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Interracial dating in general. #248267
05/11/06 06:49 PM
05/11/06 06:49 PM
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Michigan
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My boyfriend and I live in a college town, and after completing the mba program, plan on moving elsewhere. We have never encountered problems with our relationship here, but his family [who are Nigerian] do not necessarily approve. We have also been to North Carolina where we received a number of unaccepting glances.

I have been in an interracial relationship for over a year now (white female, black male), and although where we live it is absolutely acceptable (most of the black men date white women), I know this is not always the case. I am curious how this topic is viewed in other areas, and the difficulties, or lack there of, people have experienced.


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248268
05/11/06 11:11 PM
05/11/06 11:11 PM
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i live in Oregon and I see it around here Interacial dating. I dont even look twice, but I know that there are judgemental people no matter where you go...

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248269
05/14/06 11:01 PM
05/14/06 11:01 PM
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Yeah, it just depends. My last relationship was with a black man and I'm white and we lived in NYC and obviously it wasn't out of the ordinary there. But where I live now, in certain areas it would be an issue, but not in others. We were still dating when I moved here and it was fine, but like I said some bars or some towns I would expect to get some looks so we just didn't go to those places.


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248270
05/21/06 05:42 AM
05/21/06 05:42 AM
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There'll always be stares, and comments no matter where you move. It's up to you to defy the negative sentiments. Sometimes the one for you doesn't look like you. There aren't many whites living in Nigeria, so the concern of his parents is understandable, as we always question things we don't understand.


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248271
05/25/06 10:03 PM
05/25/06 10:03 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 140
North Carolina
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i live in NC and i know all about the stares, ect people are gonna stare and show their ignorance, i just stare at them back. i do think that is it generally worse in the southern states, i've been to the nothern states too, and i like the attitides of the people better atleast when it comes to interacial dating, but dont let those people get to you.....love knows no color and just continue to hold your head up about the situation

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248272
05/27/06 02:15 AM
05/27/06 02:15 AM
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Seattle, WA
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I live in Seattle and as far as I know it's a non-issue for the majority around here (there will always be a few a$$ clowns who have a problem with it but they seem to be few and far between). In high school and college I dated a few boys/men who were black or Asian and I never felt like we were getting funny looks and I didn't hear any negative comments.

A friend of mine taught school in a small town in Louisiana a few years ago though, and she said the black kids and the white kids totally separated themselves - they barely spoke to each other let alone dated each other. She said it was quite a culture shock after growing up in the Pacific Northwest.

Last edited by Sofie; 05/27/06 02:17 AM.
Re: Interracial dating in general. #248273
05/27/06 05:16 PM
05/27/06 05:16 PM
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NYC
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My brother's girlfriend is white. While growing up we were not limited to color; the rule was, what mattered was if they treated you with love and respect. Out of all the girlfriends my brother has had, I am glad he has found a girlfriend that he is very happy with. And I couldn't ask for a sweeter sister-in-law (fingers crossed). <img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" />


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248274
05/28/06 08:59 PM
05/28/06 08:59 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 140
North Carolina
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people are just gonna be people i guess, i think the receptivity of these types of relationships is better accepted in some areas than others, in nc there are alot of ww/bm relationships it seems commomplace, but as a bf/ who dates wm i sometimes get stares, or looked at a little too long becuase certain types of races are more commonly seen together as couples than others

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248275
05/31/06 08:45 PM
05/31/06 08:45 PM
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I have two best friends, one 27, one 30. Their mother told them, if they were to marry a black man, that she would disown them. The older daughter flat out told me that white people should be with white people, and black people should be with black people. The younger daughter is quite a bit more open minded and said that you can't help who you fall in love with.

the moral of the story is, getting a few stupid stares here and there are not that bad, as long as your family supports you

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248276
06/01/06 04:06 PM
06/01/06 04:06 PM
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North Carolina
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thats true..my family has never had a problem with anything and all of my friends are open-minded as well

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248277
06/01/06 07:42 PM
06/01/06 07:42 PM
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Michigan
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I agree, it is most difficult if it is not accepted by family, but at the same time, you love who you love, no matter what. Of course everyone wants approval from friends and family, but if they can't be happy you found someone who treats you wonderfully, then maybe their approval isn't so important.


~~*StacY*~~
Re: Interracial dating in general. #248278
06/01/06 08:19 PM
06/01/06 08:19 PM
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North Carolina
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thats true, alot of people have disaproving family members and they seem to struggle with their choices especially if they are still living with their parents but sometimes you just have realize that while you love your family you have to make your own choices because it is after all your life and no one can live it but you.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248279
06/13/06 02:04 AM
06/13/06 02:04 AM
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Calgary, AB
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Interracial dating is beastality, akin to a human mating with a chimpanzee. God created the races to be separate and it is in the Bible that they should not mix. I think anyone who participates in it will go to the lowest form in the afterlife.

It is not based on love. The racially inferior being wants to worm their way into the "upper" white class while the white person usually is someone who has been rejected by other prospective partners in their race and has to turn to a lower human form. For people who aren't race concius a lot of them would rather be with an inferior person than be alone unfortantaly.

The most common interracial couple I see here are white men with asian women. You have to really wonder about a relationship that's based on two people who have been rejected from each of their races and come to each other in desperation. asian guys are not that picky, so for them to shun an asian girl she must be REALLY unattractive. A lot of the cases are just brides from China who want a canadian passport and use the guy for that, while the guy just wants the girl because he can't have the more socially desirable white girl.

The only thing to do is let other people know how we feel and hopefully they will agree with us. I know I stare daggers every time I see an interracial couple and I refuse to serve them at my work as a travel agent (my boss understands and agrees with me in a lot of ways, but she will still serve them.)

Ask the white ancestors of the man who is participating in it and they would roll in his grave. He is diluting the pure white blood line by mating with inferior mongrels, which is another reason why whites will likely be extinct by 2050.

Most White people who date interracially would rather be with Whites but they've been rejected by Whites and have to lower themselves to dating scum. The best solution is to ignore these people. By not socializing with them, they'll be at a psychological loss. It's proven that if one is being ignored, frustration, depression, and desperation builds up. Whites who date inferior races really do want to be with Whites and if they're ignored by Whites, they won't be reinforced to date dirty races. I'm sure that the bottom of the white guy dating pool is happy to take whatever he can get.

As I stated before usually asian women will date white males because they're too ugly for Asian men (and most Asian men are not that attractive so for them to reject an Asian female she must be REALLY unattractive) and she wants a trophy, even if he is an inferior white male as long as he's white that's what counts. The white guy is usually someone who is weak in his own dating game so white girls reject him, therefore he sees Asian women as a second choice. White women are OVERWHELMINGLY the more attractive figure compared to the non-whit woman. A white man would never stoop to dating an Asian unless he was rejected by other white women and had no other choice.

People in interracial relationships DO NOT love each other. For one thing, most chinks can't speak English, so what she really wants from the white guy is a Canadian visa. Chinks are also superfishal and like a guy with a lot of money even if he is rejected by other white women and has to settle for an asian, she won't mind as long as she has his money.

No white guy would willingly date an asian unless he had been rejected by white women of his race. White woman are more beautiful, more intelligent, more socially desirable, more in demand than any asian woman. Nor would he want to put up with the stigma of interracial dating. The only reason a white guy would stoop to dating an inferior race is because he couldn't get any one else and didn't want to die alone.

Most interracial relationships I've observed have been short-lived. They were borne of a desire to rebel and/or seek attention...and they nearly never last.

The unfortunate result is when they result in a child. It is obvious watching a White parent attending their non-white offspring, and you can see the loathing and hatred and regret in their eyes. White parents of white offspring are much different, you can see they truly love their child.

Any parents who have interracial kids are just selfish. Not only are they diluting the white blood line but they are subjecting their kids to a horrible life of being teased and mocked, and endless questions of "What are you"? The child won't know how to identify himself and won't have any identity. That is really sad.

According to my sociology textbook, interracial couples break up more than intraracial couples, and interracial children have it worse off in terms of crime rates, academic success, career success, and friends. Who would want to be friends with a mud? His minority class mates won't want to be friends with him because he's not really one of them. His white class mates won't because he's tainted. Poor kids.

Race-mixing to produce a mud child is definitely child abuse. What kind of selfish parents would put there kids through that? They are alienating the kid from his grandparents and extended family (no one would want to touch a mud) and giving him a lifetime of an insecurity complex. Kids will ask "what are you?"

Personally I think race-mixing should be outlawed but that's just me.

A multi-or biracail family wouldn't or couldn't be a "normal" family just because there are two different races in there. No matter how "normal" they look, they can never truly be normal because there relationship is not based on love. Look at the asian/ white couples...Most of them are a gold-digger asian looking for a Canadian VISA and a white man who can't find a white woman so settles for an asian woman as his second choice. How is that love?

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248280
06/13/06 02:40 AM
06/13/06 02:40 AM
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Lake Lanier, Georgia
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Quote:
Interracial dating is beastality, akin to a human mating with a chimpanzee. God created the races to be separate and it is in the Bible that they should not mix. I think anyone who participates in it will go to the lowest form in the afterlife.


This is one of the most misquoted areas in the Bible - and to add on the words that you have said is horrible!

The part about not being "unequally yoked" is in no way referring to racially mixing in dating or marriage (although the KKK, nazis, and other low-life prejudiced people out there would like to have you think so!).

Uneqaully yoked is referring to a jewish woman marrying into a gentile or Christian home or vice/versa. It is very hard to raise a child with an acceptalbe and understndable set of values if the religions are that divided. - This Is what God warned against.

Interratial dating and procreation could be our worlds salvation. THERE ARE GENES THAT don't cross until someone falls in love with someone of another race and a brand new baby is born - and then WOW, WE have a cure for sickle cell anemia. Or how about Tay Sacs? WE CAN'T FIGHT THESE DISEASES ALONE. WE NEED TO START PULLING IN THE CELLS FROM ALL OVER AND SEE WHAT MAKES THE DISEASES WEAKEN AND WHAT MAKES THEM STRONGER.

It is possible that there is a plan for interracial dating that goes way beyond just two people falling in love. (Although that is a fine thing in and of itself!) Have you never noticed how physically beautiful the children are of such unions? I don't think that is a coincidence.

Last edited by Bella_Harmony; 06/13/06 11:15 PM.

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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248281
06/24/06 05:28 PM
06/24/06 05:28 PM
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Dang right. I knew this girl in high school. She's half black, half asian. She was drop dead gorgeous. Her parents named her "Ebony", cause out of all her other siblings, she is the only one who looked black.

And look at Ashanti! 3/4 black, 1/4 chinese. Beautiful and extremly talented.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248282
06/30/06 03:03 AM
06/30/06 03:03 AM
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Lost somewhere in Texas
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Quote:

This is one of the most misquoted areas in the Bible - and to add on the words that you have said is horrible!


A-yep. Obviously someone who also hasn't finished reading the rest of the religious text or didn't understand the parts about love, compassion, or being non-judgemental...

I live in a very multi-ethnic area (white may be the minority - I'm not sure of the latest stats) with all "classes" (low, mid, filthy rich). My children were always encouraged to be 'color-blind' and see people for who they are inside. My daughter's friends are all of different races as are the boys she chooses to date. And sorry, she's no where near the desperate end of the dating scale. She's above average intelligence and is considered quite 'hot' (not my words - her friends'). I wouldn't care if she married a different race or same gender as long as the other person in her life provided her the type of companionship/relationship she wants.


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248283
07/17/06 03:48 PM
07/17/06 03:48 PM
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Las Vegas, Nevada
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I'm a white guy and I've no problem being involved in an interracial relationship.so many people are judgemental though It's pretty sad.


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248284
07/18/06 10:44 AM
07/18/06 10:44 AM
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California
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Well, when I get wealthy, I'm going to start my own interracial neighborhoods!

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248285
07/21/06 08:07 AM
07/21/06 08:07 AM
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true love doesn't descriminate.. i have no against on interracial dating as long as your happy with one another. go for it, hear nobody.. for they don't know what you feel.

Last edited by LillyAnn; 10/14/06 01:28 PM.
Re: Interracial dating in general. #248286
08/15/06 10:50 PM
08/15/06 10:50 PM
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as long as u you are happy with whoever your goin out with...color shouldnt matter. things are different now....
i kno that some places still dont accept interracial relationships...but i feel that as long the person inside the skin makes you happy, you should be happy.
SKIN IS JUST A COLOR.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248287
10/12/06 08:19 AM
10/12/06 08:19 AM
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Las Vegas, NV
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Bloody hell, MarianneJ. I dont know how you could live with yourself calling PEOPLE scum, mud, dirty, chimpanzee, ugly, inferior mongrels...to name a few of the words you used. It is one thing to state your opinion about inter-racial dating but to resort to horrifyingly horrid name calling is just plain nasty and so out of taste. And here you are thinking of yourself as an intelligent and socially desirable white woman.....

I rest my case.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248288
10/12/06 06:11 PM
10/12/06 06:11 PM
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The truth is there ARE differences between the races. SOMETIMES this complements each other, sometimes it doesn't.

Some couplings are more common, like white men/asian women, black men/white women, etc. Some are less common, like white men/black women, black men/asian women, or asian men/white women. This is because of physical differences like asians are more feminine, so asian females are desired, but asian males are not. Blacks are more masculine, so black males can get another race easier than black females.

Marrianej, did your white man leave you for an asian women? What do you have against them?

It's not for trophy, or cuz they can't get a white woman. I'm a rich, tall, handsome white guy that's never been dumped. I can generally can choose the women I want, and I choose asian women because, get this, I think they're prettier!

Way more beautiful. I'm white, but I just don't like white women. Not attracted to them. I have nothing AGAINST white women, it's just my own mental preference.

Sorry to ruin your bigotry party. Sounds to me like her husband left her for an asian woman. I don't blame him!

Oh, and I almost left out a little thing called LOVE and it CAN cross racial lines.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248289
10/12/06 07:14 PM
10/12/06 07:14 PM
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New Orleans, LA, US
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Jordan13, you are spouting off on this forum as well with your hubris showing. Of course you are a tall handsome white guy who can get any woman he chooses. And how do we know that? Because you told us. And aren't we thrilled!


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Re: Interracial dating in general. #248290
10/13/06 04:29 AM
10/13/06 04:29 AM
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I'm trying to fend off a bigoted remark, pondlady, surely you approve.

Or do you too believe that people can't love across races? Or that there must be some psychological problem for white men to date asian women?

As for me, sure I'm not bad. For everything gained is a fault, like arrogance. I merely meant in the department of physical, or money, I'm doing well enough that I have the ability to date many women. I simply was explaining my choice, which she thinks apparently can only be for inadequate white men.


Re: Interracial dating in general. #248291
10/16/06 08:41 PM
10/16/06 08:41 PM
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TO Marianne

You are a very sick girl and in my opinion you are delusional. I had no idea rednecks like you still had the audacity to spread your ignorant filth in a public forum such as this.

Go crawl back into the hole where you come from.

Re: Interracial dating in general. #248292
11/01/06 10:45 AM
11/01/06 10:45 AM
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Mariannej's comments are dark, but not surprising. Trying to put all of my own personal biases aside, here's what mariannej has hit on:


1) There is definitely an inborn fear of that which is different. If you believe in Evolutionary theory, I think that as humans banded together in groups (for protection in numbers), outside groups were seen as threats. For example, other groups could steal their food or mate with their females and threaten their reproducibility. Yes, these are all animal instincts. After all, Evolution does say that we contain animal DNA. The other groups didn't necessarily have to be of different races though -- there is rivalry WITHIN all races and groups. However, if they were of a different race, then the "sense of the unknown" was heightened. The "more different" someone else is, the worse is the fear of predation. I believe this is the fundamental basis of rivalry and racism today. I claim that we have neural pathways from a million years ago that force us to automatically think the way we do -- they helped us to hold onto our food, mates, and lives. That DISTRUST was good at that time. Springing forward to modern times, these neural pathways don't help us anymore; rather they divide us and lead to oppression and wars. It's not unrealistic to say that without these "fears", we would be far more peaceful and productive as a world. But then again, the war machine has generated much technology throughout history...but that's another debate (without strife, would there have been a reason to invent --- hmmm?).


2) There is definitely a totem pole that exists in the world. A large percentage of people would put white people on the top. But, that's not a fundamental truth of the universe. It's more a historical artifact of white domination in the past few hundred years. This is history -- I'm not making it up. My point is that as more minorities rise to higher positions in the world, their place on the totem pole will rise. It's all about perceived value.


3) If you walk into a room and scanned every member of that room, you could INSTANTLY classify each person as ugly, beautiful, powerful, weak, etc. Humans are great are categorizing (or miscategorizing) other humans, due to items 1 and 2 as I mention above.


4) In some regions, minorities have a higher "worth" than in other regions. "Worth" is a shifting property that varies with time and regions. For example, Shiite and Sunni hate each other for religious reasons. French and Brits hate each other for cultural differences (and because of the wars in their past). US-Southern state whites have quite a bit of racism for non-whites compared with whites in the US-Northeast. Fortunately, things are getting better. However, rivalries and racism will always exist, unless this genetic disposition for hating other races can be removed from our DNA or from our minds after birth -- don't count on that happening anytime soon!


5) Racism can be transferred to a child easily. For example, in my region, when I was a child, I was taught to be racist against blacks and gays. I learned this from my parents and from my friends at school. This racism carried forward into my adulthood. I always found it strange when people expressed racism towards Jews, because I had never learned to hate that particular group. After mingling more and more with blacks and gays, I realized that people are people. It was the segregation of communities that bred ignorance and fear of the unknown. My racist thoughts eventually were dissolved away. I would be lying if I said they're all gone. It was part of my childhood and some remnants will probably always remain. Sad, but I'm not here to BS anyone into thinking that I'm a totally enlightened person now. I have my flaws, but I am a work in progress.


6) So, it sounds like I'm saying the politically correct statement that no one should hate anyone. No. Let me explain. There are definite trends that exist in various groups. I find that Afro-American and Italian Americans tend to be more aggressive than let's say Asian Americans. Some would call this stereotyping, but anyone who says that these trends don't exist is trying to be a politically correct idiot. Trends do in fact exist. But that doesn't mean that I should hate the whole race. I am turned off by aggressive people in general. Does that mean that I should dislike all Afro-Americans and Italian Americans? No, of course not. The targets of my dislike are "overly aggressive people". It just so happens, that the Afro-American and Italian American subcultures have a higher percentage of aggressive people. Why are they more aggressive -- well there's a long complex history that explains the traits of any group. Unfortunately, it is a human logic fallacy to put an entire group on his sh*t list when 1 member of that group crosses him. So, as the conventional wisdom states, don't discriminate on a group basis. You can discriminate on a personal basis, because if you meet a person who is an [censored], then why bother liking him? Okay fine, we should be more forgiving, but my comments are more for rejecting group discrimination and trying to understand the history and psychology behind it. And don�t forget that who you think is an [censored] may not be one to someone else.


7) A friend of mine once told me that you may claim that you are NOT racist against a group but you ARE IN FACT lying if you would gak at the thought of reproducing with someone from that group. Hmmmm.....interesting. Yes, I think a lot of people do give lip service only to being "color-blind". They are fooling you or perhaps even themselves. At minimum, they have psychological issues against that group.


8) As mariannej suggested, it is possible that on a mass scale, people have tried to improve their social status by dating or marrying someone higher up on the perceived �totem-pole". It happens between races and it could happen WITHIN a race as well. For example, a gold digger. There may even be some truth in what mariannej said about some people lowering their social status because of psychological issues. However, what marrianej doesn't get is that ON A MASS SCALE, it is also the case that many people don't see certain other races at different levels on the totem-pole. So, when a Korean marries an Afro-American or a Muslim marries a white, all of these specific people may in fact be confident in their own status and marry because of compatibility. Yes, it happens all the time!! But, let's not be naive here. Westerners are targeted all over the world by third-worlders to get an entry into a more prosperous country and improve their living standards. Poor girls marry rich men on purpose. People have agendas.....but not always. I couldn't even venture to guess how many relationships are agenda-driven and how many are love-driven.


9) My conclusion about mariannej is that she is a product of her community. She mentions that her boss has similar feelings. According to her profile, she is in Calgary. I don't know if she grew up there or on which side of the tracks she grew up in. She is obviously white. She might be super pretty or not. Low, middle, or high class -- who knows? The point is that we are all products of our communities. If I were born in certain parts of Iraq and went to a fundamentalist school, I would probably be a Muslim and possibly hate Jews, Christians, and Americans (I think). If I were born in the same area to moderate thinking parents, I might not hate anyone. If I were born in Mobile, Alabama to middle class black parents, well, I have no idea what I'd be like. I'm not trying to say that 100% of who we are should be accepted simply because of where and under what conditions we grew up in. All humans have the responsibility to further themselves. If you don't try to further yourself mentally, then you're doomed to be stuck in a box your entire life. Some people argue that NOT questioning things too much is GOOD for a particular society as a whole. There is a theory that states that up to a point, questioning things is a good thing. But, after a certain tipping point, it serves as a destabilizing factor since it causes deep polarizations between people with different opinions. But anyway, once again, I digress.


10) Just to identify myself, I am a first generation Indian American male (yes, of the 7-11 Indian variety). I grew up in South Florida and always had an identity problem. This is an issue that I've spent a great number of years brooding over. It's a common issue for first-generation children of third-world parents growing up in first-world countries. It affected my personality greatly -- more than it should have. In fact, many first-generation people end up with inferiority complexes. I now realize how misguided this is but when I was 7, 8, and 9 years old, rational thought was not always forthcoming. So, for any minorities out there, try to make your children knowledgeable and proud of their own race. Try to teach them their root language. They WILL notice that they are different from the majority and they may not mind it. Or, they may try to emulate the majority culture and dissociate themselves from their root culture -- this leads to cultural hate, low self-esteem, identity problems, and a host of psychological problems. Try to avoid this situation. Always talk to your kids. Be observant of confidence issues. Make sure they have friends from all cultures. You may hate certain cultures, but don't pass it on to your kids. Let your racism die with you. It is normal to dislike someone, but make sure your child dislikes that person not because of a group that this person belongs to, but rather because that person really did something to offend him. Then, if you have a big heart, maybe you can teach your kid forgiveness on a personal level. I'm not there yet.

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