just because someone marries someone with a child/children doesnt mean in any way that they will be raising them, depending on the child's age and his or her parents relationship with each other, generally the parenting usually resides with these two, the person who has generally married to this person with the child/children can only help every so often but will never be seen as a real parent since the child already has two living parents, but this case can be different especially when a parent who is not in the childs life anymore has never fullfilled a certain role and the child is of an age where he/she can see that person that their mom or dad is with as a person who wants to help them in their development and will be more receptive to it, but they have to like the person first before they will be open to any kind of parenting skills this new person has.


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