I have been on this site now for I would say a month or so. I am an abused husband. That was really hard. My wife has hit me a few times and of course, I have never hit her back. I have instructed her the next time she does it we are done and she hasn't done it since.
I have been meeting with a domestic violence group now for about four weeks trying to piece together why and what has happened. I have begun to realized repressed instances of abuse, mentally and physically I have endured. There have been times when I have been punched, held down, pinned in a room, yelled at for no reason and manipulated.
I feel for every single woman nad man who has to go through this and I am very sorry for what has happened to you. I pray you will be able to find peace in your life once again. During my meetings I have found getting out of that type of a relationship as soon as possible to be the best route.
There are many men who go through the same type of abuse that women go through only they are too afraid to speak about it. They don't want to look less macho. I have seen these men have a complete and utter fear of women, so much so, they don't feel comfortable being in the same room with any women. This is very sad.
Currently, I'm going to try and help these gentlemen to realize that they do not need to fear all women and that it was only one woman who did this to them and not all. I believe it is helping. I have forgiven my wife for her actions at this point, but I also know it would not be healthy for the situation to continue.
Everytime my wife gets angry I have a fear she is going to hit me, throw something, continue to yell, pin me down, not let me move, follow me.... It is crazy to live like this. Now that we are seperated I have a fear she is following me everywhere I go. I see her car everywhere I go and sometimes I think I see her.
The effects of this type of physical/mental violence are horrible. I just want you all to know that their is a light at the end of the tunnel and you can move on from this. It is not easy and everyone is entitled to their feelings. There will be set backs and if/when you see the abuser your stomach will tighten and you will feel horrible. I have found remaining calm and when the situation begins to escalate try to diffuse the situation by saying, "Ok, let's calm down for a minute." Then, bring up a very nice memory from your time together. This will calm them down and then proceed back to the original conversation.