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Joined: Apr 2006
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Gecko
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Gecko
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I meant to say Priscilla...sorry my bad. To assume that Elvis & Priscilla didn't have sex until that much later in there relationship would be ignorance.

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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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no idea....but i know of a 14 year old girl that is in and out of court here in town because her mothers boyfriend was found out to have molested her since she was 4 years old, he was cheating on her mom with countless women and her mom kicked him out but still had contact with him but once the girl found out he left she found the courage to tell her mother, who asked the guy who has blantantly denied it this girl had a 18 year old boyfriend and this guy would often get jealous when she was with him and would often ask her if she's thought about sex and would let her watch porn tapes, and began bribing her with things like new shoes, a cell phone, clothing, in exchange for her giving him oral sex and often would try to "fix" her underwear when she was wearing tight clothing..he told her mom that she was lieing on him because she didnt want to see her mother happy..they both took lie detector tests and he failed and she passed. later on he tried to bribe her boyfriend into covering up for him by saying that him and her were having sex from the start of them dating and that she told him that he was the only one and that she was a virgin when they met....they have been in and out of court because his lie detector test can not be used in the courthouse here and the girl was picked up by social services to live with her father, the girl sees her mother on weekends and has a younger sister who continues to live with her mother..she has been in and out of court with no justice served on this guy because they claim they do not have enough facts and this girls mother does not want her to testify against her boyfriend because she still loves him despite whats been done to her own daughter and the countless cheating with other women, her mother continues to see this guy occasionally for dinner dates and lets him spend the night occasionally to talk about things, as she puts it and her mother lives next door and she is hiding this relationship from her because she is afraid of her mothers bad opinion because she has told her she wants to shoot the guy on the spot, this guy has said on more than one occasion that if this girl testifies that he will kill her and this girl's mother has not sought any help from the police or gotten an restraining order to protect her own daughter, she acts as if she doesnt believe this little girl and has asked her specific things about his size down there and the girl gave her correct answers to everything, this guy has manipulated the woman into believing that he still loves her and even asked her to marry him and wants to take all of them on a vacation sometime and the mother emptied out his bank account and all his saving as retribution for his wrong doing upon her but not against her daughter yet, she claims she did not know the molestation was even going on they were together for nine years and it seems she has turned a eye away from things she should have seen, she is trying to get full custody of their younger daughter but continues to go back and forth about whether she really wants to do it or not this guy owns a business next door to a local school house and its been brought up that he may have molested another girl..his family says they fully support him because they never liked his girlfriend and believes he is a good person and feel molesting young girls is not in this character, he continually used his influence on this young girl by telling her he loved her and only wanted the best for her and even told her she should wait untill marriage before having sex but felt like she needed to know what she was gonna be getting into, and maipulated her into thinking that what he was doing was ok from an young age and that nothing was wrong with it, this guy was a manipulator from the very beginning and probaly sought after his girlfriend because she had a young child and was single and alone.

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Chipmunk
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No its not ignorance at all priscilla has said it herself on many occasions.

It is also stated several times in her book Elvis and me(it was a source of frustration for her) and it is also in the movie Elvis and me. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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The whole situation is so sad....This poor kid dosent even have the support of her own mother who in my opinion is not a mothers [email]ar@@hole![/email] She dosent deserve her children and they should be taken off her permenantley.

This girl is going to have major issues when she grows up and I believe her "mother" will get her karma as this girl will not want much to do with her.

Joined: Mar 2006
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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youre right this situation is sad...my roomate is friends with both of them, he is no longer in contact with them but this woman would call and just ask him did you speak to him today, and what did he say about me and would admit to still loving him, and the guy would also call my roomate asking the same questions and trying to keep tabs on this woman since she has another boyfriend "supposedly" but no where in either conversation does either mention this little girl or how she is or what is being done to help her, they only care about themselves, and i have talked to the girl not about this particular subject but she is very quiet and always has been and is keeping things pretty much inside her but she is very traumatized by the situation.... i hope this girl gets justice and soon

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I've been avoiding this thread like the plague; but it finally reeled me in. <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I tried to figure out for years what was in my rapist's head. For a long time I excused him by blaming myself. Since mine was a date-rape scenario, it was pretty easy to do. I kept questioning "Did I fight hard enough?", "Did he hear me?", "Did he understand I wanted him to stop?" things like that.

The other thing that haunted me was that I didn't react the way I thought rape victims were "supposed" to react. All I had ever seen on TV were the victims who were terrified to be touched again, who couldn't stand to be around men. I lost my virginity to my rapist. I had been saving myself for marriage - so I figured this was the way I should act, too.

But I went in the opposite direction. I went wild. I figured I had saved myself all this time for nothing, so who cares? And I felt horribly guilty about that because that wasn't "normal". If I had really been raped, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with sex.

It wasn't until just a few years ago that I found out that the response is split just about down the middle between aversion/ addiction when rape occurs. And there were other painful and embarrassing problems that added to my guilt and confusion over the entire thing.

I actually contemplated trying to find him last year and asking him what his view of the entire incidence was. I wanted to be hypnotized so I could have more "authentic" memories of what happened (because so much was blank). And then one day I "cascaded" - my memories came crashing back and a lot made sense - painfully.

If anyone ever feels confused about their experience with rape and guilt or blame issues and can't talk about it on the open forums, please PM me, because I know how it feels. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Michelle Taylor
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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thanks for sharing your story and your feelings alot of girls and women have a hard time telling their story because they still have those "guilt" feelings about the situation but it is good for them to know that is wasnt in any means their fault, and everyone reacts to a rape differently i think there is no supposed way to act we all have different coping mechanisms, ect and i'm sure others replay events in thier heads to see what went wrong or right or if they could have done something differently, but just know that you are a survivor of this and that you can be happy in your life and move from this though it may take some time, but i wish you luck with everything

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Gecko
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Dear Bella,
Whether you were abused as a child or as an adult, the fact remains, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

NO means NO and some people just don't listen to that. Even if you were too scared to say "NO" it is STILL not your fault because no one has the right to take advantage of another person.

It is a common fact that many sexual abuse and rape victims respond differently to what has happened to them. Some become promiscuous, and some go right off sex altogether. We are all individuals and we are all different. The emotional and physical trauma can affect each person differently. We are the victims here, NOT those who took advantage of us. We are the ones who got hurt, and have had to carry our fears and guilt in the years that followed, while 'they' have walked free, and no doubt repeated their power seeking behaviour with other innocent victims.

We who have survived, dear Bella, are HEROES - because we have not lost our ability to trust and to go on loving.

Be proud of yourself, hold your head high, and KNOW that you were in NO WAY to blame.

Bless you!


Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
John Adams


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I get very, very upset reading about any kind of abuse, but child abuse is the worst. I wish I could put them all in a mincer one by one, how can you take advantage of child?

But trust me when he dies and meets his maker, he will wish he was burning in hell because, beliver it or not, what awaits him is worse.

All the best, chin up... at all times.

Joined: Nov 2005
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Gecko
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Gecko
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Hey Michelle!

Glad you stopped by and thanks for your post.

No means No.
It's as simple as that.

A woman nor a child, and this includes a man or a boy should never have to question whether they fought hard enough, because there should never have to be a FIGHT.

Because, No means No.

It saddens and sickens me, the way society and people always raise questions, about what the Victim/Survivor could have done.

What about the Rapist/Offender/Predator?

Vicki L. Forte'
Bellaonline
Crime Editor

We do the best we can in that moment.
We shouldn't have to question ourselves.
And, we shouldn't beat ourselves up, that all I wanted to say.

Last edited by Vicki_Forte; 06/02/06 01:48 PM.
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