logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
#248826 10/09/06 04:05 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 48
J
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
J
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 48
Quote:
the biggest thing i wish anyone could do is to have an open mind. its not WRONG, its wrong for YOU.
[/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/music.gif" alt="" />


Right. Tolerate evil. Uh-huh. It's a false ideal.

What moral authority do you have to tell people what's right or wrong?

The religion of athiesm?

Sponsored Post Advertisement
#248827 11/27/06 01:33 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
F
Gecko
OP Offline
Gecko
F
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
To put it in terms of being evil is stretching it.
If consenting adults decide to swing within the privacy of their own homes and have thought it through and communicated successfully as to how they are going to deal with the potential consequences if they occur, then I don't really see what's so "evil" about it.
Organized religion is nothing but arrogant, judgemental, and segregates people. I don't think one needs to believe in an organized religion to believe in GOD and therefore doesnt automatically make them aethists either. The bad things that happen in our lives and the bad things people do in their lives are the choices they make. This comes from within not by some tempting force coming from some big red ugly dude with horns. That's simply a cop out and the world would be a better place without the existence of "isms". But this is a whole other conversation so I digress.
I do in fact get angry at the double standards I see in the media:
For example, I was watching The Big Idea with Donny Duetsch where on his show he had polygamists who were consenting adults, NOT the ones in Colorado City Utah who abuse childern.
Anyway, he was giving the women in the polygamist relationship such a hard time about their choices.
Not even a month later he had Hugh Hefner and his 3 much younger girlfriends on his show, Donny Duetsch did nothing but kiss all their asses for the whole interview.

#248828 11/27/06 02:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
Quote:


Right. Tolerate evil. Uh-huh. It's a false ideal.

What moral authority do you have to tell people what's right or wrong?

The religion of athiesm?


Quote:
Thread question: No.

They're overlooking a problem with themselves or the relationship with a temporary fix.


Agreed on both levels.

I think the spice girls said it best...

"When TWO become ONE!"

Okay.. Sorry.. My girlfriend got me into them. Hey they're right!

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
F
Gecko
OP Offline
Gecko
F
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
Each couple is different and they find out what works out best for them, whether it's swinging or not. The reality is that it's only sex.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Originally Posted By: forcegx7
Each couple is different and they find out what works out best for them, whether it's swinging or not. The reality is that it's only sex.


Swingers bring down the whole relationship to sex.

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 3
K
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
K
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 3
My fiance has brought up swinging. I was against it because I like having the intimate relationship with one person and one person only, but he's for it because he says he loves our sex life and would love to experience having sex with other people with me. Like it would be "us" having sex with "them." we talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up. We talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up.

After a couple conversations I found between my fiance and other women, I got really uneasy with the whole idea. Even though he says he'd never cheat, I am still very confused about whether or not this person is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this sounds like cold feet, as the wedding is only 3 months away. But i'm in a serious crisis and do not have a clue what to do.

It's like my fiance has two distinct sides, only one of which I love with all my heart. The side I love is a gentle, compassionate, intelligent man who is the best life partner I could ever have. We practically fell in love within a week of meeting, and found the soulmate we had been searching. We are best friends, and we have a great life ahead of us.

The side I don't like is the guy who goes online to get girls to send him pictures, poses as me online and emails girls saying that i want them to join me and my boyfriend, and talks about previous encounters with sexual partners. This online guy makes me sick.

So my fiance says that he would give up fooling around online if it means I stay with him and we get married. And i know this would seem great, and exactly what i want. But i'm still hesitant because i know that he will be wanting to do all that stuff, so it just stinks that i know he'll still want it and it will be on the back of his mind all the time.

Are all the good things I love about my fiance enough to outweigh the creepy online guy side he has? would him giving up fooling around online really be enough to make this work? would he really be able to give it up in the long run, or is he just saying this right now so that we will get married? am i going to be worried about my fiance's online habits for the rest of our lives, and would i want to spend that much energy worrying about it?

PLEASE, any feedback would be really great.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Originally Posted By: KatherineB
My fiance has brought up swinging. I was against it because I like having the intimate relationship with one person and one person only, but he's for it because he says he loves our sex life and would love to experience having sex with other people with me. Like it would be "us" having sex with "them." we talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up. We talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up.

After a couple conversations I found between my fiance and other women, I got really uneasy with the whole idea. Even though he says he'd never cheat, I am still very confused about whether or not this person is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this sounds like cold feet, as the wedding is only 3 months away. But i'm in a serious crisis and do not have a clue what to do.

It's like my fiance has two distinct sides, only one of which I love with all my heart. The side I love is a gentle, compassionate, intelligent man who is the best life partner I could ever have. We practically fell in love within a week of meeting, and found the soulmate we had been searching. We are best friends, and we have a great life ahead of us.

The side I don't like is the guy who goes online to get girls to send him pictures, poses as me online and emails girls saying that i want them to join me and my boyfriend, and talks about previous encounters with sexual partners. This online guy makes me sick.

So my fiance says that he would give up fooling around online if it means I stay with him and we get married. And i know this would seem great, and exactly what i want. But i'm still hesitant because i know that he will be wanting to do all that stuff, so it just stinks that i know he'll still want it and it will be on the back of his mind all the time.

Are all the good things I love about my fiance enough to outweigh the creepy online guy side he has? would him giving up fooling around online really be enough to make this work? would he really be able to give it up in the long run, or is he just saying this right now so that we will get married? am i going to be worried about my fiance's online habits for the rest of our lives, and would i want to spend that much energy worrying about it?

PLEASE, any feedback would be really great.

your fiance is addicted to sex. You will not have a peaceful life with him. I have read your post in detail and I strongly feel that before you marry, you must think hundred times. My advice- please do not marry this man.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
F
Gecko
OP Offline
Gecko
F
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
Originally Posted By: KatherineB
My fiance has brought up swinging. I was against it because I like having the intimate relationship with one person and one person only, but he's for it because he says he loves our sex life and would love to experience having sex with other people with me. Like it would be "us" having sex with "them." we talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up. We talked about it and started to find couples online with whom we could potentially hook up.

After a couple conversations I found between my fiance and other women, I got really uneasy with the whole idea. Even though he says he'd never cheat, I am still very confused about whether or not this person is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know this sounds like cold feet, as the wedding is only 3 months away. But i'm in a serious crisis and do not have a clue what to do.

It's like my fiance has two distinct sides, only one of which I love with all my heart. The side I love is a gentle, compassionate, intelligent man who is the best life partner I could ever have. We practically fell in love within a week of meeting, and found the soulmate we had been searching. We are best friends, and we have a great life ahead of us.

The side I don't like is the guy who goes online to get girls to send him pictures, poses as me online and emails girls saying that i want them to join me and my boyfriend, and talks about previous encounters with sexual partners. This online guy makes me sick.

So my fiance says that he would give up fooling around online if it means I stay with him and we get married. And i know this would seem great, and exactly what i want. But i'm still hesitant because i know that he will be wanting to do all that stuff, so it just stinks that i know he'll still want it and it will be on the back of his mind all the time.

Are all the good things I love about my fiance enough to outweigh the creepy online guy side he has? would him giving up fooling around online really be enough to make this work? would he really be able to give it up in the long run, or is he just saying this right now so that we will get married? am i going to be worried about my fiance's online habits for the rest of our lives, and would i want to spend that much energy worrying about it?

PLEASE, any feedback would be really great.


I have nothing against couples who are swingers, and I would be careful as to go as far and call him and addict. Many people mistaken addiction with curiosity when it comes to things like this.

I personally don't like his approach online. I think it's childish and deceptive. He's playing to one of the main double standards in society...that people are more receptive and trustworthy of women than men, so that's why he's doing it that way.

The fact of the matter is, is that you both are NOT on the same page with each other when it comes to this. Both parties have to be on the same page, and be involved equally with the whole process from looking for mates to the actual sex. If you know in your heart that you could never feel 100% comfortable with swinging and yet he keeps pressing the issue, then find a new man. It's comes down to respect.

You need to seriously consider if this is the man you want to be with, and he needs to seriously have more consideration about what you are & are not comfortable with.

In a relationship both of you must be willing to openly communicate. And you have to be able to compromise everything but your values and integrity.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
I personally think that swinging is very unethical, immoral and wrong. i am not in any position to do anything, but i think that the right to swing is wrong. I know that I may get bombarded, but I must call a wrong a wrong. That is my personal opinion.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
F
Gecko
OP Offline
Gecko
F
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
Originally Posted By: cdmohatta
I personally think that swinging is very unethical, immoral and wrong. i am not in any position to do anything, but i think that the right to swing is wrong. I know that I may get bombarded, but I must call a wrong a wrong. That is my personal opinion.


Then don't do it yourself. You're entitled to your opinion, but you really have a responsibilty NOT to impose judgement & tell people that are involved in swinging that it's "wrong".
If it's something that works for their relationship and what they do behind closed doors has nothing to do with you, therefore using the term "wrong" is clearly subjective & judgemental when it comes to their sexual behavior that you are not even involved with.

Swinging is not right or wrong. Some couples it may benefit, some it may be too risky in causing a rift in the relationship. Both results have occurred with several couples throughout time and space, so it isn't practical or sensible to think of it as a cut & dry behavior one way or the other.

It never seizes to amaze me how people are so quick to impose such huge morality judgements to sex & sexual issues, than we actually do with issues involving violence.

For example, I overheard a parent say that her 10-11 year daughter was interested in watching James Bond movies. Both parents stated that they didn't think it was a good idea to let their daughter watch James Bond movies yet, because of the "sex scenes."

I thought to myself...every James Bond movie is the same:
Each one involves a "sex scene" that shows a little art of seduction, kissing, and heavy petting ONLY. This scene typically only lasts 3-5 minutes in just about every James Bond movie. Almost the rest of the movie is violence...fighting and shooting, and these parents are worried about their daughter seeing 3-5 mins of kissing and heavy petting.

This is what I'm talking about people. We have our priorities all screwed up. Especially when it comes to something as natural & God giving as sex and human sexuality. These repressive attitudes and the overlook of violence is one of the biggest reasons why most women have a hard time achieving an orgasm until much later in life if they ever achieve it at all, it's one of the biggest reasons why husbands and wives don't know how to satisfy each other in bed resulting in an unfulfilling sex life, it's the one of the biggest reasons why we have a big problem with sexual predators, priests molesting childern, etc, etc, etc...


Last edited by forcegx7; 03/13/07 10:33 PM.
Page 7 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Kate Relationships Editor 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Add Textural Dimension to Fabric
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 07/17/24 05:04 PM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 07/17/24 09:53 AM
Inspiration Quote
by Angie - 07/15/24 09:59 AM
Guy Pearce Film "The Convert" Released Today
by Angela - Drama Movies - 07/12/24 05:30 PM
Sugarcane Trailer - Theatrical Release in August
by Angela - Drama Movies - 07/12/24 05:18 PM
A Designed Container Garden
by Angie - 07/11/24 11:50 AM
Crazy Tanager
by Angie - 07/11/24 11:45 AM
Wine Tastings
by Angie - 07/11/24 11:42 AM
America 250
by Angie - 07/11/24 11:34 AM
How do YOU Define Classical Music?
by Angie - 07/11/24 11:27 AM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5