BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Am I the only one teaching "sir" & "ma'am"

Good manners and a smile goes a long way. When I travel, I try to learn to say "thank you," "excuse me," etc. in the native language. Of course, a smile is universal.



Taisha Turner <img src="/images/graemlins/fish.gif" alt="" />
Southeast Asia Travel

I saw this thread and was intrigued. Here in Canada, I don't know that I've ever heard "sir" or "ma'am" used by children. I work at a drugstore, and I really try to refrain from using "ma'am" as 9 out of 10 women get insulted by the term. (Myself included, actually.) For men there isn't much of a distinction, but for women- at least up north- it implies age. Although I have worked at teaching my boys manners, I can't picture them saying "ma'am" without getting scowls in return LOL.

I just saw this thread and being in and from the south I was recently surprised to hear that a teacher in our elementary school had told a child that ma'am or sir was NOT necessary as long as the student did not say "yeah" or "naw".

I was surprised and her mother, who has devoted a lot of time to teaching her children manners and respect for their elders, was not pleased. She wasted no time in telling the children, it may not be necessary to use courtesy titles, but it is finer way of speaking and an indication of good home training.

I know some here think of ma'am and sir as a age indicator as well. All I can say to that is I AM PROUD TO GROW OLD! doesn't wisdom come with age...what is so bad about being elderly?? I have never understood that. Then again I don't understand why people dye over their grey hair...I like grey hair...when it comes my way I will have earned every one.

I have a 13-year-old son and he has been taught "sir" and "ma'am" from birth! LOL...

I am from the South and we currently live in Memphis, TN. As a previous hotelier, I met some people from the Northeast who felt the "sir" and "ma'am" was meant sarcastically and they were insulted. I am not sure of the origin of this, but I have come across it many times.

This, however, has not stopped my teaching my son. He also opens doors for (all) ladies; opens car doors and helps ladies out of the car, etc., Some people are kind of stunned but others just smile.

On another note - I am 42 (but think I am still in my 20s) so it startles me when someone calls me "ma'am"! But, I smile and take it as a sign of respect not age!!! LOL...

I was taught to be polite, to say "please, "thank you," and "excuse me," but not to say "ma'am" and "sir," - I also view those as indicators of age, and it annoys me as well when I get called "ma'am."

I grew up in the Northwest but have traveled throughout the South quite a bit - "ma'am" and "sir" are definitely more prevalent in the South.

[color:"green"] I really appreciate hearing thank you, please and excuse me. I don't feel ma'am and sir are as necessary if the person you are addressing is given polite conversation. I guess it must be more of a north south thing. I certainly wouldn't be averse to hearing it but I don't feel it is a sign of disrespect not to use it. [/color]

I'm from the north (though lviing in south past 10 yrs) and my kids know sir and mam <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> If someone gets offended they can tell me and we'll figure out another polite way for my children to address them, perhaps mrs whatever or mr whatever

meg

My family must be strange then LOL We were taught to call close aquaintences of my parents and grandparents Ms. and their first name until told other wise. Like my grandmothers best friend was named Rose and we always called her Ms. Rose and her husband was Mr. Earl. And we were taught to call our aunts and uncles, Uncle Mike or Aunt Nancy. I always did say Yes Ma'am to my mother and grandmothers but never Yes sir to my dad or grandpa unless I was in big trouble. I am teaching my kids that if we are out in public at like a store or resturant to say THank you Ma'am/Sir but I say it so they have picked up on that.

How refreshing to read of how you are raising your son.Sadly you are in a minority these days.