BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Why are relationships so hard?

Sometimes it seems that relationships are so hard.... I think it is a struggle everyday to keep everything going, but then I think about all the good things and the bad thoughts are gone... SOrry I just had to vent for a sec...

Relationships stress us. To keep a relationship going, we need to think all the time and remain alert. That tires us.
Sometimes a relationship becomes so tiring that partners begin hating each other because they blame each other for all the tiredness.

Relationships are not hard...it's the individuals who make it hard....

there's a constant need for each person to want to be right, and in control...
relinquishing, compromising and meeting half-way, is not a climb-down - it's an acceptance and a respect for the dignity and right of the other person....

Just look at this quiz on relationships. Are you getting joy in your relationship?

Alexandria, you are SO astute with your observations. This is true insight into how to make a relationship work, but it is also what causes so much personal anguish over making concessions and deciding where an even balance should be.

"Relationships are not hard...it's the individuals who make it hard....", according to Alexandria, and I agree. Each person puts into and gets out exactly what they want, expect, and will tolerate from a relationship. Sometimes it is frustrating, irritating or aggrevating working through some stressful periods of any relationship, but it is simply a learning process.



Trish

Somebody said that when love is thin, accusations fly thick. I think that applies to relationships. when love is not present, everything becomes difficult.

From what one reads in forums on relationships, it seems that most of the relationships manage to give more pain than joy after some time. The rise in divorce rates is an indicator to this. Why have relationship if that will give more pain than pleasure to both the partners? Don't you also ask this question? It is becoming so difficult to keep a healthy relationship that one feels that he/she is coming from one office to another office. Where is the home with freedom, acceptance and love?

Relationships are becoming ego problems. Communication needs to be guarded. Wishes have to be taken care of. Sacrifices have to be made. Individuality has to be killed. Compromises have to be made at every step. Even after making many compromises, the relationship may break. One feels broken after making so much effort and find that nothing was of any use. It seems that either most of us are getting caught up with wrong partners or the break-ups occur very fast.

When I watch children playing, birds flying and fish swimming so carelessly, I envy them. We adults have lost all the freedom because of relationships. Most of us at least have lost a lot that was individual. Why have relationships if they are expected to fail. Is it triumph of hope over reality as someone said? Even when we look around and find so many broken relationships, we tend to form new. After having repeated break-ups, we want more. Why do we do that, though we know that the result is more pain? What drives us to form new relationships? Why not live alone and enjoy the independence?

hi.

cdmohatta wrote:"What drives us to form new relationships? Why not live alone and enjoy the independence?"

We just were not created to be apart and alone. Whether you like it or not, you will desire someone, you will fall in love, and your lover will make demands that will require you to make compromises.

If you love your partner, those compromises will be interesting to make.

Why are relationships so hard?

Because the people involved in a relationship have different goals, different drives, different perspective on life and what's important.

They have different backgrounds, training, beliefs. To live and work together requires patience and understanding. You simply cannot run away from it.

Where there is love, the compromises will come from both sides. And you will enjoy making them.

Individuality is for bachelors and spinsters not for people in a relationship.

The key to enjoyable relationships?

Find someone who's compatible with you and who compliments you in everyway possible.

Thanks for sharing that. It always helps to know we aren't the only people feeling that way. You're right about thinking about the good things.

blessing2006 wrote-

The key to enjoyable relationships?

Find someone who's compatible with you and who compliments you in everyway possible.

Is this not very difficult? and more problem comes when the opinions change overa period of time. But i agree that whatever we say, we can not live alone. that is difficult, unless you have achieved fulfillment as Alexendra rightly pointed out.