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Wolf
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Why is sex becoming a predominant part of relationships? Even when I read about dating, sex crops up immediately. There are many other important parts to a relationship and human life is much more valuable than thinking of only sex. Even on the Internet, porno websites are scoring over all other websites. Why this trend and where will it lead ultimately?

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Sex is only a part. Relationship is the relationship between two hearts. It is ever lasting if and only if you understand we are into a relatioship for the Bliss.
Bliss is eternal, beyond age and sex.

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I teach Meditation residential at Mysore, India and online at my website: www.meditationguru.com
co created Spiritual Reality-journey within- video on Meditation and Meditation Experiences
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Zebra
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Thus have I heard:

When the sex life is good in a relationship, it's about 5% in importance.
When the sex life is not good in a relationship, it's about 95% in importance.

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Amoeba
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That is a great example Alexandra.. It is sooo true..

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yes very true. i think once sex life become dull it makes a bigger impact to the relationship than when sex life is good. I think sex should not be the most important part of a relationship. I think if 2 people have a strong bonding that is enough for them to have sex then sex is only the extra part of it because w/o sex, it should be just as good.

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Jellyfish
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<img src="/images/graemlins/beamedup.gif" alt="" /> great that you posted that..and theres truth to it as well

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Amoeba
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there is also a great difference between sex and making love sex being an action between two people
making love uses body mind and spirit!

the culture we are now part of is sex mad it is used in everything selling cars,movies, adverts, fashion,trends etc
no matter which way you turn its there.
thankfully they could never do that to the art of making love as it cannot be recreated!

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Wolf
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Wolf
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there is also a great difference between sex and making love sex being an action between two people
making love uses body mind and spirit!

This is true.

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Jellyfish
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very true

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Amoeba
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I think we live is a world where sex is everywhere, so we are in some way influenced by it.

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Zebra
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Amazing though, that with all the species of creatures on the planet, 'Man' (purportedly at the top of the food-chain and allegedly the most intelligent[color:"red"]*[/color]) is the only creature with hang-ups....I bet wildebeest females don't think 'does my bum look big in this?' or wildebeest males wondering if they are 'man' enough....!





([color:"red"] *[/color] The jury is still out on this one....!)

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Wolf
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Alexendra,you have a valid arguement here.
Somehow sex is taking over our life. I some times visit teenage forums and find children of very young age talking about sex and various issues related to it. The kind of questions they raise , sometimes make me wonder if they get time to study at all? Will this not lead to another downfall of civilizations?

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Zebra
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Sex sells. Always has done, and always will...the problem is, with the influence of the media, films, computer games and simple peer pressure, children today miss out on the one vital luxury people of my age seemed to have when we were young....


....A childhood.

Little girls are dressed as minature models of britney spears, and there is no line between the fine existences of child, adolescent, teenager and adult... the edges aren't blurred... ask any 12-year-old preganant girl...the edges are simply no longer there....we used to give girls dolls that refelected their ages.... a small inmaginary companion....now they have Bratz, barbie dolls (and a new relationship with Ken seems on the cards...though I've heard he may be gay....?? WTF!? <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> ) and new-born babies, complete with umbelical cord bandages.....
Whilst boys play with Lara Croft, and games of such violence on their x-boxes, we wonder why violence spills into real life....

The downfall of civilisation is constantly happening all around us...It's not in the future...It's now....

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Jellyfish
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great post..seems like sex is everywhere, even in magazines in grocery stores where on the front covers of womens magazines occasionally on the front page will be advice on 20 ways to please your man and even these teen magazines have little quizes on how good a girlfriend you are...seems like the idea is to make sure the women know how to keep their men satisfied whereas if u look at any mans magazine in grocery stores they talk nothing about these topics....

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Wolf
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yesterday I saw an advertisement on Men's innerwear with a woman model thrown in. There was no talk about why men should use that brand, except the expression of ecstasy on the woman model's face. I wonder if such advertisements really work? Do men buy a product which is advertised in such a manner?

Do women buy products whose ads have less information about the product and are filled more with such pictures? Why advertisers are not talking about utilty of the product? Is consumer really a fool? Are consumers taking logical buying decisions or getting affected by such ads? Any opinion?

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Zebra
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Advertising is carefullu=y and cleverly design to push all the right buttons....without knowing it, virtually everything you buy at one point or another, is because someone, somewhere, might have mentioned how good it is.... and some of that hype-publicity has struck home...Not with everything, and not every time....

What irks me is that aparently, the only people who use shower gel/deodorant/shaving foam/skin cream/shampoo are obviously very attractive, a perfect size 8 with fine chiselled looks, wonderful skin and stunning good looks.....!!

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Yes its so apparent that sex is becoming such a big thing for so many relationships. I'm opposed to that though. I've set myself up for online dating and i've been meeting different guys. Sex to me isn't a big thing. The important thing to me is character. Just because im on webdate doesn't mean I'm a nymph. I'm out to find the right partner. The sex can happen when he comes along.

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Jellyfish
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My point of view is that sex is important because it 'was important' to begin with. Couples so frequently grow apart, and it's often sex which can be conveniently scapegoated as the reason, although I feel that a depreciated sex life is more of a symptom than a cause. When couples complain (individually or together) that their sex life is not good enough, it is at least a sign that they still care - that they want what they had (those initial feelings of being in love) back. If they can identify that that's what they're saying and communicate with one another, then I feel that they can renew their love , even if it has to be different, because life does throw experiences our way, and to try to deny them would be silly.

just my thoughts <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> - Jane


Today is good <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Wolf
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I agree with Jane that sex is important. But is it very important in a relationship? I have seen old couples totally incapable of having sex with each other, enjoying their relationship much better than many young couples. After watching such old couples, I realize that there are many more dimensions to a relationship.

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Zebra
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excuse me...How do you know they are "totally incapable of having sex with each other"....?
I used to work in an old people's home,a nd some of the things they got up to, bless them, would make your hair stand on end!

Past it?
Don't you believe it!!

And whilst we're on the subject, just why is the idea of an elderly couple still enjoying a sex life, so alien to some people? When is the 'right' age to stop? Why should they?

Unless there's a definite prohibitive medical condition - heck - why not?

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Wolf
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I never knew about what you are telling me. I was not informed well about this subject. Thank you for letting me know that old aged enjoy sex. That is lovely to hear. May god bless them. And I agree that as far as the will is there and the body follows the will they should enjoy sex. I agree totally.

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Wolf
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I want to tell about my experience toady. I was surfing through a teen forum. Most of the posts, whether by boys or by girls, were talking of sex. I got shocked out of my wits. Either I am old fashioned or there is something wrong with teen population that talks of sex so freely at such tender age. I think that I am old fashioned. But what I read made me think. Why the parents don't keep any control?

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Zebra
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I take you back to my post, page one, post # 22862329....

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Wolf
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Yes. Now I understood that post better. Thanks. It is a joy talking with you.

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That's part of the reason I decline to be in a relationship....because I don't "put out" casually, and I'm sure there are no guys out there who would be understanding of that. My ex, in the end, certainly wasn't.

I'm even hesitant about casual dating because sex is still so much a part of that. I've almost told people before that I'm not interested in a serious relationship, but wouldn't mind something casual--and stopped myself, because I've realized that'll sound like I'm looking for one-night stands or something.

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Zebra
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I know what you mean about the stigma attached to the word 'casual'...It makes it soundlike 'an easy pushover'....

There's always the words 'Human Companionship'.... as opposed to relationship....

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Wolf
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'Human Companionship'
Does this mean friendship?

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Zebra
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not necessarily...

A friendship is something you can have with anybody, and does not imply continuous contact or connection...you have a friendship with the people in your neighbourhood, with fellow parents at the school, with work colleagues...
A Companionship implies something with regard to a fixed connection...
I have two elederly friends (she is a widow, he is a batchelor) and they live together, but not in an itimate sense....

Last edited by Alexandra; 05/24/06 06:32 AM.
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Hi
I'm new to this but sex in a relationship is very important without it there is no relationship.

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Wolf
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hello karenw

Is this your website?
www.getrevengeonyourex.com
The name sounds quite interesting.

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Jellyfish
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i understand what youre saying....i've been in relationships where the guy had sex on the brain most of the time and i just wasnt in the mood for it, i think sex is important in a relationship but its not the only part of it sometimes you just want to talk and have a intelligent conversation or watch a movie and enjoy the others person's company in other ways that dont involve them getting naked just because they got "hard" i mean if we women were asked to have sex with them everytime they got hard we'd never be able to leave the bedroom

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Shark
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Hmmm....never leaving the bedroom...I've had a few of those weekends:) I think sex is a very important part of a relationship. Most important? That would probably be friendship (unless it's JUST a sexual relationship, then to hell with that). But I'd say the key to a great relationship is genuinely LIKING the person you're with...makes the sex better.


Mother always said that even when things seem bad there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter or being chained to the wall in someone's sex dungeon.
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Shark
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hey they give inmates in prison viagra... the flood the meda with sex...come on now a commersal selling colon for men witha sexy young mucaled up man thats half dressed? I dont know about the men but he could smell like drity socks and i would not care!!! and who doesnt want to look like the Cover girls? teens are starving them selves because they want to be thin and popular and lets face it when was the last time you saw a fat chick get the guy in a movie or tv show? how bout make cheerleader? or Prom Queen? or even pretty cloths that dont look like teepees or grand ma? SEX= love= skinny no one thinks about brains=sexy? gee thats a thought albert Instiane= Nick Cage??!!!,,, no one makes that conection.
where does this led 5yr old dressing like britny sprare men thinking 9yr olds are 18 and 10yr olds haveing babys... men thinking women are for sex only women thinking they have to fix in the model mode to be loved and if the man wants sex them he loves me as long as i put out and look good... kids growing up with daddy of the day because the mom slept with so many men the state cant run enough DNA test to find the real dead beat dad. men feel useless and unwanted so they give up and live with the women with the most kids= goverment money. women figures out that more kids=$$$=man stays longer= man loves her welcome to america!!! Land of the pregent and home of the poor!!! goverment and rich take control game over!!! divid classes give the poor money to cure ALL problems give the rich tax cuts and the middle class gets poorer and falls into the lower class. comunisim begans.


All things are permissible but not all things are beneficial. judge not lest ye be judged.
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Shark
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I have seen old couples totally incapable of having sex with each other,

LOL i worked in nursing homes believe me they can and do have sex...VIAGRA baby VIAGRA... and besides that they dont call dirty old men drity for nothing!!!


All things are permissible but not all things are beneficial. judge not lest ye be judged.
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Wolf
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Quote:
I have seen old couples totally incapable of having sex with each other,

LOL i worked in nursing homes believe me they can and do have sex...VIAGRA baby VIAGRA... and besides that they dont call dirty old men drity for nothing!!!


Do you want to say that young people having sex are clean and old people having sex are dirty?

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Wolf
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Wolf
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Quote:
hey they give inmates in prison viagra... the flood the meda with sex...come on now a commersal selling colon for men witha sexy young mucaled up man thats half dressed? I dont know about the men but he could smell like drity socks and i would not care!!! and who doesnt want to look like the Cover girls? teens are starving them selves because they want to be thin and popular and lets face it when was the last time you saw a fat chick get the guy in a movie or tv show? how bout make cheerleader? or Prom Queen? or even pretty cloths that dont look like teepees or grand ma? SEX= love= skinny no one thinks about brains=sexy? gee thats a thought albert Instiane= Nick Cage??!!!,,, no one makes that conection.
where does this led 5yr old dressing like britny sprare men thinking 9yr olds are 18 and 10yr olds haveing babys... men thinking women are for sex only women thinking they have to fix in the model mode to be loved and if the man wants sex them he loves me as long as i put out and look good... kids growing up with daddy of the day because the mom slept with so many men the state cant run enough DNA test to find the real dead beat dad. men feel useless and unwanted so they give up and live with the women with the most kids= goverment money. women figures out that more kids=$$$=man stays longer= man loves her welcome to america!!! Land of the pregent and home of the poor!!! goverment and rich take control game over!!! divid classes give the poor money to cure ALL problems give the rich tax cuts and the middle class gets poorer and falls into the lower class. comunisim begans.


ARE YOU NOT DEVALUING EVERY RELATIONSHIP?

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Wolf
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There are instances when a couple died within hours of each other. Sex is asmall part of the relationship that makes our journey beautiful. It is not said for nothing, that behind every successful man, there is a woman and vice versa. A man is incomplete without a woman and vice versa. In hinduism, Lord Shiva is depicted as half man and half woman to show this.

Unfortunately with the degradation in values all around us, sex is becoming predominant.those of you who are skeptical of a beauty of relationship, should once get into a relationship where you think of only giving and making your partner happy. I don't know what to say and how to express myself. But I have shareda relationship where sex was a small part, but I always felt very good.

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Gecko
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A man is incomplete without a woman and vice versa.

I hope you're kidding when you say that.

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Wolf
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No, This is absolutely true. You may have your opinion and you have right to that.

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I am with Katja on this one <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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I dont think freebubbles meant that elderley people having sex were dirty <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> She was just making a point thats all.

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Zebra
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Quote:
In hinduism, Lord Shiva is depicted as half man and half woman to show this.


The Duality of Lord Shiva is the Unity within everyone of the Sacred Feminine and Masculine - an inherent and ever-present paired quality in everyone. it is to be found within, not from someone else. Shiva's "duality" is the perfect balance ALREADY in Shiva of the two - it is not dependent on another person putting it there. It is there already - but up to the individual, to develop, honour and manifest them for themselves.

Quote:
A man is incomplete without a woman and vice versa.


As long as you think and believe this, you will never find true happiness, Joy, Inner Peace or Serenity. As long as you are dependent on the input from another person, to make you complete, you will never fulfil your own personal perfection - because nobody should ever be required to do that for you.
You - and only YOU - can make yourself complete. Input from somebody else, will always leave you INcomplete...

Last edited by Alexandra; 06/14/06 08:09 AM.
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Wolf
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You are right about Lord Shiva.
you are also right when you say that one has to find one's perfection within oneself. This is the teaching of Siddhas in India. I am sorry I had forgotten that.

Thank you very much for waking me up from my sleep.

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Amoeba
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I agree with you. Do any of you also feel as though kid are so surrounded by sex and violence they are starting to look at it as common place? Maybe that's not the right way to express it. I remember someone once telling me sex was like eating peanuts. Once you start you can't stop. Well, have you ever watched a comercial for some kind of food and you immediately feel hungry for it? I think kids are seeing comercials (live or otherwise) for sex everywhere and it's creating a dangerous appetite.

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Wolf
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Quote:
I agree with you. Do any of you also feel as though kid are so surrounded by sex and violence they are starting to look at it as common place? Maybe that's not the right way to express it. I remember someone once telling me sex was like eating peanuts. Once you start you can't stop. Well, have you ever watched a comercial for some kind of food and you immediately feel hungry for it? I think kids are seeing comercials (live or otherwise) for sex everywhere and it's creating a dangerous appetite.


What you say is true. Kids not only treat sex as common place but their libido increases at a very young age and the discipline is lost. No use blaming them for all the mess after exposing them to all this. When i read some posts on teen websites, I feel very bad, but we are all responsible.

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Zebra
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CDMohatta,

Sorry if this is off topic....
You sent me a PM about my writing skills....

I would be vey interested, and tried to reply via a PM, but the system tells me you are not accepting Private Messages....

I am moving from France (here and now) to the UK this Friday....(23rd June 2006)
I won't have my own PC for some time, but I will try to connect somehow...
I will talk again soon.

Thank you

Alexandra

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Shark
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Thank you Freespirit, you are right i was just trying to make a point that age has nothing to do with weither or not people have sex and that sex has become big business across the board!!! pharmacutical to socks it sells whatever when ever however... sorry if i offende anyone!


Judge not lest ye be judged: all things are permittable but not all things are beneficial
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Yes, I agree that I made this blunder.
I have enabled my PM now.
I am sorry that the forum will miss you for few days.

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funny site for you and your friends.click here&ltBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

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Sex is very important when the relationship is young but as the relationship matures it does not seem as important.

Whether that is right or wrong who knows, depends on the couples I guess.


Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them
but you always know they are there.
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